Are we normal?

[UKLibertines]

A big hi to everyone, we are new to the board but have been swinging for about a year (we talk and talked and talked some more for six months). We have been happily married for 4 years and together for almost 7 years. I have to say this first, we have always had a great sex life and I know my wife very well and what a free spirit she is. So when I originally suggested swinging/bringing a third into the bedroom I knew she would be interested (especially as I suggested it in the heat of passion LOL). After all the talking was done (outside of the bedroom) we had our first MFM threesome about six months ago....and it was awesome! Lady libertine loved the attention and has been more confident and sexually confident since our first experience. I too have enjoyed the attention and we have talked about how it has brought us closer by being totally free and able to talk about anything without fear/embarrassment or whatever. We had quite a few experiences in the first few months (we are fairly young 30/28) I put this down to excitement and an enjoyment of something new, and we have built up a good close group of friends. So much so we have been invited to a few parties, in the beginning we turned the invites down (nervous/slightly not ready for them). Anyway about six weeks ago we went to the first one and loved it, Lady Libertine really loved the atmosphere as did I and because of this she was my little tigress and I was floating. We were again invited to a party that one of our lifestyle friends was organising; she said it would be big and for the more open swinger basically quite hardcore. Anyway we discussed this and were very happy to go (we have a lot of mutual fantasies that we wanted to explore).
A long story short we had a great time played in a three couple group, mfm, later we had a mfmf. However part of our relaxation of the rules meant freedom to wonder and explore (with protection and safety). By the end of the night finished about 330 Lady Libertine said she had a wonderful time, played with 2 other guys as well, total of 7 guys not including me over the whole night. I am not a cuck or anything like that, but I am totally happy for Lady Libertine to have as much fun as she likes, so I hung out with a couple of friends and talked and watched some of the action in the living room (I did check on lady libertine). I am in a way proud that after my suggestion she has embraced this so much. We talked about it and Lady Libertine says she enjoys the multiple men side of things, which I am happy with because I find it sexy that she is enjoying herself sexually, also I can’t explain but there is something hot about women who know what they want and go and get it. I guess I also feel liberated from the fact that I am not jealous or possessive, which society normally would suggest I should feel in this situation. We talked and laughed about the night and her social butterfly tendencies, I thought I was doing well with three including Lady Libertine LOL. I have to say I wish probably like most men wish I had that sort of capacity, although I do think I can ladies on any request.
Anyway Lady Libertine and I just wanted to say Hi. Lady Libertine and I have discussed the amount of people we have slept with since the party scene started. We think although not enormous amounts it is because it is a new feeling, like losing our virginity again. Before the swinging we slept with about 15-20 people each, now Lady Libertine has more than doubled her count and I have slept with 6 other ladies (I have to stress all protected). My question is, is this normal? Thanks for your advice and everything and happy swinging.

xxx

[Newpants]

No you are not normal. You are a pair of sick, twisted, sicko-pervs and you are going to ruin your marriage, be stricken with a multitude of horrible diseases, you will lose all your friends, lose your jobs, be outcast from your church and community and your souls will rot in hell for eternity.

There I said it. That's what society has been telling from day one what will happen if you enjoy sex with anyone other than your spouse. So do you feel better now that is out of the way?

To the normal, polite, general public you are not normal. To other swingers, well lets just say, WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

In many ways I think the swinging community has pretty much lost all sense of "normal" and there really is no "normal." As long as it is safe, responsible and consensual between sane sober consenting adults and as long as you are coming away feeling good about yourself, your partner and your relationship, then it works and it's all good.

[lizandtom]

UK, sounds like you two were made for the lifestyle. Glad you guys can enjoy it without jealousies and drama.

As far as 'normal' goes regarding quantity of partners, we've found swingers that have had like 4 encounters in the 12 years they've been swinging which we believe, in most cases, that they are so selective they never play, or the lifestyle is filling a social hole so they can boast that they're a part of it.

On the other end of the spectrum you have bed notchers where the goal is the most people in the least amount of time, with the exception of those who really just love lots of partners, and aren't doing it for bragging rights.

Most people fall somewhere in the middle. I think we're somewhere around 60+ different people each over 6 years, although way more encounters than that because we have friends that we get together with often too.

