How long do you need to talk before going for it?

[The Fuse]

Twice recently, I was in situations where I could've had sex with men I found fairly attractive, but both times I'd barely spoken to them for 30 seconds. Once was at a swing club, and once was at a house party. I just find that I need a certain connection before I am ready. I have to talk to someone for, say, half an hour before I have any sense of who they are, before they seem more than two-dimensional to me, if that makes any sense. I need a little bit of a connection before I can get wet.

How do others feel about this? How long do you need or want to spend talking to someone before getting hot and heavy?

I am going to try to post a poll, but I've never done that before so I might screw it up.

[JustAskJulie]

For me it really depends on the person. There are those I'm attracted to based on looks alone and the "I don't even need to know their name" applies. In fact, those are the ones where most often if I spend too much time talking to them they may undo the attraction I have.

Then there are others where I need a little more mental attraction, and I'd say in general that's the 10-30 minute variety.

[Spoomonkey]

I've had one experience where I didn't know the woman's name. We were matched up to play her and her husband at pool and the chemistry between her and I was immediate. If we'd have turned off the lights there'd have been sparks.

As soon as the game was over (and I scratched to lose and they bowed out of the tournament) we were in a room. It was one of those great experiences for me - and one of those lousy ones for Mrs Spoo (different topic).

And I have no idea what her name was.

I'd be okay with that again. When chemistry is undeniable talking about it is just stalling.

But typically we can tell if there is a chemistry for BOTH of us (now that we HAVE mastered our communication about 'taking one for the team') within an hour.

Spoomonkey

[Willing29]

I think you left one out of the poll, how about.....
I did you three different times and I still dont know your name.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

I have to talk to someone for, say, half an hour before I have any sense of who they are, before they seem more than two-dimensional to me, if that makes any sense. I need a little bit of a connection before I can get wet.

I ask this out of pure curiousity: what about those times when you're already very horny? Perhaps you've been playing in the group room for a bit and someone you find very attractive walks by?

Generally I like a bit of time to get to know someone, partially because I really enjoy the flirting and anticipation; but like Julie there are other times where pure physical attraction is enough for me to forgo introductions!

[sweet_tna]

In general, I like having at least a few minutes to talk to someone and determine if there's any kind of connection. But sometimes. . . you find that magic combination of hormones and chemistry and . . . BAM! You just go for it.

=)

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by Willing29

. . . I did you three different times and I still don't know your name.

I'm glad somebody else said this first or I would never have admitted it on my own. The funny part is the woman did not even care that I did not remember her name. Just for the record, I now remember it perfectly well.

[VanHlebar]

I voted for about 30 minutes or so, however like some of the others, one of the most memorable times for me (not necessarily one of the best, just memorable) was a time I never got the name of the two ladies we played with and to this day we have never seen these folks again.

MrsVan and I had gone up into the public play area of our local club and while I was on my back and MrsVan was riding me, this lady walked past me and smiled. I smiled back up at her and she leaned over and whispered into my ear if it was ok to get a kiss. So I said sure, that kiss led to her straddling my face and well the rest kind of gets fuzzy, but I know their where 6 bodies and lots of fun.

So I think it sort of depends on the situation for me. If I am attracted to the person physically then I really don't need much time, but more often than not, over the years I have found that getting to know someone really helps me out. I love woman that can flirt and aren't afraid to be aggressive about what they want. So with those types, I need some time to flirt an get going.

-Van

[The Fuse]

Wow, with all the "friends first" profiles out there, I thought we'd be hearing from them on this thread. Anyone? Anyone?

[NCfuncouple98]

I voted 3 hours, pretty much the whole evening. Now that doesn't mean I really do need the whole evening, but at this point both Mr NC and I need the flirting, chemistry, dancing, etc., to feel comfortable enough. Maybe a lot of that is newness and still some shyness. We've not met anyone that we felt we could run upstairs with in less than 30 minutes.

We don't necessarily want or need friendship, but enough of a connection that we're comfortable, hot and ready to jump into bed together.

[cocpl2007]

Not being a couple who partakes of "parties" or "clubs" to meet like-minded couples... we are not going to play with you the first time we meet you, perhaps not even the second. Our interest is long-term, not single evenings/performances.