Too tall for the Lifestyle?

[MulderNScully]

Every feel like Shrek sometimes?

I (Mulder) do every time I walk into a club setting or hotel party. The whole issue of my skin tone is for another thread and I will not make that the centerpiece of this topic. No, I sometimes feel like Shrek because of my height. I'm 6-7 and currently 298lbs. When I come into the room I'm either thought of one of two ways: former athlete or the bouncer. I'm neither. I'm with Scully and I'm like everyone else there: I'm ready to party! But I sometimes feel people already cut me to the quick before they even get to know me.

This already sounds like a whine topic thread, but I won't let it be because I take it all in stride. I think of all the people who reject me due to my height as someone who will miss the biggest sex amusement park they will ever get to ride on. Then I laugh, have a beer, and wait for the right song to dance to on the dance floor.

But truthfully I wonder about my other tall men and women out there. Do you feel like Shrek sometimes or do you feel your height is your greatest assets (not taking away from anyone's great ass) to who you are as a couple or single person? How do you cope with those who get to know you?

Again, not trying to make another sub-group in the Lifestyle, but we all come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and backgrounds. I guess sometimes finding a place where we can all stand and deal with our differences is easier said than done on most days.

Mulder
(MulderNScully)

[VegasLee]

Mulder,

I am 6'8" tall and 220 lbs. I have never had anyone rule me out that I am aware of in 30 years because I am "tall". Hell, me being tall is part of what got me the wonderful wife I have had forever.

Seems maybe you are looking for reasons for rejection. I don't think the "tall" part is what is doing it though.

Not only am I tall, I am old. That does not get me rejected either.

[two4youinswva]

I don't think I've ever heard a lady say "He's too tall". I'm sure there are those that don't prefer taller men, but I believe they are rare.

Mrs two4you doesn't have a tall/short preference. She likes what she likes, and height doesn't figure into that equation.

On the flip side, a lady's height really doesn't have a lot of bearing on my interest. Tall, short, or in between, if I find her attractive and she has the personality that pulls me in, then it's all good.

[LikeMinds321]

I don't think your being tall is a problem for people, I think it is a problem for you in that it makes you stand out and you seem uncomfortable with that.

Having people first think of you as an ex-pro athlete or a bouncer is a compliment, I think. And if people ask you if you are either (and it's getting tiring to hear) come up with a cleaver and friendly response that draws them in, yet directs them to another thought that can open a new topic for discussion. One that will enable people to get to know more about who Mulder is. Make the best of it.

Being tall will be noticed, and if you aren't comfortable with your height, people will see that in how you carry yourself. I'd suggest looking upon yourself in a new light, a more postive one. If you make your height and weight (I've read your Swing Lifestyle profile) the first comment about yourself, people will put too much focus on that. Since you'd rather they didn't, don't make your height and weight an issue.

Tall men are standouts. I think that is an advantage.

LM

[Alura]

I, too, don't think being tall is your problem, Mulder. If you want to experience rejection, try being reincarnated as a 5'3", 120 pound man. I've actually had women laugh out loud when I asked them to dance... even women of average height.

I considered my stature a real handicap until, on our first date, Mrs. Alura (5'9") covered the question with one sentence: "I prefer to measure a man from the bottom of his heart to the top of his mind." Since then, when a woman thinks I'm too short for her, I measure her "from the bottom of her heart to the top of her mind" and continue on my way.

There are advantages. I probably don't bump my head as often as you.

The most serious problem with my height is that I can't put both feet flat on the ground when sitting on most motorcycles. I can still ride, though!

Alura

[Newpants]

I'm totally average in height, totally average in weight, athletic build, average looks, spotlessly clean and groomed, quick witted, able to carry on a conversation on almost any topic, I like to dance and could flirt with Mother Theresa untill she blushed and guess what??....I get rejected all the time too.

Mrs New is slender, athletic and is always one of the 3 best looking women at the club or the party and is usually the prettiest one and guess what?...she gets rejected by both men and women periodically as well.

My point is, rejection is the one universal constant in the lifestyle and it is probably the one and only thing that we all share in common.

If it makes you feel any better then yes, somewhere along the line someone has rejected you for your height. And someone has probably rejected you because you are black. Just as I have been rejected because I am of only average height and I have been rejected because I am white. For every person that rejects you because of a particular trait there is likely another person that is drawn to you for that trait.


