Younger people in the lifestyle

[coolcouple51]

We are a couple in our mid 20s who is trying to get started in the swinging lifestyle. We have had threesomes and sex in the same room with other couples. We have been talking for quite a while and really want to take the next step. We started a swing lifestyle profile and are trying to meet people. Our question is are there couples close to our own age(21 to early 30s) out there? A lot of the profiles we see seem like fakes. We are not really sure if we are ready to go to a club. Even most of the events in our area seem to be all couples in there 40+.

[VegasLee]

The average age in the Lifestyle is 43 at this time.

You will find some of the younger crowd but you will have to search them out. You will tend to find more in their 30's then in the 20's though.

Just going to be a case of searching since there is not a great number of people in their 20's active in the Lifestyle.

[coolcouple51]

Yeah were starting to realize this. All you old peeps are out there having all the fun! J/k I agree, I just think we will need to be more proactive.

[AskMeOk]

I checked locally and located quite a few in your age group. Actually, about 50% more in your than ours! Maybe it is the same in your area... that suggests that they are out there, somewhere....

Anyway, I think you may *want* to try a club, since it seems the younger you are, the more likely you are frequenting the clubs. Bear in mind that "No means NO!" and that you can go there just to look and assess, rather that be expected to play.

Be patient and just go looking.... they probably won't come to you, you'll have to find out where they are....

[Newpants]

Originally Posted by coolcouple51

All you old peeps are out there having all the fun! J/k I agree, I just think we will need to be more proactive.

While you are out trying to be more proactive, I do recomend you not use the term, "All you old peeps," when talking to people.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by Newpants

While you are out trying to be more proactive, I do recomend you not use the term, "All you old peeps," when talking to people.

I think the "J/K" he threw in there covers that.

We've noticed an up-tick in the number of younger swingers since we started several years ago. Those of us in our 30's/40's still dominate the scene though.

If you'll hang in there Coolcouple51, your peer group will catch up with you in 10 or 15 years. Then of course, you'll be the experienced couple that everyone comes to for advice.

[LikeMinds321]

You will find swingers your age, but that age group is in the minority. The plus to being your age is that you have years to grow in to the majority. Lots of time ahead of you.

You live in a great area for swinging.

Welcome to the Board!

LM

[coolcouple51]

We have seen some on Swing Lifestyle but a lot of those profiles seem fake to us. We are not very big club people to be honest. W are thinking about going to a couple of events/parties but were waiting to see if anyone our age is going. Its not that we don't like people older than us. We actually get along better with people older than better than those my own age. It just we are not necesarily sexually attracted to people in that age group. And yes I did mean old "peeps" as a joke. Although it is true that you do seem to know how to have a good time from what I read;-)

[cari and mar]

Originally Posted by coolcouple51

We have seen some on Swing Lifestyle but a lot of those profiles seem fake to us.

It would not be surprising if a good number of them were single guys creating couples or bi-fem profiles, but all you can do is send some emails and see what the response is. Press for a voice verification and/or meeting at a bar or restaurant sooner than later.

We are not very big club people to be honest. W are thinking about going to a couple of events/parties but were waiting to see if anyone our age is going. Its not that we don't like people older than us. We actually get along better with people older than better than those my own age. It just we are not necesarily sexually attracted to people in that age group. And yes I did mean old "peeps" as a joke. Although it is true that you do seem to know how to have a good time from what I read;-)

Well, if you actually get along with older people better, why not go ahead and go, with the only expectation being to have a fun time visiting? If some people show up that you are attracted to, all the better! If it is a party of any size, even if there aren't any 20-something's, you'll likely be surprised at how young some of the 30-somethings are (both at heart, and in appearance).

C&M

[good times]

Were I in your position I would go to the clubs or parties. Most club or event sign-ups like the ones on Swing Lifestyle, rarely include even half the folks that will actually show up to the event. We have also noticed that the younger folks that do show up at the clubs rarely sign up that they are going to attend before hand. In fact, while I would say their are at least a few under 30 folks that attend the club 4 out of 5 nights we go, we have never seen one sign up, they just showed up.

