Would You Share Your Condoms?

[Spoomonkey]

I was talking to a friend here about an experience we had with a single male some time ago. It was a first "play" situation and we were clear that condoms were expected.

The guy turned out to be fairly well endowed; the kind of gear that requires the larger size wrapper. When "condom time" arrived he pulled out one of the cheap thick skinned, average size condoms that you might buy in a truck stop bathroom.

Needless to say - it didn't fit.

He couldn't put it on and maintain his erection.

This led to him asking (in a mock casual voice) if we ever play without.

End play date.

It struck me as a bit odd that a guy who said he had a lot of experience seemed to have no clue what condom size he needed. Was it a ploy to go without? Did he really buy one at the last minute when he knew ahead of time that there would be play? Did he simply have no experience with "safe sex"?

I actually use condoms that would have worked and did have mine with me, but the whole thing felt wrong to me. So - I let him flounder and leave. After all, I don't use condoms with Mrs Spoo and couldn't have been expected to provide them. I didn't feel very benevolent.

I have had men right before play come to me and ask if I had one. Spur of the moment situations can leave anyone in a bind. I have no problem with that and do carry extra just in case that happens. But this wasn't a "spur of the moment" kind of thing.

Mrs Spoo was upset as well and was glad I didn't offer one of mine.

What would you have done? And do you know what condom size works for you? How long did it take you to figure that out?

Spoomonkey

[TNT]

Maybe I'm looking at things a bit different.

I agree that everyone should carry their own condoms and know what size works for them...to me that's just common courtesy. Especially when you know there's going to be play.

However, when we invite someone to play with us and if it's our rule that condoms are required then, I make sure I have plenty on hand. In fact, I keep them on hand at all times in a range of sizes (flavors and colors ). If we've invited someone to play I don't want a little thing like them not having condoms on hand to spoil my fun. It's no skin off my nose to reach over, grab a handful and tell them to take their pick. Now, if they refuse to wear one, then play time would come to a halt.

So, to answer the question...Would we share our condoms? You bet.


Teresa

[LikeMinds321]

Spoo ~ We would have handled the situation as you did.

I don't like to babysit adults. If I sense a person is habitually irresponsible, expects others to be responsible for them, it's a turn off.

More important, this guy was playing you. I am also turned off by people who are trying to pull one over on others.

Not to have you all think we're stingy with condoms, we are happy to hand them out when we find ourselves in an unplanned play situation.

LM

[two4youinswva]

Last month we went to a party. We had to get ready last-minute, and we forgot several things. Unfortunately, condoms were one of the things we forgot.

We didn't realize we had forgotten the condom bag until everyone was naked. Fortunately, we were playing with some couples we've had experience with, and they just laughed at/with us, and pulled out a bucket full.

Now, had we been hooking up with a new (to us) couple, we'd have felt like complete asses. If the roles were reversed, and a new couple pulled this on us, we'd be suspicious as well. If it was a couple we'd had previous experience with, we'd laugh it off as well.

So, I guess if it was a new play date that had been planned, and he showed up without condoms, I'd feel the way Spoo did, and would probably do the same thing.
Especially if he brought just one inner-tube style condom. What's up with that? We can go through several condoms during a play session, between playing, taking a break, etc. etc.

[MRSfun]

Oh my god, fun4ds is laughing his ass off. Reading or rather misreading the thread title, I thought you meant would you share A condom

I have my glasses on now

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by MRSfun

I thought you meant would you share A condom

Well, if it was a really big condom, and she wanted some DP action, I guess I could............

[sweet_tna]

We always bring condoms with us anywhere we think play might happen. Heck, sometimes, we BOTH have them on us, just in case the other forgot.

Now I'd be willing to bet ya'll told this dude that condoms were required for intercourse, which to me is a warning that he should be prepared to bring some. Strike one.

He only brought one, and one that didn't even fit. I agree that he should have brought something that he knew would work. (Methinks something is rotten in the state of Denmark). Strike two.

Then the guy has the nerve to ask if ya'll play without at that point (when you're already not too impressed with him). Strike three, he's OUT.

Now had this guy been a friend/playmate you knew better, or just not had a neon "asshole" sign flashing above his head, I imagine you would have felt more magnanimous.

And that's pretty much the basis upon which we'd make our decision.

=)

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by MRSfun

Oh my god, fun4ds is laughing his ass off. Reading or rather misreading the thread title, I thought you meant would you share A condom

So did you picture it as one guy after the other or both trying to wear it at the same time? I'm thinking if they wore it at the same time the play date would end with an awkward visit to the emergency room...