[DigginIt]

Is the question about her count being so much higher than yours being normal in the lifestyle? If you are going to play separate then I'd say that is very normal as it is just much easier for women in the lifestyle to get invited to play. As you two get to know more people, who know you two as a couple, then you might find yourself invited to more and more encounters and will close the gap. A lot will depend on how outgoing you are.

The best part is that you are both supportive of each other and loving and you do sound like you two are perfect for the lifestyle.

Welcome to the boards!

[SecretAsianMan]

What's "normal" nowadays anyway??

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by UKLibertines

My question is, is this normal?

After review by the Supreme Normalcy Review Board, it has been determined that you are in fact in violation of several articles of the Declaration of Normalcy Requirements, as revised 1997. Specifically, you are in violation of

• Article 3, having a good time
• Article 5, having fun after you are married
• Article 7, having fun while your wife is having fun
• Article 9, subsection C, questioning if you are normal

Please turn in your Normal Citizen Identification Card at your local Normalcy Office.

Signed,
- Grand Poohba of the Ministry of Silly Walks

PS: OMFG YOU ARE HAVING FUN!?!?!?!?!?

Yes, very non-normal indeed.

[UKLibertines]

LOL. Thanks for the welcome! I guess I was asking is it normal to go 100 miles an hour when you first start out. Also I guess it is only natural for Lady Libertine to have a higher count so to speak(not that we are bed notchers or anything like that). We love the lifestyle and particularly the party scene as discussed in other threads, we don't have to worry about the dreaded 4 way match. Anyway Mrs L says hello and thank you for the welcome (she is watching the Spain game). Happy swinging.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by UKLibertines

My question is, is this normal?

We find it quite normal.....


to the Swingers Board, UKLibertines......ya pervs





fun4ds

[Tia Vampire]

If you obey the law and the government, you are normal. So, guess we are normal. Besides, everyone is doing it. Some are just more honest and open about it than others.

[celtic239]

One of the many things I admire about swingers (in this case couples) is that the are "normal" in so many ways and yet bold enough to "break the mold" when it comes to being non-possessive of their partner and willing to engage in sexual activities that will bring fun and happiness into their lives.

[lizandtom]

Interesting, in reading all the previous replies; what is a definition of normal regarding a relationship nowadays?

If you go with the majority, normal would indicate that getting married, keeping thoughts and secrets from your mate, having sex behind their back to fulfill voids, and then divorcing is normal. Isn't the divorce rate upwards of 50% ?

So then I can extrapolate that communicating effectively, seeing eye to eye, coming to common resolutions, and being a team player in a relationship is abnormal.

The only common bond between normal and abnormal then is having extramarital sexual encounters. One is done with deceit, the other with full consent, respectively.

I choose abnormal and have 24 years of tried, tested and certified to back it up. As simplistic as this is, there have been studies done indicating that something like 78% (for example) of people in the lifestyle are happier than 'normal.'

We choose abnormal.

[couple4couple]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

After review by the Supreme Normalcy Review Board, it has been determined that you are in fact in violation of several articles of the Declaration of Normalcy Requirements, as revised 1997. Specifically, you are in violation of

• Article 3, having a good time
• Article 5, having fun after you are married
• Article 7, having fun while your wife is having fun
• Article 9, subsection C, questioning if you are normal

Please turn in your Normal Citizen Identification Card at your local Normalcy Office.

Signed,
- Grand Poohba of the Ministry of Silly Walks

PS: OMFG YOU ARE HAVING FUN!?!?!?!?!?

Yes, very non-normal indeed.

OMG!!!! Love your sense of sarcasm!

[Alura]

You are not normal. You are to be admired and envied. If everyone's marriage worked as well as y'all's, there would be no 50% divorce rate.

Alura

[realcplub2]

Lets ask first.. Since its plain you didnt have a problem or issue, where is the question coming from?

Normal, According to Who? the VANILLAS.. In their eyes? No

Normal according to us, Sure..

But as I explain to our kids when they have issues with questions like this..

Whos yard stick are you measuring with?

Throw the score card away, and enjoy.. so long as its OK in both your eye and hers..

Go with it

[JustAskJulie]

Outside of the lifestyle - yes you are abnormal. Within the lifestyle, you are pretty normal.

Not really sure what about what you described you are worried is abnormal (actually).