Are Asians less inclined to Swinging?

[Asian_Swinger]

Hi everybody!

I am new to this forum and the idea of swinging. My question is that are Asians less inclined to the idea of swinging?

Being Vietnamese, I found it very difficult to communicate the idea of swinging to my exes and friends. It just feels that the Asian culture frown upon the idea of swinging. I feel kind of ostracized because I get really turned on when thinking of my loved one being pleasured by another man, but has no way of being able to tell her that =/

Peter

[DigginIt]

Hey Peter,

I believe that everyone has their own challenges when it comes to swinging and some are harder than others to overcome. When growing up, we are instilled with the values of our family, our culture and our religion to the point that eventually these things become barriers later in life when considering things outside of what is 'generally' considered acceptable.

I appreciate everything I have been taught but at some point in my life I stepped back and started to question 'why' and started to do my own research and formulate my own opinions. It was at this point that I have been able to open myself up to do things that traditionally I never would have before.

Circling back around to the point. I think that people are people and one race isn't more inclined than another but it's the obstacles they have allowed or personally built into their lives that prevent them from swinging or accepting the ideas of consensual sex.

This is just my guess. Others may feel differently but if I had to guess I would say that this is the reason why many people don't swing. I still hold to many of the things I was taught when I was growing up but I'm a lot more open to things these days because I feel I'm thinking for myself.

We have a lot of Asians in our area who swing, these are mostly mixed marriage couples so maybe these couples already have a more open mind.

[SecretAsianMan]

Most traditional asian cultures (from my experience) are pretty close-minded and reluctant to discuss ANYTHING to do with sex or sexuality ... Either they refuse to discuss sex or just refuse to acknowledge that it happens.

Less inclined to swinging? Probably not if they're open enough to discuss sex in the first place.

[shy_couple]

We are not asian but agree with Digginit. Everyone has their hang-ups and the bottom line is: if she is not open to the idea or will not even discuss it,its probably better left in fantasy land.

We also live in SoCal and for me (him) I have always fantasized about asian women. We did met an asian couple who were nice but I think, in our case, there were communication and cultural obstacles that we couldn't get past. They were nice but she was a bit submissive and he was a bit pushy/controling.
It got a bit uncomfortable for us. We picked up on the vibe before playing and didn't listen to that little voice and went ahead anyway.

The flip side is you are in OC/LA area. If you are able to talk to her and she agrees to check it out, there are several Asian Swinger sites and clubs that you can explore. I know Swing Lifestyle has a few groups that you can check out. Good luck.

[ratimadan]

Originally Posted by Asian_Swinger

Hi everybody!

I am new to this forum and the idea of swinging. My question is that are Asians less inclined to the idea of swinging?
Peter

We do not think that Asians are less inclined to swinging or exchanging mates with another couple for the purpose of enjoying erotic play and sexual intercourse with someone other than their own mate/wife/husband.

We believe that the human species, regardless of ethnicity, are intrinsically and genetically inclined toward experiencing and enjoying sexual intercourse with a multiplicity and variety of sex partners that may happen to be another couple's wife/husband/SO or another single male or female. When Asians, males and females, migrate to America they are able to break loose from the inherited sexual norms and taboos and do have sexual intercourse prior to marriage with a many of their girlfriends or boyfriends. These girls and boys are unlikely to be virgins before they marry and settle down. Therefore, after marriage these couples are open to the idea of swinging and enjoying other partners for sex.

It is a matter of education and exposure to the idea that swinging is not only a very normal but also desirablle activity for mature couples. The opportunity to swing or exchange partners with other couples for sexual intercourse may vary from countrry to country. However, to our knowledge and experience Chinese, Vietnamese, Indians or other nationalities are equally interested and open to experiencing pleasurable sexual intercourse with a variety of male/female partners.

Even in the U.S.A. swingers are still in a tiny minority, even though swinging or swapping mates with other likeminded couples for social and sexual intercourse is quite common and widespread.

[good times]

It probably varies around the country, but where we are, Asians are probably the third most common ethnic group we see at the clubs. A lot more females than males though. Most of the couples we see are an Asian female and white male, which suggests to me that, if anything, maybe the Asian males are less willing to discuss it with their spouses than the Asian females are willing to accept the idea.

[Mr.Essex]

I can't say "Yes" to whether Asians are less inclined to swinging, but I can say that minorities (in my experience, assuming that you're a resident or citizen of America/Canada or a European country) are far less likely to enter the lifestyle than your average WASP/WASC. In almost 6 years of swinging, two years of which were spent in Europe, I became accustomed to being the token non-white member in the room. I've visited clubs in which there were a dozen black people (in a group of 100+ people), I've been a member of a "circle" where some of the men had non-white wives and I've even attended parties in which access to "available black/Latino/Asian men" was a selling point, but the results were almost always the same: the minorities were represented in numbers far below their percentages of the population.