[mrbigmrssexy]

Lee, Do you have a source for the average age data? I have not been able to find anything that would be definitive or verifiable. The EJHS study from 2000 said that the average was 39, but that study was hardly completely scientific nor definitive in its methods, even if it did give some interesting info.

Thanks
Tom

Originally Posted by VegasLee

The average age in the Lifestyle is 43 at this time.

You will find some of the younger crowd but you will have to search them out. You will tend to find more in their 30's then in the 20's though.

Just going to be a case of searching since there is not a great number of people in their 20's active in the Lifestyle.

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by mrbigmrssexy

Lee, Do you have a source for the average age data? I have not been able to find anything that would be definitive or verifiable. The EJHS study from 2000 said that the average was 39, but that study was hardly completely scientific nor definitive in its methods, even if it did give some interesting info.

Thanks
Tom

Well, nothing that I would call scientific at all. Here is what we have done over the last 15 years.

We own a few "Lifestyle" type web sites and forums that have been on the Internet since 1995 that we keep polls running on and let people tell us their ages. There is also a long running thread here on Swingers Board that I started years ago about ages.

At conventions we used to pass our questioners about things including ages and collect them. We also see 800 to 1000 people a week at the club for 28 years now.

In 2000 I would say that 39 to 40 would have been the right number. The group has got older though as the years go by. Considering 10 years and the average age has only gone up about three years that is about right.

Using the Internet is not a great way to do it. No way of proving if anyone is telling you the truth. Even at the conventions people just filled out the forms and dropped them in a box so can not say those are 100% either.

At the club we don't ask for I.D. unless someone appears underage so I can not prove the ages given there either but I think we have a pretty good fill for it with all the people and years involved.

Since most people don't tend to get into the Lifestyle until some time in their 30's and many of us have been around for 30+ years, the age keeps moving up slowly.

Yes, us old peeps have the experience and time on our side to have the fun.

It really is to bad that I am not into the 20 something ladies, I get more of that offered to me now then I did when I was a 20 something.

[coolcouple51]

Originally Posted by cari and mar

Well, if you actually get along with older people better, why not go ahead and go, with the only expectation being to have a fun time visiting? If some people show up that you are attracted to, all the better! If it is a party of any size, even if there aren't any 20-something's, you'll likely be surprised at how young some of the 30-somethings are (both at heart, and in appearance).

C&M

We have thought about it and looked at some couples in there 30s. But the better half doesn't want to go much older than thirty right now. We kinda want to get started with people our own age.

[Lascivious L&L]

I think one of the major divisions in swinging is club vs not club. Being not club people, we identify with you not being big club people. You'll get much advice saying visit a club. If you're not club people, that advice is not much help.

I began swinging in my early twenties and now I'm in my late 50's. Don't worry, you'll find people your age, but the finding has always been more work than you imagine. It depends on how picky you are and how friendship oriented. I've never been a casual fuck sort of person, nor is my wife, so we are a bit more picky.

So my advice is patience and dilligence. It will take time and effort to find people that are both your age AND ones you're hot to play with. The wider your tolerances to both age and hot, the easier it will be to find a fit.

[Coupleerotic22]

We have been on the lifestyle less than a year, and we are dead on VegasLee's average age. We only went to our first club party recently (it was great I might add) but we saw a wide range of ages, from mid 20's to mid 60+. I have seen comments that make me think different cities/regions have some variation in terms of swinger demographics, but not much. I am sure there are couples out there that fit what you are looking for if you are patient.

That said, when we started, we had parameters and tons of rules. It did not take long for us to start dropping both. We dropped parameters because we found people of all types that we just flat out liked and thought were sexy. (We dropped many of the rules because we realized they were just plain ridiculous.) So, just get out there and start meeting people, without preconceptions, and without the concept that everyone you meet will end up being a playmate. We have made a lot of friends, many we will likely not play with, for various reasons and frankly we wouldn't have the time for that many playmates. But one of the pleasant things we have found is that friends we have made gladly introduce us to other friends and sometime they are a match for us.

In short it is great to have a large circle of friends regardless of how many playmates you want. And the larger the circle of friends the greater chance you will find playmates.

Edit: Oh, and I meant to say about clubs. We made more friends in a single night than we do in several weeks online. It is just easier face to face, at least for us.