Does swinging make us better?

[socolais]

I just read a comment in a thread and my mind went off on a tangent. Does swinging make us better lovers or do we somehow tend to swing because we're better in bed. Or maybe, we're so bad in bed that we recognize a need for additional practice. Whatcha think...


My opinion is that swinging sex is so different from "making love" that there is no noticeable correlation.

[sweet_tna]

While I definitely acknowledge that there is a difference between swinging sex and making love, I think swinging DOES make us better lovers. After all, practice makes perfect.

Practically speaking, I find that as we swing, we tend to learn more/different techniques, and improve our communication skills.

I also feel that swinging increases the love and desire I already feel for my honey. That can only make it better, right?


=)

[Chicup]

As a man I can say swinging made me better in bed as no two women are exactly the same so more practice helps, but based on personal experience and observation people do NOT swing BECAUSE they are better. Some are quite god awful.

[Dave_kat]

From the stories we hear from some of Dave's Soldiers - they could certainly use some lessons in manners and pleasing their wives.

Does it make us better lovers? We think anything that keeps the blood flowing and the interest up and the communication on top makes us better lovers to begin with.

Not to mention all the new ideas that we can come up with from watching and experimenting.

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

I think it makes us better in so many ways.

I appreciate swinging for making new friends. I think new and quality friends makes me a better person in a way I cant really explain.

I cant say that it makes me a better "lover" as I correlate a lover to passion and emotional sex. I think it gives me the opportunity to try new things with more than one person teaching me new techniques to be a better "play partner"

Watching, experimenting and learning are keys to us becoming better at the lifestyle. The lifestyle is friendship and fun; we learn new ways to meet people, become less anxious to meet someone who is not a perfect match, and learn to weed out bad experiences before they happen.

Yes it makes us better in lots of ways.

Kyle

[curioussnk]

For us it has seemed to make us better ....well, at lots of things. We feel like once a couple has opened up to the level that we have with each other we can talk about anything...not just sex stuff...but it seems like we tell each other even more than before about our day, our work, our feelings. Hard to explain but sometimes I feel like I can tell him how something made me feel even if it was a "stupid" feeling and he seems to listen more.

And as far as our one on one sex life...it has always been off the charts and fulfilling ...but when we are alone again after being with another couple it just seems like we are closer somehow...it is not that we "learned" any new sex technique....but we are just better and better..

probably does not make much sense cause it is so hard to verbalize these things sometimes.

[swvacouplelookn]

Originally Posted by Chicup

...people do NOT swing BECAUSE they are better. Some are quite god awful.

Greater truth may never have been spoken!

[swvacouplelookn]

To answer the question in the OP, yes in theory it SHOULD make us better at sex in general. Just to simplify it, seeing someone do something you never thought of adds a new element to your repertoire. Plus, having to take the time to "figure out" someone else with whom you have little or no experience forces you to expand your horizons in the first place.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Some are quite god awful.

Hear hear! After being in a few playrooms and observing, our own experiences, and hearing other swinger 'horror' stories...I've had the particularly uncharitable thought of "Now I know why he/she wanted to swing..."

Socolais...I see no correlation either, count yourselves lucky if you've had more "wow" than "ugh" experiences.

[sexylady1970]

Most of the responses to date are related to making us better lovers. While that is definately true, what about as people in general. We think it makes a previously shy individual more outgoing. It takes a person who doesn't take much time and effort with their appearance and makes them work at it a little more. It takes a couple who don't communicate well and opens their lines of communication with each other. It keeps a couple who may take each other for granted and makes them cherish every day they are together.

The list of things could go on and on, but we feel these are the highlights

[swvacouplelookn]

Originally Posted by sexylady1970

Most of the responses to date are related to making us better lovers. While that is definately true, what about as people in general. We think it makes a previously shy individual more outgoing. It takes a person who doesn't take much time and effort with their appearance and makes them work at it a little more. It takes a couple who don't communicate well and opens their lines of communication with each other. It keeps a couple who may take each other for granted and makes them cherish every day they are together.

The list of things could go on and on, but we feel these are the highlights

Those are some very good points!

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by Chicup

As a man I can say swinging made me better in bed as no two women are exactly the same so more practice helps, but based on personal experience and observation people do NOT swing BECAUSE they are better. Some are quite god awful.

I have to agree on this one and I KNOW MrsVan would. You would think that folks that have been in the LS for a bit would know at least a few things about pleasing a playmate. Unfortunately, MrsVan has had her share of guys that just can't seem to figure it out. Hell she even has a hood piercing that pretty much directs you to the spot and they still couldn't find it!

-Van

[swvacouplelookn]

We had one encounter where this couple had supposedly been in the lifestyle for years, however this guy was about as lazy, unskilled and unenthusiastic as you could imagine. He talked a good game (hell, his wife made him sound like a modern day Casanova), but was brutally lousy. It was one time I felt sorry for my wife! LOL Needless to say, I doubt this couple gets much "repeat business" if this was his best work.

But, this is the only instance I can recall of someone being a poor sexual partner. Everyone else has been at least eager to learn if not already capable of the task at hand!

[Trace Ekies]

We're better for it. As sweet_tna said...practice makes perfect.

Once we got beyond the mind-blowing excitement of sharing ourselves in such a way, we started looking at the details and studying them.

Mrs. Ekies learned this past Monday night that not all men can take a blow job of the quality that she's becoming famous for like I can. I have a hang-up with coming in a woman's mouth and, as a result, will enjoy a BJ as long as my partner cares to administer. During our conversation about her disappointment with not having the chance to enjoy her partner's large equipment I told her that she needs to be careful with her talents...the poor guy came early and everywhere...and was out for a good while and never recovered enough to get the condom in place.

These are the details that we study to make us better partners for each other and those we chose to share our bed with.

I think we're better now. The improvement is in the details that make for a great experience instead of a good one. I'll take both but would prefer the former and I want and need to leave my partners with a feeling that I was in it for them and me, with the me part being a close second.

Trace

[good times]

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

Hell she even has a hood piercing that pretty much directs you to the spot and they still couldn't find it!

Interesting you would say that as that may just be the problem. I know that for me, I like giving some tongue action to that spot on a woman, but I hate sucking on jewelry. So, if a woman has a hood piercing that pretty much eliminates any chances she will get any oral from me.