Hubby only wants to watch me...anyone else experience this?

Hi,
WE have been married for 10 yrs now and started talking about the lifestyle few months back. Had several good and not so good discussions. I(wife) was reluctant initially but convinced my logical mind that we will be trying this to add to our existing so loving relationship. Also we went to an on-premise club which kinda added spark to this whole topic(we only watched, didn't play). Anyway to make story short, we have been with 2 cpls so far(soft first two times and full the next) Hubby didn't enjoy soft as much as sex is very mental to him and switching partners in between kinda threw him off. so we decided to try full swap. But this time(and also last two times) he at once felt that he enjoys it so much more to watch me with another man BUT Just doesn't feel the urge at all to play with the other woman. We are both baffled at this. This was an all time desire of his to experience different body types and see me enjoy sex completely. Both times it had been very attractive woman and his types that if he sees in public, he'll be drooling to say the least :-)
He feels that at that time he likes the kissing and touching part, but after that he just can not feel it. Afterwards, we both had such amazing connections between us, all he wants to have is enjoy with me. For sure he is not jealous at all as he completely enjoys watching me.
Anyone else had a similar experince or can sgare their thoughts on this?

[dodgechevy]

We have seen this only once before in our 5 years of being in the lifestyle. And the couple seemed to be just as happy as any one else, pretty much the husband was just soft swap, while she full swapped while he watched.

All in all, if you guys both enjoy and are comfortable with this situation more power to you!

Funny how the other way (husband swaps while wife doesn't) happens all too often.

[2lovers]

Hi
My husband feels the same way. He's rather sitting there watching me enjoy with another male , and who am I to complain

[suite91]

Count me as one who loves to watch his wife with another man.

I have no idea what about it is so captivating for me. All of my fantasies revolve around my wife being pleasured my someone.

I still enjoy my time with other women but if it were over tomorrow I wouldn't miss it.

[sexyannie]

This has been our situation for the last six years, and it has been working pretty well. I was a little surprised when my husband first started suggesting it, especially given his jealousy about previous cheating on my part (before we were married). If you are okay with it, and he is okay with it, I say enjoy it

annie

[TNT]

Sometimes our kinks are just that, our kinks. No need to try and understand them, just enjoy them.

One of Ted's biggest kinks is watching me with another man. It's one of the reasons that we mainly play with single men...well, that and one of my main kinks is I like two men at once . Although Ted enjoys playing with other women, and I enjoy watching him do so (not to mention I enjoy playing with them also), one of his main interests is me with another man, which just feeds my desire to indulge him in said kink.

You will find that as you venture more into swinging you'll find those things that just really does it for you and your spouse/SO. You can either spend your time trying to understand why, or you can spend your time indulging in them and having fun.

We decided a long time ago not to waste our time on trying to find enlightenment and understanding of those things we get off on and instead just to enjoy them.


Teresa

[JustNTerested]

If this needs to be moved to another thread, please feel free.

Let me reply with a story, if I may. I started talking to my wife about this lifestyle about 6 months ago. During this time, she thought all I wanted was a 3-some however, I told her that I wanted to watch her with another man and if I could join in, then that was icing on the cake. She had a hard time comprehending my feelings on this and started playing with the idea. A year ago, she had weight loss surgery and has done extremely well with it and she has also had some PS to boot. With this, she has become more comfortable with herself and her appearance which in turn, has made her a tiger in the bedroom. She finally agreed as I was somewhat pushy so she started putting feelers out. We have found a single male that we both know. She started playing by texting and calling and one thing has led to another. She wanted to have "one on one" time to get to know him and be comfortable with him and the idea in which I agreed. The other night, it happened. I told her that when he came over, I think I'd just watch. When he got here, she was dressed in some new lingerie and her high heels. She was ready. We agreed that I would stay in the bedroom while they got started and I would just walk in after giving them about 5 minutes. Well, I've always been a good keeper of time with my internal clock but 5 minutes went by in about 2 minutes. I had nothing on but my loose fitting shorts so I walk down the hall and my heart starts beating 200 beats a minute. I hear them kissing. God, was this a turn on and then I SEEN them. She already had his shirt off and there she was standing with her lingerie and heels on and he with just his shorts. She was really getting into the kissing as was he. I walked by them never taking my eyes off my wife. I sat down on the couch and just watched with no intentions of joining in. I just wanted to watch my wife enjoy this and hoping that he did as well since it was his first time being watched and being with a married woman. The kissing was intense and turned me on to no end. This went on for what seemed to be 30 minutes but in fact was only about 5 or 10. I had to go to the bathroom to pee but was only gone for a minute when I returned, she had him naked and on the couch and was performing oral sex on him. Oh my god was this freaking hot as hell. My wife was giving him pleasure right in front of my eyes. They went back and forth and after he got her outfit off, he went down on her as well then the intercourse. I could not believe I was watching my wife having sex with another man. At some point during this, she got up and come over to me and took my shorts off and started on me while he did her from behind. This went on for about another 30 minutes or so after we ended up in the bedroom. After he had finished inside her, I stepped in and while it was my wife, I have never had sex in front of anyone. She prompted him back on the bed and performed oral on him again until completion while she and I had sex.

