Contact before M&G then not remembering the email?

[exploringRM]

Wife and I had an odd thing happen the other night. We goto a monthly M&G at a local club (not a swing club). We received an email from a couple (well the male half) asking for us to say hi if we see them. I had seen them there at the M&G before and I just don't feel we'd be compatible sexually. The wife agrees. They were nice just no spark there I don't think.

It took a bit before both my wife and I were at a point where we could say hi (both a the same spot where we saw them). When I introduced ourselves he had no clue who we were and could not recall his email that he sent. I mentioned our screen name and described our main profile picture. There was just no recollection. It was quite awkward and turned us off. That evening I assume he checked his mail and added us to his wish list (that site has that and you can choose to notify the wishee). We also received a "hi" on Swing Lifestyle today (after the event).

I'm sort of at loss as to how to respond. I don't want to be rude, and there has not been any suggestion of getting together, but I sort of feel like he was trolling for a number of people. I may not remember names, but I recall who I email or who emails me.

[Fundamental Law]

If it feels funny, it is.

"No thank you" is not being rude. Sometimes, it's being prudent.

[ALilOEverything]

I think some people go through the whole list and send out mass messages making it harder for them to keep track of people. That turns me off too. I don't remember the list very well but most of the time I don't send out emails (only to reply).

[fun4Ds]

Did you just see "him" and he couldnt recall at the M&G, or was his wife at a loss also ?

You would think I would remember potential playmates I had contacted, but the truth is sometimes I cant recall screen names, real names or pictures. Especially when there is 20-30 attendees listed in the group attendance and then 50 to 60 couples show up at the party.

Mrsfun however usually points out many people from Swing Lifestyle before I actually say hello at a M&G. She has a far better recollection than me is all. She is the one who nods her head in a direction and says "that's so and so" and usually can give a few details from their profile, just from picture recollection.

Its kind of like Alzheimer's for me... but its not. I just get confused as to who is who from the INTERNET profiles, to a real meet. Not a solo meet with one couple for dinner or a drink (that would be different) There are just so many screen names and pictures spinning around in my head sometimes. Especially trying to sort out weswing2 from twowhoswing and then comes along swing2179 sitting beside 2foryou and want2swing2.

I mean all they said was stop and say hello, then you did. If it had been a chat or some form of mutual attraction we had previously discussed I would be a bit more clear about someones screen name or have a better recollection. But if I sent out a few "stop and say hello's" Thats what it would be for, just a hello and lets see if there is attraction. And yes, If I couldn't recall someone it would bother me and I would be checking their profile again later.

How many people were there ?


fun4ds ....hoping it wasn't me you said hello to

[exploringRM]

@Fun4ds...yes it was you!!!

The email stated they had interest in us and specifically wanted to meet. I can understand having a momentary lapse, but I generally bring a list of people that have contacted me or I've contacted so at least have a cheat sheet.

As an update, he did send a follow up email apologizing, but just no interest on our part.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- I have an obscenely good memory system. It's a blessing and a curse. What I am often surprised by is the lack of memory that most people have. Conversations that I recall word for word, are absent in their minds. Events that I can picture, as if they were yesterday, simply do not exist in a friends memory. When I was in my early 20's I actually got tested to be certain my mind was not creating 'false memories'. It wasn't.

Now, that being said, people who do not recall things well, have a consistent, not always, yet mostly, personality trait in my experience. They are insincere. Nothing said or communicated has any actual value, so it never registers in their long term memory. It's just 'armchair research' on my part, medical considerations aside.

[PB&J]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Susan here-- I have an obscenely good memory system. It's a blessing and a curse.

I have to refrain from specifying the dates of meet-ups two years in the past; don't want to freak out our friends so that they think I'm stalker-y. I just have a really really good memory for stuff like that.

[exploringRM]

Now maybe I understand little more. I re-read the 2nd email after the event; the mail he sent came in a few days before the M&G and I didn't respond. I was busy much of the week and never had time to sit down and work on things. But it was an email that really did not ask for a response, just come and say hi. He probably wrote us off..so perhaps more of a reason for the lapse in memory?

[Edison Carter]

As always, if something does not make sense, you're missing a key piece of information.

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

As always, if something does not make sense, you're missing a key piece of information.

The perils of online communcation..too much missing...too many assumptions, etc.