But I will reiterate, I can't say that Asians don't swing. I know from hearsay that certain cities in Asia (Seoul, Tokyo, Sapporo, Beijing, Shanghai, Jakarta to name a few) have "underground" parties for lifestylers, with Tokyo's broad international appeal being the most likely place to find a "dedicated" club. I've also met more than my fair share of non-white people in European-dominant areas of the world who were active swingers (including a club in Germany whose membership was almost 1/2 West Asian/East Asian/African). Culture, however, trumps everything else, and the idea of public displays of sex between unrelated couples is taboo enough in the relatively "liberal" environs that we inhabit today. Asian countries, African countries, Middle Eastern countries and Latin American countries aren't as sexually "open" as Europe or North America, and they're full of people who'd rather be set on fire than even be accused of setting foot into "that type" of establishment.

So, if you're looking for an Asian woman who'd be willing or even eager to swing, your best bet would be to find one whose family has lived in America for at least a couple of generations.

[SecretAsianMan]

Well... I know that I'm considered "unique" or at the very least, fairly rare as an asian male in the lifestyle in my circles (Southern California). I've seen a fair number of asian females (and their non-asian husbands/boyfriends)

I think also... there's some cultural stereotypes working against the asian males. ( After "The Joy Luck Club" came out - I was on a dry spell for MONTHS! - only sort of joking about that)

If you think about it... asian males are seen as emotionally cold. Non-communicative. And the worst stereotype I've encountered which works against me is... there is a reputation for having small penises. NONE of that sounds like an ideal swing-partner to MOST people I know.

You rarely see ads out there from anyone looking for partner of "small size" (Granted... I'm not "BIG" by any stretch of the imagination - but I'm at least statistically average)

Also... with traditional asians, there is a very conservative view on sex. Sure, it definately happens & asians are just as wild & freaky as anyone else out there... but often times, the culture doesn't allow 'em to openly express this sexuality. (The Red Light District of Tokyo is a HUGE "don't-ask-don't-tell" zone)

And I agree with the prior response... you're probably more likely to find asians who'll be open to it if they've been culturalized for a few generations.

(I recently went to a Polyamorous Meet-n-Greet and was very surprised at the number of asians which I met there!)

Originally Posted by good times

It probably varies around the country, but where we are, Asians are probably the third most common ethnic group we see at the clubs. A lot more females than males though. Most of the couples we see are an Asian female and white male, which suggests to me that, if anything, maybe the Asian males are less willing to discuss it with their spouses than the Asian females are willing to accept the idea.

[westcan]

I am caucacian and my wife is asian (but born in North America and only speaks English). I have to admit that I have always found it very difficult to discuss most anything about sex with her. Learning about what she wants, needs and desires has been a trial and error kind of thing, despite my best efforts. If the trial works out, I'll do it again. If not, back to the drawing board. It didn't help that she had not had a lot of sexual experience before I met her.

Being born here, I couldn't understand why it was so hard to discuss sexual issues with her. But having been together going on six years, I now believe there really does seem to be a cultural taboo about discussing or even liking sex, to some extent.

I know my wife would have been very happy to have lived her life playing with no one else but me for the rest of her life, without complaint. But I started to see and feel how much she would enjoy playing with others. She would get turned on when I made up a story about us playing or having a couple of guys playing with her (this is over several years). We finally had the opportunity to experience the lifestyle a few months ago. My wife took to it like a fish to water. Watching her transform from a somewhat shy person to a loud wildwoman -doing things I never dreamt she would do with guys and girls - amongst a crowd of people was a real treat for both of us.

When I read posts on this site where the advise is typically: communicate, discuss, have signals, etc. ... all I can do is shake my head. I wish it would work for us - as that is my nature - but it just doesn't. Our crazy lifestyle party was just trial and error. We had no plan or signal or prior discussion, we just attended the event and jumped in the pile. What's our plan from here.?... I wish I knew. As an Asian, I know she is inclined to Swinging, just not inclined to talk about it.

[asncpl]

As an asian couple, I don't think we are less inclined, at least not more so than others in the population. We have spent time living in Asia while my husband was on assignments, and we found swinger groups in Hong Kong, Shenzhen, and Shanghai. I think there are discussions about swinging and other sexual issues, but most of them are discussed in boards of the native asian languages. So unless you can read or speak vietnamese or chinese or other asian languages, it's probably difficult to find them.

[Newpants]

Originally Posted by Asian_Swinger

Hi everybody!

I am new to this forum and the idea of swinging. My question is that are Asians less inclined to the idea of swinging?

Being Vietnamese, I found it very difficult to communicate the idea of swinging to my exes and friends. It just feels that the Asian culture frown upon the idea of swinging. I feel kind of ostracized because I get really turned on when thinking of my loved one being pleasured by another man, but has no way of being able to tell her that =/

Peter

I am an American caucasion through-and-through and I can tell you with complete confidence that if I were to mention swinging to my "exes and friends" they would come unhinged at the seams and I would definately be judged harshly and ostracized by them.

I don't know if there is any culture that fully embraces noncommitted/nonmonogamous sex without some degree of condemnation. Some cultures definately place a higher value on monogamy than others and are harsher on any deviation from that but I do not know where Vietnamese would fall in the spectrum.

I can say this though and that is a couple's decision to swing should be between that couple and their potential playmates ONLY. Any discussion of swinging with any other friends, exes, family, coworkers, neighbors etc etc will result in unnecessary condemnation and judgement regardless of culture.

Swinging is and should always be a private affair and noone else's business. What goes on in a couple's bedroom should be strictly between the couple and the people that they invite into their bedroom. Anyone else knowing about it is just asking for trouble.