After we talked and he left, my wife and I talked about it and got feedback from each other. Not that any of it was bad, I had to say that just me watching her and him did more for me than anything else combined. Does that make sense? Maybe, Maybe not. I'm ready to watch them again.

[JDApopka]

your not alone I too love to watch my wife with other men

[willyoats]

We knew two couples where the guy would just watch. One of them did the gang bang scene every time they were at our club. She did 10 to 25 guys while he just sat in the corner and played with himself (and sort of directed who was to be next on her). They must have had sex at least once, because she was pregnant when we first met them. I assume it was his.

The other couple always took one guy at a time to do the wife while hubby sat quietly in the corner masturbating. I don't think he ever had sex with her after she finished with their playmate, but I am not really sure about that.

As for my wife and me, I like to see her with another man. We do MFM about a third of the time, but I always have intercourse with my wife after the other guy is finished. I don't really know what the fascination is with watching her get banged by another guy. Is it the pleaure she gets from it? Is it the idea that I can look the other guy in the eye after we are done and brag (silently) that she's going home with me, Buddy, not you! Is it a piece of the Madonna/whore complex that I used to suffer from. After the first time she banged another guy, I put that albatross to bed (pun intended).

Essentially, we have decided that it is not important to understand; just enjoy it.

[Lascivious L&L]

I think what you say makes a lot of sense. For some men, myself included, making love is a very intimate act. It takes time to become comfortable enough with another woman to ever approach what it feels like with your wife. Loving you, his wife, as he does, watching your enjoymen of sex is an amazing experience. Enjoying sex with you while another man does is so very erotic for him.

When it is a threesome, all his attention can go to your enjoyment. With another woman there, his attention is diverted and it does not have the same intimacy or comfort level for him as it does with only you and the other guy.

It shows that your husband is very in love with you and very aroused by you. Watching you have such pleasure with another man increases his own. It's such a win/win situation! Enjoy that he enjoys it and enjoys your enjoyment. It heightens the arousal between yourselves, so it enhances what you already have. Just because not everyone enjoys the same thing has nothing to do with what you two enjoy.

[Interested One]

Originally Posted by 2lovers

Hi
My husband feels the same way. He's rather sitting there watching me enjoy with another male , and who am I to complain

I'll bet the other guy doesn't complain, either!

[JustAskJulie]

My ex could never get into playing with other women. He wanted to and it really frustrated him but whenever we would swap he would be more interested in watching me with the other guy than in playing with the female (leaving her feeling, well...left).

I also have some other friends where he never plays, just watches her and he loves it. So it's not that uncommon. I think the hard part is just learning what you really both want and like and going with it, rather than fighting it. If he's like my ex and really wants to be with other women (and allow you to be with other men) then you may end up needing to opt for separate room play to allow you both to play freely without the distraction.

[Rivertour]

I love the thoughts, smells, and the feel when I am with another woman, but nothing compares to how turned on I am watching my wife.

Not sure when it started or why, as we have always been very active and sexual with just each other for the most part. The times where others were involved was always such a major turn on that I wanted to swing throughout our whole relationship.

Now that we are very active in the lifestyle instead of sporatic, I am excited and happy to be with another woman, but my erections are no where near what they are with my wife. Her moans and movements are something I've enjoyed for over 30 years, so seeing another man enjoying her is about as good as it gets...I usually say, "yes she is incredible isn't she".

Our best play time other than when I watch her with another man, is when we have sex afterwards and discuss the whole encounter. So maybe it is more than just the thoughts smell and feel it may be the sounds that are most erotic.

[erotichugs]

watching her enjoy herself with another guy just drives me crazy.. if i am busy with another woman at the same time.. i cannot enjoy watching her..:-)
simple as that!! i just want to concentrate on each moan she makes.. and each muscle stiffing..
when she is having an Orgasm.. i get the biggest smile possible :-)
so I cant wait the next time she enjoys herself while I watch

[couple4couple]

This is a fantasy of mine, as the female part of us. I think it would be really hot for him to watch me with another man. However, we're just not ready for it yet. He wants to be playing! So maybe in the future...