Family in the lifestyle

[grabbyzz]

Just became a friend on FB of one of my cousins that I very rarely see or talk too. While looking over her profile, under marital status she has "In an open relationship"...that got me thinking, should I email her and ask if her open relationship is the same as mine? It really came as a surprise to me being that her and her hubby are so religious.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by grabbyzz

...that got me thinking, should I email her and ask if her open relationship is the same as mine?

I wouldn't phrase it like that if you asked her. She could have tagged that as her status by accident, thus you'd be outing yourself over her mistake.
I would send something along the lines of "Tell me about your Open Relationship status". By doing it that way, you're not giving up any information before you're willing to.

It really came as a surprise to me being that her and her hubby are so religious.

We know a couple that are active swingers that are also Sunday School teachers. We know another couple where one is a deacon in their church. While somewhat unusual, it's definitely not unheard of. Many couples are able to separate the two.

[SecretAsianMan]

Yeah... wouldn't just come right out & ask "Hey, do y'all mean you're swingers?!"

But an email simply asking, "Open relationship?" ...and let them divulge as much (or as little as they feel they'd like to)

I had a friend & his wife who's got their relationship status listed as "It's Complicated" -- which is usually a buzz-word for an "open relationship" without coming right out & saying it. They simply replied... "Yup, it's complicated"

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

I had a friend & his wife who's got their relationship status listed as "It's Complicated" -- which is usually a buzz-word for an "open relationship" without coming right out & saying it.

Interesting. Around these parts when someone has their status as "It's Complicated", a few months later their status changes to "Single".


Guess that's another reason to ask!

[fun4Ds]

Tell her you miss her and think about her from time to time, and your glad you have a chance to stay more in touch now.

Go with the flow....

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Interesting. Around these parts when someone has their status as "It's Complicated", a few months later their status changes to "Single".


Guess that's another reason to ask!

I think "It's Complicated" was the default relationship status message for my friends who were polyamorous, swingers, or some other non-traditional relationship status (at least among my friends) prior to Facebook including "Open Relationship" as an option.

I've also seen "It's Complicated" used when relationships start to come apart as well... as in, they're legally still married but they're no longer emotionally together.

"It's Complicated" is an interesting catch-all phrase ... I've seen some folks just use it to mean any number of different things!

[ClosetSwinger]

Yeh I have also seen people use "it's complicated" for their relationship status when they are in a poly/swinging or open relationship.

I wouldnt come right out and ask HEY ARE YOU A SWINGER either but I do think I'd be like what does "open relationship" mean. Hopefully that will open the lines of communication.

[GoNatural]

I'd say, "hey, my wife and I are have a non-traditional relationship, what does being in an open relationship mean to you".

I think that outing yourself in a non-pushy way will make it more comfortable for her to open up and tell the truth about her relationship.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Interesting. Around these parts when someone has their status as "It's Complicated", a few months later their status changes to "Single".


Guess that's another reason to ask!

Ditto here... or we had one set of friends who had that but it was because she was still married to her husband while dating another guy (and no it wasn't an open relationship).