Sometimes schedules just don't mesh

[NCfuncouple98]

Well, life just happens doesn't it.

A few weeks ago we were contacted by a couple and we were interested in meeting them. Due to an upcoming vacation and school events, we were honest that we don't get out often, and the next time we could meet would be this weekend. They were fine with that and looking forward to it.

So a few emails this week deciding day/time. We usually go out on Friday nights due to early Sunday am commitments, but this weekend is commitment-free, so we can actually go out on Saturday night! We planned it this way so that we could enjoy ourselves without the stress of the next day plans.

Mr NC works until 7pm on Saturdays, every Saturday. We let them know this, and that he is a mechanic and therefore must come home and clean up. And, unfortunately, if he's finishing up a car with a customer waiting, he can't just walk out at 7. Such is the life of a mechanic.

Their last Swing Lifestyle message was "Well if this Saturday isn't good we can try another weekend". I did respond that unfortunately this is a normal schedule for us. I also left a message on his cell phone. No further response.

I guess meeting for drinks betwen 8-9 pm is just too late for some. Believe me, on a normal "school night", we're in bed by 10pm, so we are not normally night owls. But this is our schedule right now, take it or leave it, it's all we can offer. They did offer a "Sunday afternoon meet for drinks", but since Mr. NC and I only have 2 days off a month together, which are on Sundays, those days are reserved for family and NASCAR only. (And thanks to a recent post by Julie, I will be sure to leave NASCAR and fishing OFF the discussion list! )

Oh well, we are looking forward to going to our local on-premise club on a Saturday. The last 1/2 dozen times we were there was on Friday nights, where it does tend to be a lot slower. We're excited about going on a Saturday, so we will just make the best of it, and wish this other couple well. We're thinking of starting at the strip club..... Owned by the same owner as our club, so discounts are offered if you go to both........ We will find some fellow weekend night owls!

Mrs. NC

[BiloxiCouple]

Yep, alot of times schedules don't mesh in normal life, let alone a swinging life. Have to be patient and maybe flexible.

[NCfuncouple98]

We are patient, and it's ok with us that our schedule doesn't work for them. No problem. And we're as flexible as we can be, but unfortunately do have this work schedule that just isn't flexible. We are probably better off just going to the on-premise club when we have a night available, rather than try to set anything up. The club doesn't pick up until well after 9pm.

Or perhaps it's better to find a couple to meet AT the club at that hour, and those that don't understand that we just can't meet for drinks at 6pm, well, we just have to pass until something in his work schedule changes.

[realcplub2]

We have run into a few different types of people within the lifestyle

Those that feel when they have free time, eveyone else should drop what they are doing and come play with them.. "Its 3:45 now, can you be here by 4:30?"

Empty Nesters or those that are retired/ in business for themselves, that now are free, and forget that gee, when you have family at home, a regular job, and your schedules revolve around THEM not the other way around. They laugh as they remember what its like to chase after Highschoolers in athletics, or whatever, then in the next breath ask what you are doing AFTERWARDS.. Or dont understand why you cant meet for an evening, that you have to be in a 7am..

Then there are those that are unwilling to take into account that "dates" have to be scheduled a couple weeks in advance.

We are of the same group ourselves, as the original poster.

When our kids were smaller it was actually easier for us to get out and play than it is now. We could set dates, because my wife controled the work schedule then, Nice to be the manager rather thant he assistant.. we would get granma to watch the kids, and off we would go for an evening..

Now the kids are 10 years older, and the idea of going to grams is like asking them to do the impossible. While yes they are older, in some cases thats just the bigger trouble they can get into.. so overnight playtimes are a bitch.. to put it bluntly.

We are up front with those we talk to, and for the most part they are understanding of schedules, because most have the same type of lifestyle.. Kiddies, and Jobs, lol

Keep the faith!! it does work out.. If you run up against those that arent willing to work with you both.. forget em and move on.. There are folks out there that will..

[sweet_tna]

I hear you, loud and clear! Mr. Sweet and I have M-F jobs, but we both have to get up early during the week, so we're used to very late nights on weekends. But we have a few friends for whom a weeknight would work best, so scheduling with those folks is like nailing Jello to a wall.

