Doing something they clearly are not into...How common is this?

[Coupleerotic22]

We never watch too much TV. But we rented the first season of Nip/Tuck and have been watching it. We never watched it when it was an active series.

The episode we watched last night was LS oriented. Threesomes with the teenage son and his girl friends, and a swingers party called "The Scene".

On of the main characters, Dr, Troy, took his "girl friend" of the week. To a swingers party. She protested, but went. While there, he manipulated her into a G/G play. Clearly, at first she did not want anything to do with it. Then it looked like she got into it. When she was done, she said "I have done everything you wanted" in pleading voice, clearly she was just trying to please him.

It was wrenching for both of us to watch this poor girls attempts to please her mate. We have never seen anything like it in person, thank goodness. But we talked and neither of us could imagine asking the other to do something they clearly are not into.

How common do you think this is? We know it happens, we just hope it is rare.

[VegasLee]

I think this is more common then many think.

We have had a long running poll going on one of our web sites that ask the question: "Ladies, are you truly bi?"

The answers of "I am bi to keep my spouse happy" and "I am bi to fit into the lifestyle" are 42% of the responses.

This poll has been running for three years now so I believe we are getting a pretty accurate finding there.

Seems there are many women doing things to keep "others" happy then are being true to their self in this Lifestyle.

[ClosetSwinger]

I am going to try and find it on hulu.com and watch it. Will post link here if I find it so others can watch.

[bi4me2]

Can't begin to tell you how many times we have heard of situations just like that in real life. We were just talking to a woman a few months back that went through it with a couple she had played with for over a year. Somehow she found out the wife had been threatened with divorce if she didn't go along with it .... obviously an abusive relationship but the woman we were talking to was devastated by the news because she had also become friends with the other woman.

Sucks that it happens but it does, and probably more than we know about.

[Coupleerotic22]

It was Season 1 Episode 7 - "Cliff Mantegna".

It is not available on Hulu. But Netflix has it for streaming as well as DVD.

And it was more than just she did not want to do G/G, she did not want to do anything in the lifestyle in general. But she did anything the guy asked to try to please him, even if she hated they idea. To me that is what is sad about it.

I would hate to think I slept with a women in her shoes. It is sobering.

[synergy]

I'm wondering if the episode you saw is the same one I saw? This was a few years ago, but I think I saw one where there was a swinger's party run by a single man. The single man told Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy about it during a consultation, but then Dr. McNamara took his brunette girlfriend to the party. and I think she was more into it than he was. Could it be there were two separate episodes on the series that were LS oriented?

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by synergy

I'm wondering if the episode you saw is the same one I saw? This was a few years ago, but I think I saw one where there was a swinger's party run by a single man. The single man told Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy about it during a consultation, but then Dr. McNamara took his brunette girlfriend to the party. and I think she was more into it than he was. Could it be there were two separate episodes on the series that were LS oriented?

Definitely different episode if it was the same series. Troy is definitely into it. his girl friend, a blond, is not.

We never watched the show when it was being aired, but are now watching it on DVD and are only in season 1 (2003). So they easily could have rehashed the swinger story line with a different twist.

[knb2004]

We've run into people like that in the real world, but fortunately it's been rare, and they're generally easy to spot. Like glowing, flashing, neon sigh easy.

[LFM2]

Like Lee said, I think it's more common than people really know. We get plenty of questions in here as to "How can I make my wife ______" or "How can I get my husband to _________". I think a lot of this is corresponds to fantasy. They want to see their partner is a certain roll and that partner wants nothing to do with it.

One thing I've never understood is why in the world would you want to push your partner into something they're not comfortable with? I have just never gotten that frame of mind.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by LFM2

One thing I've never understood is why in the world would you want to push your partner into something they're not comfortable with? I have just never gotten that frame of mind.

I agree. I have run into women that I thought were shy or had confidence issues. Looking back I wonder if it was not something more.

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by LFM2

One thing I've never understood is why in the world would you want to push your partner into something they're not comfortable with? I have just never gotten that frame of mind.

I hate to say there are a lot of selfish, uncaring, people in this world and many of them really don't care what they do to others, even their spouses.

I am assuming that is why the divorce rate in this country is so high along with spousal abuse charges.

[bi4me2]

(her) We ran into this situation yesterday at dinner. We met up with what we thought was a nice couple that wanted to play. Through conversation she came out with some very telling comments. That she needs a few drinks before anything can happen and that she never drank until they started in the LS. Subtle comments but very telling as to her feelings about it.

He was obviously more then eager, pushy to the point that I had to dismiss him (held up a finger, that give me a moment thing) so that she could finish a sentence.

[Trace Ekies]

We met a couple some months ago that had been dating for a short time...he's the pushy salesman type but funny and friendly and she's the curt, "I don't need no man to help me type".

But interestingly, I found that she was doing what he wanted. Like Mrs. Bi4me2 said, small comments and body language added together tells alot.

We had two dates...one for lunch to meet and check chemistry and a second for play...it wasn't until mid-way thru actually playing that it all came together for me...it was a look on her face when it came time for intercourse that tied the 3 or 4 comments together...she wasn't ready.

I pulled back (not out...I wasn't in) and said we'll get to it later...when she wants to.

The look of relief on her face was a real pleasure to me...

To quote Coupleerotic22, "It is sobering"...and it crosses my mind time and again while on dates and after...I'd hate to think I slept with a woman who was doing it to please her SO.

Trace

[bi4me2]

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

I'd hate to think I slept with a woman who was doing it to please her SO.

(him) Boy can I relate to that comment ..... would sicken me to find something like that out after the fact.

[ClosetSwinger]

I watched the episode yesterday on Netflix AND WOW...it was pretty hard to watch...I agree.

It was obvious she did not want to do the girl girl thing and it was a while before she got into it. Then when she did the a-hole ended up walking out because he thought he saw his friends wife. WHAT A JERK.

We shy away from those who seem the least bit like this. I am NOT into playing with anyone that is not into it. I get nothing out of it then. Typically when meeting new couples one of my first questions is how they got into the lifestyle. Usually that will give you a gauge of if one or the other was pushed into it.

One couple we met told us that the female had cheated and the man found out. When he found out, they came up with the idea to become swingers that way both of them could have sex with other people. *blink* *blink* WHAT THE F*CK? Needless to say they lasted all of six months and they have since split. No surprise there.