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| General Swingers Stuff Forum for all things swinger related. If it doesn't fit in one of the other swinger related forums, then post it here. |
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| | #16 (permalink) |
| South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male
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To me it's not required by any means, but it's nice to have some attention paid to me beforehand or between rounds. There is plenty more that can be done with my penis besides just sucked, though. So it's by no means a requirement. Besides, for me chemistry, and what makes for good sex, goes waaaaay beyond what sex acts are performed.
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__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud | |
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| | #17 (permalink) |
| Way too opinionated Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,826 Location: Southeastern Virginia Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:The_Fuse
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Julie: I'd have to say that swinging would be quite the challenge from my point of view, if I could neither give oral nor have full-on intercourse. I like your attitude toward your situation though (I definitely laughed at your comment that "It sucks big donkey balls!") and I wish you the best as far as beating whatever the problems are that are keeping you from enjoying yourself. TMJ really sounds pretty hard to deal with. I know that when I ignore my limitations I generally pay for it afterward. I have a chronic problem that I ignored on Saturday night, and now I am in a decent amount of pain. It does stink when your body doesn't cooperate. I'm sending good thoughts your way. That said I have had a few long-term partners who don't really give much oral. It's fine with me if I like the guys otherwise, because I get lots of it from Mr. Fuse, so it's not missing in my sex life. Like you, if I couldn't give it that would take away more of the enjoyment for me. We've been seeing a couple for about six months where the lady has jaw problems too, and Mr. Fuse is okay with that because he gets lots of oral from me. Coincidentally, giving oral isn't one of her husband's main appeals either. He does it, but doesn't really relish it. I like him for other reasons . I imagine they both like us in part because we both have a thing for giving it, and neither of us cares too much in their case if we get it. Of course we are a full-swap couple, so our situation is different. Maybe your solution is to find soft swap couples where the other lady gives her husband lots of oral and so he may not care too much if you can't. |
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__________________ Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne Last edited by The Fuse; 06-22-2009 at 03:33 PM. | |
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| | #18 (permalink) |
| Registered Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 8 Location: Goldsboro, NC Status: Couple
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I have to agree. I love giving and receiving oral and it is a big factor in my personal sex life. I do not think my wife would be very happy though because she has a very hard time cumming without having oral done to her. I agree with this poster and love a great hand job done with a lubricant |
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| | #19 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,252 Location: North Carolina Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:ncmd_couple
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Julie, I'm sorry to hear that your TMJ is interfering in your life and loving so much. In such a situation I would be pleased to just curl up and cuddle with you for a while and talk until you are back up to health. Our best wishes to you and a speedy recovery!! S |
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__________________ Try anything once, twice if it is fun, three times if it is real good! | |
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| | #20 (permalink) |
| Never up.....never in Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 732 Location: se Michigan and se Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:wildmicouple
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Playing without all of the foreplay huh Sure it can be done.....would it be as enjoyable? Nope, not for me It would tend to feel rushed as we'd get to the fucking part too quick. And the whole play session would be shortened as half the fun would be lost It's pretty effin sexy watching a playmate go down on you and have her look up in your eyes...... and see as the corners of her eyes and then her lips curl up to form a smile around your cock I'm sure swinging without oral is done here and there, but it sure would take alot of fun out of playing. Brett |
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__________________ Take it easy baby......but take as much as you can. | |
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| | #21 (permalink) | |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard
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That's pretty much my feeling as well. And I can't even imagine what soft-swinging is without oral sex... it just doesn't leave much. Here let me make out with this other guy then jump over to my hubby for sex (I like a little something in between) and I like the something in between even moreso when it comes to swinging. If that's all it's gonna be I'll stick with what we have... go to the socials and flirt and socialize and then go home and screw each other. It's not a big deal to put the rest on hold for a little while, it's not like it's never gonna happen, it's just gotta wait. | |
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| | #22 (permalink) |
| Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,489 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun
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Damn, I would think this condition sucks. (pun intended) I have to wonder about how you say anything to potential playmates at the socials you guys go to or even people on line, through the websites. Swinging without oral ? We could adapt..... My first question would be, how do you relate this to couples/men you might be interested in locally ? Although I have never been with a woman with this condition. Now I wounder if there might have been one who said nothing about it That kinda bums me out thinking about it. Most female playmates I have been with, with "special needs", have been open about how they feel. At our ages, we can relate to aches and pains or conditions that might interfere with things. I have personally been with females with varying conditions and stages of recovery. From a hysterectomy, to one playmate with a broken arm. One woman had back surgery, and I can say she was very appreciative of my concern. Heck, One woman and I even compared scars with, and got kinda hot doing it. ![]() I know this is an anonymous forum, but do you feel uncomfortable just mentioning this to potential playmates ? Or, is the discomfort just not worth the pleasure ? As far as saying we can adapt. Do you feel a prosthetic device could be used like a brace or something ? Perhaps some pillows placed in various places ? Am I sounding weird here or something, I cant imagine a man not understanding..... What about Pet playing with a woman/ couple in a MFM scenario and you taking things a little bit easier on yourself. I would think... No actually I know, Mrsfun can take care of two men orally. What kind of options have you considered ? Do you encounter potential playmates who decline if you mention this ? |