We've found we either have to schedule dates several weeks in advance, or ask folks to meet us at a social we plan to attend. At least in the latter case, if the other folks can't make it or we don't hit it off with them, we still have other options.

=)

[LFM2]

We also run into the "schedules suck for us too", category. Summer time is extremely busy for Dave. I might see him 25 times throughout the whole summer. My schedule year round is same. I work a set schedule of every third weekend and various day in between. Sometimes the only weekend he comes home is the weekend I have to work. It just sucks sometimes, but it all works out in the end.

Sometimes we also have to schedule many weeks in advance. Sometimes not. I wish it were simpler.

[NCfuncouple98]

Well they did contact us again and agreed to meet Friday at 7:30 just for drinks, which we have agreed to.

So maybe sometimes it just takes a while to MAKE schedules mesh.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

Well they did contact us again and agreed to meet Friday at 7:30 just for drinks, which we have agreed to.

So maybe sometimes it just takes a while to MAKE schedules mesh.

Exactly. Let us know how that goes.

=)

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

I can totally relate to an inability to meet. I travel for work and planning things much more than a week in advance is simply disastrous.

I saw a couple on Swing Lifestyle that I liked, and emailed them. They were not able to get a sitter for the upcoming weekend. Early the next week business called and I was sent away for about 5 weeks to supervise a project.

Sometimes I walk in the office and find airline tickets on my desk and a note that says "buy me a shot glass".......

We kept in touch via the internet and we were able to use the time to get to know each other much better. I learned that in person she was very very shy.

Through email I would have never suspected it and was happy for the heads up. About 6 or 7 weeks later we met for a quick dinner and we totally hit it off. Its like we were long lost pals and we ended up playing that night....for about 5 hours. It was a work night and we were all exhausted the next day. I think I walked on the treadmill instead of running the next morning at the gym!!

So good things do come to those who wait........

Kyle

[JustAskJulie]

I think this is why clubs work much better for some people. It's so hard to nail people down, that it's just easier to visit a club or a social and see what happens that to go through all the trouble of trying to set up something.

As for the Nascar and fishing - I think the moral there is that if you bring it up and the other person isn't holding their end of the conversation on the topic, it's probably a good idea to move on to a different topic, or shut up long enough for them to pick a different topic. Then again we've met a few people who don't seem to realize that they are completely dominating the conversation and not letting the other people get a word in edgewise to have a chance to change the subject.

[NCfuncouple98]

We met, had to call and tell them we were running late, because inevitably the night we have plans, Mr NC did get stuck working on a vehicle with a customer waiting! We were only 15 minutes late, and they were understanding.

We had a great time, just drinks and conversation, now working on matching our schedules to see each other again.

[sweet_tna]

Glad to hear ya'll finally got to meet, and it went well enough that you're trying to schedule them in again.

=)

[smoothwaitress]

Scheduling for us it can be a real headache. I and my husband both work in the hospitality industry. We only have one day off together, Sunday. Most couples are recovering from Sat night. We used to live in Tampa and there was a club that had a Sunday party it was great. We recently moved back to the NJ/Phila area and haven't found anything like that here. Maybe we should start a site for people who don't work traditional hours. If anyone knows of a club that is open on Sundays , Or better yet if there are any people out there in a simlar situation let us know.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

We met, had to call and tell them we were running late, because inevitably the night we have plans, Mr NC did get stuck working on a vehicle with a customer waiting! We were only 15 minutes late, and they were understanding.

We had a great time, just drinks and conversation, now working on matching our schedules to see each other again.

So do they fish or enjoy Nascar ?

We fish

[NCfuncouple98]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

So do they fish or enjoy Nascar ?

We fish

Actually the schedules never meshed again......

That's ok, this was 2 1/2 months ago and we are going out and having fun, and place less emphasis on having to meet for drinks, friendships, etc. We just go to the club and enjoy.

Poor Mr NC has had to deal with getting to the club, going up to the bar only to see a night race on....He's very patient with me watching it, but I always make it up to him later.