Too perfect swing-partner.

[JandY]

What happens when (love your partner with all your heart as you do) you hook up with another couple and his/her partner manages to press buttons that you didn't even know you had?

Apart from insisting that you all immediately move in together, how can you handle the longing for that ground-breaking sex everytime you had/have with them, when having otherwise pretty good fun with your own husband/wife/partner?

[SW_PA_Couple]

You cross you fingers and hope that your spouse never has a chance to read about it at a Web site.

[slevin]

You tell your spouse how incredible it was and specifically what it was about it that made it so incredible. That way you and your spouse can go about making that happen at home between the two of you all the time! If needed, get the swing partner to show you both his tricks, or just tell your spouse about his mental approach, or how he acts dominantly or whatever.

[lustylearning]

Oh yes! Communicate, communicate, communicate! No secrets. It is amazing what honesty can accomplish! And if you are happily married, perhaps you really can have it all. Just remember what that swing partner is and is not.

[The Fuse]

JandY,

Can you tell us any more about what you mean?

From your earlier posts, I'm wondering whether you mean the male half of the other couple you swing with. And if that is true, and you still haven't told your wives that you are having M-M sex, you're in a bucketful of you-know-what.

If that's not what's happening, please disregard and accept my apology.

A too-perfect swinging partner? In general, all extenuating circumstances aside, then you should ask your spouse to change things up a little to try some of the things you like with your partner, like slevin said. However, sometimes even that doesn't help. In that case I'd just say enjoy the sex with your partner and your love and sex with your wife. Personally, I don't mind the thought that my husband may have a temporary thing so great with someone else that he thinks she is the greatest sex partner ever. It would be hard to expect one person to be both your life partner and all the rest of it, at the same time, ALL the time.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by slevin

You tell your spouse how incredible it was and specifically what it was about it that made it so incredible. That way you and your spouse can go about making that happen at home between the two of you all the time! If needed, get the swing partner to show you both his tricks, or just tell your spouse about his mental approach, or how he acts dominantly or whatever.

I often agree with slevin, and this is no exception. This is exactly what we'd do.

[dumbasarock10]

Simple enough: Now that you know where those buttons are, have your partner press them. It'll be awkward at first, but once he knows how to, from then on out it's smooth sailing. I can remember early on in a relationship in the past, having my ears used like a steering wheel. But once I learned what I was doing, no one ever complained again.

[willyoats]

This one really hit home. 11-1/2 years ago I had the absolute best sex of my life with a woman I had met a couple of days earlier at a resort in Mexico. Four days later we had a return visit and it was just as wonderful. (Wife in the meantime had a ho-hum fling with this woman's boyfriend.) I immediately told my wife how great it was. She understands that this kind of thing may happen.

When the vacation was over, we all went home and took up where we had left off. This was a peak that I shall never forget. (That woman and I are still in contact) However, sex with another swing partner, no matter how good, could NEVER be the basis for breaking up a terrific marriage, even if there is a considerable emotional component (as in my case with the other woman). It's a matter of loyalty, maturity, long term goals.

Let this great encounter be a fantasy that you cherish, and get back to your real responsibilities.

[sweet_tna]

That's one of those things that can happen when ya' start swinging, but here's the thing. It's just sex. It may be ground-breaking sex, but if you truly love your spouse/SO, then what you have with him/her is so much more than that. So TELL your spouse/SO what you like so much about sex with this playmate. Maybe he/she can try some of those techniques and you can get a whole new groove on.

=)

[ViSexual]

Nobody is immune to 'HIV' (Hormonal Infatuation Virus)

Just remember that the rare combination of appearance, flirtatiousness, and sexual compatibility is so temporary.

Enjoy it for what it is and consider all the non-sexual incompatibilities you probably have with that new person.

And, like with most viruses, it'll mitigate and then pass. And, you'll only remember that person as a really great fuck.

[JTcamp05]

I have a feeling...its just might not be the same if you did "move in together"....

Sometimes the whole dynamic of "swinging" can bring out those feelings.... There are many levels of love..... In my opnion changing the relationship from what it currently is may just effect your feelings....

Why spoil a good thing?

[fundove2]

My iwfe and I met a swing couple years ago when we first started to swing that really turned her on. He was into her often and she loved it. He was not something so special physically but treated her like she wnaed sex and she loved it. She wnated him often and I knew she wold meet him alone and do sex with him and then she told me she loved him really loved him. She was also not intending to leave me sex was her goal too with the love. So I knew and let her screw whith her new lover she needed it and she would tell me and afer a years or so he wore off her needs list. lol we still swing to them but wife is not so enfatuated with him anymore

email me if you like at yfeets@aol.com

[Mr.Essex]

I can tell you what not to do: sending the new partner a year-long string of "When are you coming back to Minneapolis?", E-mails. If nothing else, you should figure out how to duplicate the results with your SO, then keep your fingers crossed for meeting the other person again.

[swinger5]

Boy, I wish that would happen to us. Lucky.

[Rackir]

Originally Posted by JandY

What happens when (love your partner with all your heart as you do) you hook up with another couple and his/her partner manages to press buttons that you didn't even know you had?

Congradualtions, you now have an instant "on" switch for those times when just feeling so-so in the mood. Just think about that encounter for a few seconds, and you should be ready to go!