Enjoying watching your spouse with others

[Coupleerotic22]

Reading another post the other day got me thinking.

The argument is often made that from an evolutionary stand point monogamy is not natural. That we are genetically predisposed to have sex with as many mates as possible in order to guarantee our continued existence.

So what is it in us, genetically, that makes us enjoy watching our spouse with someone else so much. If the above is true, we would want to keep all the best specimens to ourselves to make sure our seed was planted.

Maybe it is a stupid question, it was just on my mind. Any thoughts?

Very interesting question.


1. I'm one who gets off on my spouse getting off. When a third is involved, there is a very slight tension (1%) about being abandoned, but the "I'm happy you're happy" feeling floods everything. So does having a happy spouse enhance my kid's survival?


2. The idea that I might be cuckolded with another's child never got to me. Now we've both been sterile for years, so this idea never rears its head now days.

I've been trying to think back to my first wife (who depended on BC when playing) and I don't think I was ever bothered by the cuckold child possibility. My feelings/fears would have revolved around her getting pregnant via BC failure regardless of who the father might be.

[Pleasure King]

It's just a very primal urge in me to see and hear her in the throes of hot and steamy sex with another man. Hearing her scream, "Oh god please cum inside me!" touches something very deep within me. It's as if I'm inside her at the same time.

The cuckold thing to me falls under the category of some things are meant to be only fantasies.

[serenandsol]

I like being attached to an attractive mate, so other women wanting him turns me on. I think what started out as an evolutionary thing (wanting procreate with as many as possible) has turned into an attraction thing.

[Stevef8]

Originally Posted by Pleasure King

It's just a very primal urge in me to see and hear her in the throes of hot and steamy sex with another man. Hearing her scream, "Oh god please cum inside me!" touches something very deep within me. It's as if I'm inside her at the same time.

The cuckold thing to me falls under the category of some things are meant to be only fantasies.

Well said....

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by rdy46227

Very interesting question.


1. I'm one who gets off on my spouse getting off. When a third is involved, there is a very slight tension (1%) about being abandoned, but the "I'm happy you're happy" feeling floods everything....

Originally Posted by Pleasure King

It's just a very primal urge in me to see and hear her in the throes of hot and steamy sex with another man. Hearing her scream, "Oh god please cum inside me!" touches something very deep within me. It's as if I'm inside her at the same time...

I dont get behind the cockhold thing, for me watching her getting off, and ENJOYING herself is key

Just as she has found it erotic to watch me and another from the other bed, its two fold as I stated above watching your loved one enjoy themselves But also, its very erotic. Knowing that the skills I use, or she does to get off a friend that we are playing with..

But as far as the question involving survival of the species. Who Knows..

Enjoy Yourself, find pleasure where you can.

[Alura]

If a variety of partners is Mother Earth and Father Sky's way of insuring the survival of the species, you can bet your sweet ass it's no longer necessary. In fact, we've survived so well we may be on our way to destroying ourselves and all other species as well.

I think we enjoy seeing our mates fucking someone else because it's deliciously naughty and provides a special thrill.

Alura

[cocpl2007]

When we are engaged with each other, all conscious thought is dispersed between what I'm doing to her, what she is doing to me, and what we are doing together. I'm consumed with getting her off, she is along the path to that endeavor and very much savoring the whole process. When I'm afforded the opportunity to watch her, it is a combination of viewing her getting sexually excited when I'm not the one doing it, and observing another's technique in sexual play. She is very vocal, so hearing all the sounds lets me know just where she is in the different stages of erotic fulfillment, and not being the one generating her reactions is something quite unique and enjoyable.

Having said that, in a soft swing situation, we also very much enjoy being observers when the other couple is enjoying each other fully.

What is it that drives a married couple to engage in sexual play, with others... I really don't have an answer, in my view those of us in the lifestyle share our sexuality at a very different level. I've been chastised previously to equating the two, but chastise away, those in the lifestyle sure experience their own sexuality at a much, much different level than non-lifestyle couples.