People get rejected for a million reasons but also get rejected for no particular reason at all. When we get rejected we often feel like we were singled out for rejection and that everyone else is being accepted so we look for reasons why we got rejected so we look for what sets us apart from the rest of the crowd. If you are the tallest person there or the only person of color it would be natural for you to suspect that those are the reasons you were rejected but you would be in error most of the time.

one person might think that you looked uncomfortable or not confident while at the exact same time another person thought you looked cocky and arrogant. You could have had a chipped nail or a hunk of spinach stuck in your teeth that you didn't notice in time. The list could go on and on and on and on and on.

Approach and be engaging with the people YOU are interested in and let those that don't appreciate you filter themselves out of your way so that you can enjoy those that do like you.

[JustAskJulie]

It's not Lee's height that freaks you out, it's that voice. He definitely has a radio voice (luckily he doesn't have radio looks to go with them . I like tall guys, I like short guys, I just like guys. Tall guys are fun because they can pick me up and take me for a ride...

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

And if people ask you if you are either (and it's getting tiring to hear) come up with a cleaver and friendly response that draws them in

Next time they ask if you are/were and athlete say "yes, a Jockey."

On a serious note, I am a former athlete and it is surprising some of the reactions I get. I am not nearly your height and I am not in playing shape anymore, but some women love it, some don't. I have been flat out told I was intimidating by a few of people just because of my size.

Same goes for some husbands, some are intrigued by the thought, others don't seem thrilled if their wife takes interest in me. Some get down right irritated.

Stranger still are my scars from multiple surgeries and injuries. I can understand them being a turn off, but some women are turned on by them, which is odd to me. One woman was pulling my cloths off in a club to get a look at them.

In the end, IMO, it is about personality most of the time anyway. My wife was not the least bit interested in me when we first met because she didn't care for athletes. But I was persistent. In the end it was personality that won her over. And that can take time, I was lucky enough that we traveled in the same circles long enough for her to get to know me.

I was self conscious about the stares and questions at first, but now when I find I woman I am interested in my philosophy is, I'll screw the ones that like me, and screw the ones that don't.

[SeXXXYSocials]

oh wow.....WANNNA get my juices flowing???
SHOW ME A TALL MAN OVER AGE 45
YUMMM OOOOOOOOOOOOH ;0

[GPHTallCouple]

I'm a bit on the tall side for a female (5'10") and I love how swingers overwhelmingly react positively to my height. I was very worried about my height when I started and even though in my heels I tower over many guys too. The wonderful thing is I don't feel as excluded in the lifestyle as I did in the vanilla world. I love how I am free to be me, and not excluded for my height.

[divenaked]

I love tall women, instead of dancing cheek to cheek, I get to dance cheek to tit!

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by GPHTallCouple

I'm a bit on the tall side for a female (5'10") and I love how swingers overwhelmingly react positively to my height. I was very worried about my height when I started and even though in my heels I tower over many guys too. The wonderful thing is I don't feel as excluded in the lifestyle as I did in the vanilla world. I love how I am free to be me, and not excluded for my height.

I've never understood the concept of rejecting tall women myself. As I've told tall women I've known, any man intimidated by a womans height is most likely best avoided in the long run anyways.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I've never understood the concept of rejecting tall women myself. As I've told tall women I've known, any man intimidated by a womans height is most likely best avoided in the long run anyways.

Yeah it's never bothered me either. I usually get the opposite; tall women saying I'm too short for them

My (female) spouse is 6 inches taller than I. We get along fine.

But every now and then, I just want a small (short, petite) woman. They feel different when you hold them, and they fit differently when you arrange them.

And I suppose it's easier for my neck not to be straining upward all the time. Since the boobs are at eye level, I'm trying extra hard to always appear to be looking at them, not their body!

And then there's the "tall women tend to lead" when dancing syndrome.

[GPHTallCouple]

Originally Posted by slevin

Yeah it's never bothered me either. I usually get the opposite; tall women saying I'm too short for them

I have rejected some men that were shorter than me, but that was more in the dating world. Swing wise, I'm not attracted to a man more than four inches shorter yet but my interest has been expanding shorter.

I like feeling feminine and long to feel pettite but I think I should let myself go and enjoy being amazonian now and then too.