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| | #23 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 489 Location: Central Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:swyngcpl
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Oral sex is a huge part of our sex lives, both as a couple and as swingers. But if a potential playmate told me she couldn't go down on me for any reason I would agree. I would then tell her to get on her back, pull her knees up to her chest and enjoy the best I have to offer...for as long as she wants. ![]() Trace |
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| | #24 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 133 Location: USA Status: M.Male
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Obviously , if YOU feel you wouldn't enjoy, then don't. But that said, yes head is good. But an excellent hand job can be better than an average BJ . The really limiting factor would be not being able to get you off ( if I read correctly its the orgasm , and not intercourse per se that is the problem) Once upon a time when avoiding intercourse, between the breasts, and between closed thighs from behind were still very enjoyable for me. But of course there were at least one orgasm for her with tounge, finger, G spot, toys, etc first. ( the point being no head/ no intercourse can still be a blast). |
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| | #25 (permalink) |
| ~This space for rent~ Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,750 Location: across the tracks Status: Couple
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I think it would bother me more if I couldn't give oral than it would not to be able to receive it. I absolutely LOVE giving oral. Sometimes though, through either allergies or whatever, my sinuses won't allow oral for long periods of time. In between, I've found that either my hands or tongue work just as well. Now, I'm going to speak for Dave, not only because we share a brain, but just because he isn't here ~~ I don't think he'd mind at all if his partner didn't/couldn't/wouldn't/won't give head. I know for a fact that he loves hands, or whatever else you might like to use. He's not difficult to please. I'd HATE to have TMJ. There are so many problems that arise from that. Migraines usually being the worst. (I hate migraines.) Sending good vibes for a quick recovery. |
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__________________ Dave & Holly | |
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| | #26 (permalink) |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard
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Without going into any more detail than I already have about my affliction and the problems it causes. Basically, we decided that overall it's best if we just take a break. We do tell people that the reason for our self-imposed break, as to why we aren't swinging. We just go to the social and have a good time. Our regular social is like a group of old friends and we are also very social with any new people, we just don't put ourselves in a situation where play is an option. If someone suggests is we tell them that we are on a break due to my issues. We still flirt and we still have a good time, we just don't let it get carried away and if there is any doubt, we explain the situation. What we have learned from doing so is that we've actually made some real friends out of some of the local swingers - people who actually want to just enjoy our company and spend time with us without expecting more. If sex itself wasn't out as well as oral sex, it wouldn't be an issue and I'd just suffer with not being able to give oral. But cutting out both oral and regular sex... just doesn't leave enough to make it worth bothering (IMO). If someone came to me and said all we are open to is having you go down on us and all I will do is use fingers on you... I'd say no, so our decision is based on that. It is interesting to read that more people (myself included) could more easily live without receiving oral sex than they could without giving it. |
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| | #27 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 437 Location: lady lake, fl
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There is a problem when the best BJ you had was your first BJ. It really spoils all later ones. That happened to me. The first was absolutely the best I ever had. It wasn't till 20 years alter when I lucked into having a swing with the self confessed BJ Queen of Texas that I had anything even close to being as good. All the ones in between were fun but not earth shaking. That's not to suggest that all the encounters over the years included oral nor that the encounters that did include oral were in any way unsatisfactory. I give it to probably twice as many women as I get it back from. I always love to give it, but if I don't get it back, that's really OK. I guess the bottom line is that oral either giving or receiving, is usually fun but not vital. |
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| | #28 (permalink) |
| nothin special Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,251 Location: Dallas Status: M. Male - half of a novice swinging couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Bruce_Melissa
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Would some sort of tantric massage be a desirable option???
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__________________ I like her because she smiles at me and means it | |
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| | #29 (permalink) | |
| Never up.....never in Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 732 Location: se Michigan and se Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:wildmicouple
| Quote:
That way you could let your helper do the oral for you and no jaw problems But.......ya might wanna remind her you can't do oral so she doesn't pass him back to you to share in the fun I'm betting those neckaches area a bitch. Ever try one of those heat/cold packs ![]() Just trying to help Julie ![]() Brett | |
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__________________ Take it easy baby......but take as much as you can. | ||
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| | #30 (permalink) | |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard
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![]() I'll just start offering up 68s - We were considering an on-going situation with a couple we see pretty regularly in which she's practically been ready to throw him down if she could just get him back to her room...the problem is on our end with not wanting the other guy to feel left out, but we're thinking we may have worked a way around that - we'll find out if it will work for them in another week, hopefully. | |
| Last edited by JustAskJulie; 07-20-2009 at 06:31 PM. | ||
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