Do hard-swing couples ever soft-swing?

Another question from a (sometimes over-enthusiastic) newbie.

Do experienced couples ever soft-swing with new couples who they happen to have an affinity for? When I first considered asking this question the answer seemed obvious, “Of course not! That would be like a married couple enjoying making out without actually “doing it” like they did when they were teenagers.” Then it occurred to me: My wife and I very much like to hug and kiss and hold hands and sometimes even “make out” in the car.

[PA_RACERS]

You ask good questions. We are what you would call hard swingers. And yes we would soft swing/swap with a new couple. We just look at it this way.... we can always have intercourse with our partners to end the evening. We also enjoy a good "make out" session on the couch or in the car. I think it keeps things fresh and exciting. Not to mention makes for better sex later...lol

[frisson]

Speaking for ourselves--sure.

When we play, we don't have any specific objectives. We just hope to create a warm erotic experience that leaves everyone feeling happy and satisfied. On a given night, if that means a little foolin' around and finishing with each other, then that's what it means.

There is more to sex than penetration, and pleasure is where you find it.

We have found that really experienced couples are less likely to have a lot of rigid and arbitrary rules about what they will or will not do. They do not measure their fun on a scorecard of who does what to whom.

<small>[ 06-05-2002, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: frisson ]</small>

[MagicEnigma]

Can somebody clearify on what the meaning of hard and soft swingers are? I'm not sure I have the right idea in my mind.

[JustAskJulie]

Hard really isn't hte correct term. Full-swap is the correct term which pretty much defines itself.

Soft-swinging involves anything but full-swap (for sexual intercourse), and can even include simply same room sex while being watched by another couple.

[Brian and Jo]

From time to time when we have been with a new couple we have done some soft swinging - touching each other, group masturbation, same room sex with our own partners, things like that. If that is what makes the new couple comfortable we are happy to go along with it. We have found that once they have experienced and become comfortable with sharing a sexual experience with us they have been more than happy to progress to the next stage of swapping partners for oral sex and intercourse.

[BedroomAccess]

If you are in the lifestyle - that means that you are horny enough to try it. Once you are horny enough to try it - I don't see how you can stop in the middle of a heated moment.

Also, we don't see any fun in setting any limits - if it feels right you should go for it all the way. It most of the time it feels right :-))))

[Dukedoll]

I will put my two cents in here on two topics. One , yes, EXPRIENCED couples will do whatever is necessary to make the other couple feel comfortable IF the experienced couple is concerned with the other couples feelings and not out for themselves. And you will run across Both types, those who care and those who dont. As for how could one stop in the heat of a passionate moment? Thats what seperates People from Dogs. We have ,or should have enough will power and self control to handle the situation. If not , we dont need to be there. If I decide to slow down or stop at any point in a situation and my partner doesnt or tries to force me to continue, He is in for one Hell of a suprise. Not to mention that he has just blown ANY chance of ever being with me again. All limits should be respected, NO MATTER WHAT.

<small>[ August 31, 2002, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: Dukedoll ]</small>

[HARLEY &LEXI]

LISTEN....IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE A HARD OR A SOFT SWINGER BECAUSE ONE ENCOUNTER COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE HARD SWINGERS, BUT MET AN "ORAL ONLY" COUPLE THAT WE REALLY LIKED. IT WAS JUST FINE WITH US TO DO WHAT WAS COMFORTABLE FOR THEM. "NEVER SAY NEVER" <img border="0" alt="[Kissing]" title="" src="graemlins/kissing.gif" />

[sportync]

I think the thing to remember here is the "rule" that says you should progress at the level of comfort of the slowest one in the room. It is, after all, a group experience and one which should be pleasurable to all parties envolved. If only ONE person there is comfortable with just touching or even looking, then that's where it should go. If that person seems ready to go further, then they should make a move in that direction and the others may follow. I know in the real world, things don't always operate like they do in fantasies(where you can control everything), but if you care enough to get naked with these people in the first place, why take a chance on blowing(no pun intended) a good time and perhaps ruining any future opportunities to get together whith these people for some more fun? I think it's really all about respect. If that isn't there, then you shouldn't be there. Sportync

[Handyman69]

We are new to this lifestyle and have been in both situations...full and soft swap. Think everything depends on the people involved and whether comfortable with each other. As stated by another, respect is needed. You don't want to blow off a potential friendship because of moving too fast. We are currently rebuilding one due to moving too fast. Take your time and make sure everyone is comfortable with were you are going to head. May mean the friendship only stays on a platonic level but as least everyone will be on the same wavelength and happy.

Mrs. Handyman <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

[playmatesinpgh]

We have never been with a couple that has only wanted to soft swap but would certainly soft swap if that is all they wanted to do.

[Pepper & Drew]

We'd play with a soft swap only couple...in fact, our favorite playmates were soft swap only when we first met. As they became more comfortable, it eventually went full. But, I think if it stayed soft swap only, we'd eventually end up wanting more.

Pepper

[HotMoCpl]

Hey, we like the necking and fondling and I often manage to pat her butt in public when nobodys sees us. But....it will eventually lead to sex.

[SoulmatesNky]

I agree with Pepper.

Eventually, Ms. Soul and I would want to progress farther because it is part of the enjoyment for us. For the most part, we have always been a full swap couple, so only have limited experience in this situation. We have had soft-swap encounters and really enjoyed them and would gladly repeat if we found a couple that we clicked with. But I know that as the fun progressed and the attraction grew... the encounters would become more and more about what we did not do. This is not saying that we would disrespect the boundaries and control ourselves, but we both would probably find it frustrating over the long haul since full swap is what we typically do.

We had a swinging couple that we hung out with which would be case in point. The lady of the couple was totally kewl, but the guy wasn't our cup of tea. They were local so we would hang out a lot. But they kept wanting more even though I quite clearly verbalized that we were not interested in anything more than just hanging out... they eventually got frustrated and withdrew. It wasn't easy for us either... we constantly felt their 'pull' towards coupling.

Now we will use soft-swap activities with couples we do not know very well, but the chemistry is right. We do so mostly because we like to stroke the fire, check them out sexually for a good fit, and delay until we are more comfortable around them.