Keeping down with the Jones?

[driveajeepnaked]

Just read this in another thread, and not wanting to hijack that one, here goes...

Anyhow, then the husband went down on my wife... so we followed and I went down on his wife.... I had fun doing it, even though at home you wont catch me down there.

I guess I don't understand the logic behind this statement... so the guy won't have oral sex with his wife, but when he saw the other guy do it, then he felt that he better get down there as well??

Gotta wonder how his wife felt about that? I'm not slamming the OP in the other thread, just wondering if this is common...

Will a person do something with a playmate that they won't think of doing with their own spouse?? Even if the spouse would like it? Peer pressure?

Val

[sexcupid]

I guess my question to the other poster would be...why not? Even if it's not something you are just chomping at the bit to do, if it's something you are ok with doing that your partner would like, I don't see the problem with doing whatever it is.

I could see how it might be a peer pressure issue or even a keeping things 'even' issue (well, he touched her there...better do the same, etc). As that person's SO I would definitely be wondering why he's not doing it for me.

Kinda perplexing to me.

[PB&J]

My automatic response to that comment was, well, good luck in the lifestyle. I have found that almost universally, lifestyle men are VERY enthusiastic practitioners of cunnilingus- either that, or they are very good at pretending to be. and in that group I include my husband, who has spoiled me for 22 years with his magic tongue.

Not sure if it's peer pressure that did it for these men, or if they just liked it a lot anyway. Maybe it's just expanding horizons. On the other hand, PB had never even dreamed of spanking me until he saw someone else do it. Now he throws the odd ass slap in. If that's peer pressure, go for it.

[NCfuncouple98]

Interesting that you started this thread. I was reading the other one to Mr. NC the other night, and when I hit that phrase we both just looked at each other. My first thought was "uh-oh". And it may be ok for them, really, and would love to hear them talk about it. But if Mr NC wouldn't do that for me, and I wanted it - but he did it with a swing partner ...... I can see a long discussion afterwards.

The only other scenario I could come up with was that she doesn't care that he doesn't do that at home, that she's not that into it either. But yet allowed a play partner to do it? Again, I just have a hard time wrapping my head around this one.

Then again, it may be a non-issue for them personally, something he won't do at home, and she doesn't mind, but they both enjoy it when playing with others, or, like mentioned above, did it out of peer pressure.

Mrs NC

[JustAskJulie]

I think there is a certain amount of peer pressure when two couples are playing (swapping) for both couples to be doing the same things. Ideally each couple should be able to focus on their own playmate and not be paying attention to the other couple playing. That would be the most enjoyable, imo. But, I think especially for newbies they want to "fit in" so they watch what their partner is doing with the other person (or the other person is doing to their partner) and feel the need to keep up.

[two4youinswva]

Original thread here for those needing to reference it.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I think there is a certain amount of peer pressure when two couples are playing (swapping) for both couples to be doing the same things.

I agree with this. I can recall a few times early on when I'd be performing oral, then look over and see that Mrs two4you and her partner had already moved on to intercourse. I'd think to myself "Hey, I'm just getting warmed up here!". It took a few times of playing for me to relax and just do our own thing, no matter what was happening on the other side of the bed or room.

[swing_style]

I would definitely have a problem if I saw my man doing something for a swing partner that he wouldn't do for me! Now if I didn't like it that would be different and I would tell him to go for it.

As for keeping up with whats happening in the other bed or next to us, we don't have a problem there, we both tend to work at our own speed and don't feel the need to be doing the same things.

This thread reminds me of a situation that occurred many years ago where we had met this couple and we had adjoining rooms, well the husband of the other couple saw his wife performing a BJ on my man and he flew off the handle....didn't even wait to leave before he started in on her, because she would not give him BJ's at home. An experience I never care to relive again! Needless to say that was the first and last time we saw them

P

[shes_in_parties]

Hey, swinging makes us all better lovers, right? Hopefully this will be the case for this couple as well.

[Mr. Sweet]

I have to agree with the rest of everyone and say that I'm scratching my head a bit with this one. Granted, we don't have the whole story and know whether or not there was long discussion after they finished up or not. However, I know that I would have issues with the misses if she wouldn't go down on me and then said sure to a play partner.

As for the peer pressure, I can see that one because I kind of felt similar in the beginning.

