How to find a single lady for a threesome???

[techchick]

Hi- my hubby and I are new to swinging and have enjoyed some couple soft swap and same room fun. We are looking to complete a fantasy and have a threesome with a single lady. I have searched our swing lifestyle website, and craigslist-but not getting anywhere. Do you guys have any ideas on how to find someone for a threesome-that is clean and d/d free? We really want it to be a great experience--we are not unrealistic but want someone who is attractive and that is closer to our age (we are mid 20's). Please share thoughts, tips, etc.

[MsGoneWild]

single bi women are referred to as unicorns in the lifestyle, and for a good reason. They are SUPER hard to find.

What i would suggest, is finding couples you're comfortable with playing, and see if any of them play by themselves as well. This is what we've found works for us (my boyfriend and I). We haven't gotten an FMF, but we have had sort of mini FMF's in our foursomes (only a few of the women we know play solo).

That is really the only way we've had success with it. We've had a lot of success in MFM though and FMFM

[LFM2]

We were approached last week by a couple that just wanted me to play and not my husband. We said we'd meet and see how we got along. She is bi-curious. I am pretty much just bi. They haven't contacted us back, but then again, they might be scared to really meet. Some couples and singles are.

There is always a way. Of course my husband would have to be there. There isn't much I do without him in regards to swinging. But that is just one option.

There are many people here who are much more helpful than I am. I'm sure they'll chime in with ideas.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by LFM2

We were approached last week by a couple that just wanted me to play and not my husband.

Do you have it in your profile that you're open to that? I can't even imagine approaching a couple and suggesting that if I don't have an idea that they are open to it!

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by techchick

Hi- my hubby and I are new to swinging and have enjoyed some couple soft swap and same room fun. We are looking to complete a fantasy and have a threesome with a single lady. I have searched our swing lifestyle website, and craigslist-but not getting anywhere. Do you guys have any ideas on how to find someone for a threesome-that is clean and d/d free? We really want it to be a great experience--we are not unrealistic but want someone who is attractive and that is closer to our age (we are mid 20's). Please share thoughts, tips, etc.

Your goal is not an easy one to achieve. But, as LFM2 said, there is always a way. You didn't say you're bi, so the ultimate unicorn doesn't exactly apply; single bi-female in the lifestyle. But, what you're looking for is still rare enough.

There are single women in the lifestyle. But, for every single woman in the lifestyle, there's probably at least 20-30 couples looking for a single female, and maybe as many as 100. So, not only are they rare, but what single women there are have many, many couples to choose from. They can afford to be very selective in what couples they choose to play with. They could reject 15 couples in one night and still go home sexually satisfied.

I'm not suggesting you should give up. Rather, understand the reality and respond to it; understand what a single woman is looking for in the lifestyle, figure out how the two of you can best match that need in abstract, and carve your profile(s) on site(s) to meet that as best you can. A half baked profile saying something short along the lines of "Looking for single women for threesomes, nsa, d/d free. Interested? Contact us!" isn't going to cut it. That would be akin to advertising a dream vacation to New Zealand with "Pricey plane ticket, island nation, it's winter here now that it's summer there. Interested? Book today!" Nobody would respond to it.

There's a sub-forum here dedicated to threads on finding single females. It's called The Elusive Single Female. Makes for good reading.

Best of luck in your search! Keep asking questions! We're here to help!

[Alura]

We always did our threesomes within our playcouples, taking turns for both MFM and FMF play. Sometimes a partner was away on business (or for other reasons couldn't be there). Sometimes the person not participating just watched, knowing his/her turn was coming soon.

A divorced lady did find her way into our spa once, which began a wonderful evening, but if we'd have relied on single people to make a threesome, we'd likely have experienced only one during our entire marriage.

Alura

[MapleCpl]

Try this. Go to a regular bar, but try to find one that has a reputation for Cougar ladies attending there.
Sometimes these very liberal middle aged women are quite horny and liberal, so you just might be in luck. Have your wife approach one that seems wild and carry on a conversation, drink and what not, take it from there and feel her out.
I (husband) sometimes go out to bars and pick up women, if I can detect that she has a bit of wild in her, then I flat out tell her of our lifestyle and ask her she would be open to play, I was able to get a couple of women do FMF's with us that way. We also got two female friends of my wife on separate occasions and another girl part of couple we played with to do a threesome with us, plus a co-worker I was banging and confessed to me that she was bisexual, so I told her my wife was too and I got to bring her home for the both of us.
So as you can see, we have had quite a bit of fun with single ladies. Not sure if in your city you have cougar bars, but in Toronto we have a few and are great for picking up horny women.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by slevin

Do you have it in your profile that you're open to that? I can't even imagine approaching a couple and suggesting that if I don't have an idea that they are open to it!

Kinda... I've been bad and haven't really read our profile in months. Maybe a year. Dave read it and we have in there stated that we do like to watch the other being pleased. I think that's where they might have gotten that idea, but we're very open to it.

[Newpants]

Here's something to think about. There are millions of single women throughout the country. They can be found in grocery stores, malls, fitness centers, librarys, community organizations, the work place, parks, tennis courts, swimming pools, churchs etc etc etc etc.

The one place that probably has the smallest number of single women per capita in the world is swinger websites, craigslist and swinger clubs and venues.

Most women just simply do not consider themselves swingers and do not see swinger venues as a viable place to interact with others. We know a few couples that play with a lot of single women and they look for them where they are and not where they are not.

[couplers]

Originally Posted by MapleCpl

We also got two female friends of my wife on separate occasions...

This is the approach I have successfully used. We're not really into "cougars," and I like the sense of control I have in screeing a woman for my husband. That way I feel comfortable she understands what the situation is, that her expectations are aligned, and it will be fun for all. The process of working up to it is half the fun, like the three of us dating: slow and patient with the sexual tension building. When the overture is made, it is always her that makes it; we always just accommodate. The large majority of these approaches don't end up with sex, but no one has ever been hurt, not even hurt feelings. We have paid for more than a few women to join us for vacation where it went nowhere sexually, except in our fantasies. But lots of vanilla fun and absolutely no regrets. Of the many women we have "dated" as a couple and the few that have become sex partners for David, all have remained friends.


One difference with your situation, however, is that our goal was always a regular piece on the side for hubby, not an FMF. But despite me not previously having lezzie tendancies, the current woman has ended up as my lover as well.


Be patient, enjoy the pursuit, and good luck.