What are your rules?

[midnight hour]

We are new but the rules are not that long. Not as long as some peoples I know of.

Protection
No anal except with Mr. Midnight
No pain or icky stuff..water sports etc., not our thang...
I will be treated with respect...i.e. not be called nasty names or treated like a ronco pocket pussy.

We allow kissing, oral, I swallow..etc...so these are not taboo with us. Pentration is allowed...
We both must be in the mood, and click..we both have veto power...no questions asked as to why someone vetos someone.

I am sure if something happened we were not comfortable with out of the blue we would discuss it asap.

Midnight Hour

[RNDNV]

Ditto to almost all of the above, and to add one: not sure if its a "rule" as much as a preference, we like to start and warm-up with each other before we transition into swap.

[adventureUS2]

Our rules seem to change all the time. The more comfertable we become with this life style the less rules we seem to have. We will stick to the obviouse condoms, no pain, unless requested, ect. But as far as same room, diffrent rooms, together, alone all of this evolves as we become more experienced.

I guess I did leave off a few that I thought were a given as well:
No children or animals (We stick to over 21 yrs old)
No pain unless I ask for it!
No body functions (Do I look like a toilet?)

[tweedle]

Back when my first wife and I swung...

1) Absolute veto power without question either way (like Home Depot's no-haggle policy)...

2) Same room only (leaves no areas for speculative jealousy)...

We did OK.

Uncle Sam separated us long-term, which led to marital demise.

[24play]

Here's ours:

1. Same room only
2. No pain
3. Condoms if we do a full swop
4. I rule - but if one of us aren't happy, then it's a no go
5. Don't arrange for dinner on the first date. - coffee or drinks

Simple and effictive.

<EG>

[DBL D]

Rules change all the time. It's whatever you are both becoming comfy with. We never talked about whether we'd swing with a couple who were'nt married..but we have. They are fun and committed to each other and we'll probably see them again.

Try to give each other some latitude to do what you feel is ok as long as it isn't a cardinal rule.

Male D

[Purple]

Question to those that have said only married couples... do you mean "legaly" married, or just in a longterm commited relationship type married??

I have several friends that have been together nearly 10 years, but are not "married"...
if you knew swingers like this, would that put them on your "no" list, or are you meaning no b/f & g/f couples??

I'm quite surprized to see howmany people save anal for their spouse. It makes me more comfortable to be able to tell people that is one of my rules.

[24play]

Long term relationship is fine.

[ready2play]

Thanks! We fixed this. this board helped alot we picked the ones we knew would work for us.Not too many.
same room
condoms
afterglow petting is reserved for each other
We talked in depth about NO and also things that can be discussed at the time.

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by Purple

Question to those that have said only married couples... do you mean "legaly" married, or just in a longterm commited relationship type married??

I have several friends that have been together nearly 10 years, but are not "married"...
if you knew swingers like this, would that put them on your "no" list, or are you meaning no b/f & g/f couples??

In a couple on couple situation we're happy to play with couples who are in a stable relationship - the length of time that relationship has been going on is less important for us than its stability.

At the club it's a bit different, not surprisingly. There rarely seems to be the time to go into the background in quite so much detail!

CB

[MrSnozzberryBlu]

Good question!

My wife and I have pondered this particular point for quite a while.

The most important thing is to make sure that no matter what your profile says, that before play everyone knows what to expect and respect.

Our profile had so many rules that at one point it was almost pointless. I guess you could say that it became intimidating to anyone who might want to view it. That is not good.

By all means set rules that are most important to you and your spouse. Things that are minor or turn offs can be discussed prior to meeting or playing. By doing this you will get more responses and more opportunities to meet possible partners. You don't want to scare anyone off who may feel that the possibilities are too slim that they meet your criteria.

Also, what you may feel should be a rule because you don't know these people, may not be an issue after you meet. There have been several couples that my wife and I have felt less restrictive about after meeting them. Pictures do not always capture the person. Personality, connection, comfortableness, and trust may override rules before they even come to mind. It is really something special to be able to lay your rule list down after meeting a couple and feeling so comfortable that they no longer apply.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by MrSnozzberryBlu

Also, what you may feel should be a rule because you don't know these people, may not be an issue after you meet. There have been several couples that my wife and I have felt less restrictive about after meeting them.

This is how we feel and something we always keep in mind. Our rules totally depends on our comfort level with the other couple. And that's great, that's how we want it. We want to enjoy and be so comfortable with another couple that we can let go of some of the limitations and just have a good time and go with the flow.

[lonesomedove341]

We have a few..One is Safe Sex..Always use Condoms no matter what..No Anal...And we only swing with couples togather. Same Room only...I will not meet couples on my own hubby has to be there..And No means No..If one doesnt want then the other doesnt either.

[txduo2000]

Well … we have a few rules (one I just learned about ):

1. No anal with others (this was the one I just learned about … hubby is very adamant that no one goes “there” but him)

2. No separate room swap – we are in this together, to be together and share everything together

3. Initial contact with single men must be between the men, with couples, it doesn’t really matter if I or he talks with the woman, but the males must communicate early on in the game. This one is fairly new because we have had problems with posers and liars and men of couples who are just trying to notch their bedposts with every other man’s wife.

4. Safe sex … unless we are very comfortable with the other party and feel secure in their honesty about their “cleanliness”

5. Open and honest communication

6. No one "takes one for the team" - If we don't agree, or if one is not comfortable in a situation, it's called off.