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

Now had this guy been a friend/playmate you knew better, or just not had a neon "asshole" sign flashing above his head, I imagine you would have felt more magnanimous.

Absolutely!

We've had that happen - like two4youinswva said. No problem there. We even have a couple of sizes, just in case.

It was the complete lack of "planning" on his part that bugged me. The whole wrong size thing made me scratch my head. I mean, just like learning to tie our skates is the first thing you need to learn before you play hockey, using a condom should be the first thing you learn before swinging (unless you are a "no condom" couple).

Spoomonkey

[LFM2]

Ummm... yeah. I think I would have handled this particular situation exactly the same. I don't have a problem with giving them out, but not in this situation. I agree with LM and he was a player.

We were at a couples house without condoms one night. They didn't offer Dave one and I don't think he asked for one, so he was totally soft swap all that night, while I was enjoying the full swap with her husband. Really, had I known that he forgot and they didn't offer, I think we both shoulda gone soft swap or went home. I wonder sometimes if we (Dave) weren't played that night.

Now, I've never bought condoms from a truck stop bathroom, and I don't know the quality of the condoms that come out of there, but we actually pack condoms all over the place when we go play. Some in his pocket, some in my purse and some in our play bag. We know what size is good but keep a few other sizes for others who may forget.
We want everyone to have fun!!

[TNT]

Spoo (and everyone else), Please don't take this the wrong way...you two made a decision and it was the right decision for you two at the time but...

I'm really left scratching my head over this one. I just don't see what the big deal is. The guy forgot condoms...it does happen even when it's a planned play date. There were condoms available but it was decided not to offer them and the play date was ended.

I can see where the guy might have thought if he showed up without any (or one the wrong size in this case) that he would/could possibly get some without having to wear one but...if one had been offered to him wouldn't that have turned the tables on him if in deed he was trying to play you two? Had one been offered and he then refused it and/or pouted in anyway about having to wear one, then that would have been the point where I would have called an end to the evenings activities.

As I said...I guess I'm seeing things a bit different. Ted is on his way home so when he gets here I'll have him read this thread and see if he can give me a better insight as to why I'm totally just not getting this one.


On a side note: This does remind me of a time we met a very nice gentleman for a "get to know each other" drink...we hadn't planned on playing that night so didn't go prepared for play. As it turned out, we really hit it off and decided to play. Unfortunately we had no condoms and neither did he so...off to Wally-World we went. I've often wondered what the check-out person thought when all three of us went through the line together and the only thing that was purchased was a box of condoms


Teresa

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by TNT

I'm really left scratching my head over this one. I just don't see what the big deal is. The guy forgot condoms...it does happen even when it's a planned play date. There were condoms available but it was decided not to offer them and the play date was ended.

No offense at all, Teresa. I think you are one of those people who could kick me in the face and I'd have a tough time being offended (though I beg you not to make me prove it).

There certainly could have been other factors that I am not thinking about that played into it. He was kind of selfish and pretty much laid back, but really I think the condom thing bugged me.

We've had it happen before and each time the male (married and single) has come to me and told me they need a condom. That is perfectly fine. But I kind of resonate with Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) from Fight Club when he tells Ed Norton to cut the foreplay and just ask. Maybe it was the fact that he just never approached either of us. Even when it didn't work he never asked - he went straight to "do you play without?"

Maybe it was the timing of the question...

I've had guys ask for condoms, ask to make sure certain things were okay in bed, I even had a guy whip out his tackle box and ask me if Mrs Spoo would be bothered by his "Prince Albert" (not my favorite memory that).

But here's a guy with experience (per him) who didn't know what his condom size was. For me there are a lot of red flags with that. Heck - had he just out and out forgot it that might have been a different story (unless he went for the no-condom kill).

But I know what you are saying, Teresa, and a different view definitely gets the discussion going!



Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LFM2

Some in his pocket, some in my purse and some in our play bag.

Like a ninja hiding weapons...

I'm the same way. In fact, any time I am going to be in a social situation, I carry some in my pocket. The reason for me is more mental - condoms make me feel like I am getting up to no good. It makes me more social and flirty - even if I have no intention of using them.

Spoomonkey

[J&JSwinginPA]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Maybe it was the timing of the question...

It sounds like there was some kind of inflection or little nuance about this situation that immediately sent up your defenses. Something made you uneasy, you made the right call, the wife supports the decision. Well played in my book.

[todesireu]

No condom, no play and we always carry plenty.( in the right size, too)