[sweet_tna]

I don't think the enjoyment of seeing one's spouse has a damn thing to do with evolution/survival of the species.

Truth be told, I've never been much of a voyeur anyway. I'd much rather be doing than watching, and when I am doing, I'm usually too busy focusing on my playmate(s) to have more than a peripheral awareness of my hubby. If I pay any more attention to him than that, I get distrac . . . Oooh squirrel!!

=)

[VANudistcpl]

I enjoy watching Ms Nudistcpl because I know what her partner is getting and receiving and seeing her in the throws of sex not to mention when she cums is one of the biggest turn ons for me.

[enbloc]

Very interesting question. The bottom line is that there isn't just one answer, nor right or wrong answer. We are complex organisms and no one rule applies to everyone. If we talk about "genetic predisposition" towards survival and reproduction then much of what people do just doesn't make much sense.

Sorry for the lecture but the biology/science teacher in me is coming out. LOL.

I had a big argument with a co-worker who based the "mortal sin" of homosexuality because it doesn't lead to procreation.... I lost my temper and said he was a sinner too and would go to hell if his wife ever gave him a blow-job cuz it doesn't lead to procreation either.... sorry didn't mean to offend anyone.

We are organisms that are basically driven to seek (philic-attracted to) pleasure, comfort, security, warmth, etc etc... the good stuff. While at the same time repelled (phobic) by pain, fear, danger, bad smells... the bad stuff. So if there is a crossing of the two, each person's brain needs to decide which stimuli is stronger and that is what it goes with.

Ie parachuting. Why would you risk death and injury for a moment of pure excitment? For some it is because the pleasure from the adrenaline rush or cheating death is stronger than the fear from injury and death... totally against "genetic predispotion" but it is what it is.

I think (generally speaking) men have the predisposition to mate as often as possible with as many women as possible. Women on the other hand are predispositioned to be as selective as possible. In most herding animals the decision as to who gets to mate mate is simple, the alpha male (in some only the alpha male only mates with the alpha female).

The other factor we need to consider is that we are thinking beings and have "evolved" to the point where our decisions don't always have to make sense towards survival but many do make sense in terms of attaining pleasure and gratification. So without the need for reproduction, a woman can focus on pleasure... more partners, and more shoes.... LOL

So why to you like to watch your mate having sex with other men? Maybe it is just because it is erotic and the intensity of the moment brings you physical pleasure. Maybe it is the emotional pleasure from knowing your mate is being pleased and you are happy for that. Either way enjoy it if it pleases you.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

when I am doing, I'm usually too busy focusing on my playmate(s) to have more than a peripheral awareness of my hubby. If I pay any more attention to him than that, I get distrac . . . Oooh squirrel!!

=)

Hahahaha!! Love it!

[willyoats]

We had a so-so sex life when first married. That evolved into a pretty good one by the time we started swinging. Nevertheless, I think I was trying to give her the opportunity to make up of some of the excitement and passion that was denied to her in the beginning. I certainly was making up for the nagging feeling that I had missed some excitement with with other women.

Watching her in full bloom with another guy was a turn on in part because I thought she was enjoying having sex in a way that we couldn't do just by ourselves. The other part of it was always a bit of "eat your heart out. This beautiful woman is going home with ME! She is going to screw me a thousand times, but you, you poor schmuck, get her only once or twice"

Peripherally, while watching her, I was usually thinking, at least a little, about how good it was going to feel when I could slip into her after some other guy had been there first.

[dr_pepper]

Originally Posted by Alura

I think we enjoy seeing our mates fucking someone else because it's deliciously naughty and provides a special thrill.

Alura

Right on!!

[dr_pepper]

Back in the days before copy machines, reports had to be photostated, an involved business. In the Air Force, as a photographer, I photostated many reports of cases where a guy would bring home another guy to fuck his wife, while he watched. I am sure that there were many more that never were reported or found out (this was considered a security issue). This was in Japan in the 60's.