Have you ever used your swinger knowledge or skills in the vanilla world?

[Newpants]

I'm a little curious if any of you have put any of the knowledge and skills you have acquired while swinging and put it to good use in the vanilla world.

Recently a single male vanilla friend of mine broke up with a long term GF and is back on the vanilla dating market. He is in his mid-20s and is not a skirtchaser or womanizer at all and is looking for a nice a lady to get together with for a LTR or marriage. Recently he confided in me that he had a profile on a vanilla dating site so of course I asked to see it and offered any pointers that I could. Between my wife giving her opinions from a female point of view and me helping get to the meat of how to put up a profile, in a short period of time he had a nice profile with good pictures and a decent representation of what he was about and within a few days he had some good hits and even met a nice young lady for dinner the other night.


It has been fun but it also got me wondering how often people use their swinger skills in the vanilla world.

Have any of you done anything similar or used your skills in other ways? Have any of you been in the lifestyle and through death or divorce reentered the vanilla dating world using a new set of skills or knowledge that you may not have had prior to swinging?

Any experience in putting your swinger savy to work in the vanilla world?

[VegasLee]

I won't say I have used "swinger skills" in normal life but will say I have used my "relationship skills".

For some reason many people both in the Swinging world and regular world will come to us to talk about their relationships. Most of the time it is over the same things. Cheating, disrespect, not being open. You know, all the things we preach in the Lifestyle.

I don't know that Swinging has improved my relationship skills since I have pretty much been the way I am about things for my whole life. Outspoken, up front and will say what I have to say.

I also know that I can wrong about things. Something that most of us forget most of the time. It can be very hard to sit on the other side of an argument and see both sides when we are involved but that is something that must be done.

Laura and I don't tend to fight or argue. Betting it happens maybe once a year tops. We can talk to each other but see no reason to fight or argue in most cases. Serves no purpose in the long run.

We also have always had a stead fast rule. Splitting up is NOT AN OPTION! If you remember that part then you will ALWAYS work things out. Who would want to spend the rest of their life with someone they are pissed off at?

Also, as the male in this relationship I know, I can be right or I can be happy. I choose to be happy.

[erotichugs]

same here.. cant say its a skill learned as a swinger..
The best thing that lifestyles (and the mind set lifestyles brings into a marriage) as brought in our marriage is total trust and no jealousy... in the past few years our marriage has been put thru the ringer and we can truly say that it has been tested and tried out and has had the "baptism of fire"!..
and we are proud to say that we have passed with flying colors.. Our swinging lifestyle has eliminated ALL of the many reasons why most couples break up..

It has brought us closer than we could ever imagine :-) it has given us a very different and unique prospective on a lot more than just sex!

We do use this prospective in our daily lives on a daily basis.. not just where sex is concerened but in 1000s of other situations..

[BiloxiCouple]

All the time.

I read the book and apply the applicable points to my life. It works great.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by Newpants

. . . Any experience in putting your swinger savy to work in the vanilla world?

Yes. My ability for accurately identifying sincerity of intention has improved. To state it another way, I have become better at detecting bullshit.

[exploringRM]

First thing that came to mind was swinging super powers

I would say the main thing that has improved in my vanilla life from our experiences in swining is finding it easier to meet people at parties, talk to people, etc. I was not a wallfalower, used to talking to anyone, played in a band so not super shy. But I just find it comes much easier interacting with people.

I don't know if this is using a skill, but I am also more observant of other people. I've noticed women noticing me more. And also noticed women noticing my wife more.lol. Perhaps I'm better able to read people, observe them, etc.

[PB&J]

One of my sisters told me recently that I am the best of the family at socializing when we are in a situation where such skills are necessary- say, at a family funeral with a whole bunch of relatives one hardly ever sees. Go figure.

[Chicup]

I've been trying hard to figure out a way that having two fingers in two women using both hands at the same time would apply to the vanilla world.

I'm at a bit of a loss.

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I've been trying hard to figure out a way that having two fingers in two women using both hands at the same time would apply to the vanilla world.

I'm at a bit of a loss.

There might be some future McGyver opportunity where that dexterity will be of use.

[Newpants]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

I don't know if this is using a skill, but I am also more observant of other people. I've noticed women noticing me more. And also noticed women noticing my wife more.lol. Perhaps I'm better able to read people, observe them, etc.

Oh I agree with you 100% Back before we got into the lifestyle I was clueless if someone was checking me out or if women were checking out my wife (neither of us even knew there was such a thing as women checking out other women at the time)

I think in many ways reading people is a learned skill and in swinging you can get a real immersion and crashcourse in reading other people.

[lustylearning]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I've been trying hard to figure out a way that having two fingers in two women using both hands at the same time would apply to the vanilla world.

I'm at a bit of a loss.

Oh my... That is just too funny

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I've been trying hard to figure out a way that having two fingers in two women using both hands at the same time would apply to the vanilla world.

I'm at a bit of a loss.

Maybe running for political office?

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I've been trying hard to figure out a way that having two fingers in two women using both hands at the same time would apply to the vanilla world.

Read the story of Hans Brinker.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Read the story of Hans Brinker.

Oddly when I try to stick my fingers in dykes they get rather annoyed.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I've been trying hard to figure out a way that having two fingers in two women using both hands at the same time would apply to the vanilla world.

I'm at a bit of a loss.

That kind of dexterity is good for drumming...