On the lighter side......

....after they guys finished going down on the girls, did they come up and have the "Tastes Great, Less Filling" debate???

[lardub]

I can't understand this one, for one we are fairly open and the only act that the Mrs won't do is anal, at least not alot she will agree once or twice a year and as I have matured and learned not to simply push my way in she does seem to enjoy it but, if I seen her having anal sex with someone I would be a little PO and a talk would be first an the agenda following the date. Now anal I can understand as it can be painful, not being female can going down be painful. the Mrs loves it and at times I think would be content being licked for hours, is it the hubby was not doing it right so she put a stop to it.

[sweet_tna]

On one hand, I can see where the OP felt the need to be "in sync" with what his wife and the other Mr. are doing, but still . . .

Not only do I wonder why he went ahead with something he didn't really want to do, but why he doesn't do this with his wife?

When it comes to oral attention, I'm spoiled rotten. As keeping pace with my honey and his partner . . . I gave up on that awhile ago.

=)

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by PB&J

My automatic response to that comment was, well, good luck in the lifestyle. I have found that almost universally, lifestyle men are VERY enthusiastic practitioners of cunnilingus- either that, or they are very good at pretending to be.

Really?? Unfortunately for MrsVan this has not been the case. I would say that more often than not they have been good, but there have been more then she cares to remember that have been just plain terrible.

Now for the OP, IF MrsVan did something with a playmate that she wouldn't do for me AND it was something I had wanted, then yea you bet there would be a very long conversation after the play date about it. Now if it was something that I didn't like then hey no big deal. Example, I am not really into the entire spanking thing, giving that is. There is just something deeply rooted inside me that I just can't bring myself to hit a woman, even if it is for sex/pleasure and she wants it. I can once in a while but it won't be hard and it just doesn't feel right to me. Now we have had playmates in the past that loved it and we have a potential play mate now that loves to do it and can't with his wife because she doesn't like it. So in that instance, when/if he where to do that for MrsVan I would not be upset.

Now I would really have a few questions for the guy that made the post. First why don't you like it?? I mean I know we all have our own preferences, but I can't even imagine not wanting to go there. For me performing oral on MrsVan or my playmate as important as actual intercourse!

Now this thread had brought back to mind another question which I am going to put in a different thread, but it came up last week while hanging around our pool with some friends...

-Van

[ownerspet]

Originally Posted by driveajeepnaked

Will a person do something with a playmate that they won't think of doing with their own spouse?? Even if the spouse would like it? Peer pressure?

Val

I think this is really odd, because if I'm comfortable doing something with someone else, I'm probably more comfortable doing it with my wife. I would also think if he is willing to go down on the other woman, but not his wife; I'm thinking it may cause problems between him and his wife to say the least. But remaining open, intuitively it could be several reasons, but three come to mind. Three reasons could have caused him to do something not normally done for his spouse:

1. As you said peer pressure. Just like any situation, Vanilla or Neopolitan, some people just are looking to be accepted and try to do what's expected. I think what our parental units said sometimes about, "if they jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff," sometimes needs to be said in all settings, vanilla or not.

This is especially true in swinging, because you as a person and as a couple have to do what you're comfortable with, and not try to live up to everyone elses expectations. So in swinging, the old addage quoted above would probably read something to the affect of, "If they screwed a goat, would you screw a goat", and you have to be ready to draw the line at screwing goats.

Obviously the goat is an extreme metaphor, but whatever your goat is you have to be willing to just be laid back and speak up or just not participate when it appears that the expectation is something you are uncomfortable with. It's not always easy in the heat of the moment, but no one is forcing any of us to do anything.

2. His wife may not normally let him go down her, because it may not do much for her (even though from my experiece women who don't get much from oral is few and far between). Even though she may not enjoy it much, she may not have wanted to stop the other guy due to not wanting to push him away all together. The possibility of him wanting to go down on a woman and her possibly not wanting oral sex and not speaking up creates a situation. This situation (if the case) definitily lends itself to this occuring.

3. It could be the heat of the moment. He could have suppressed fantasies about going down on a woman, and he never felt comfortable going down on any woman or expressing himself to his wife. In our society sometimes people suppress desires for years out of the irrational fear of rejection. So the setting may have been just right for him to act on it.

Thats my 2 cents......