Top 10 Stupid Things to Do in Swinging

[grabbyzz]

Making rules that you don't keep yourself...Yes I've had it happen.

[ktimephoenix]

making unnatural or unnatennable rules

(like one couple we were back and forthing with on the net had a rule that neither partner could kiss during foreplay, but could kiss during sex, but only if both partners kissed their swing partners at the same time).

and one i'm guilty of.

expecting 4 people to hit it off, be attracted enough to one another to have sex, all within 10 minutes of meeting.

[Expulsion]

Jumping into swinging without being absolutely sure it's what you want.
Not being honest with your partner if you have any reservations about it!

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

Ok, I "quoted" this from FUSE and then read the rest of the thread before writing..

The word "surprise" is subjective.. As was stated by a few, some people are into it, but with conditions. My lovely, is one of these, she has fantasies, or surprise gangbangs or encounters..

Now before anyone goes off on a tangent, allow me to state everyone knows I preach fantasy and reality are two very different things.. Safety and Security being the chief issues with fantasies such as this.. But it is possible..

We have done it a few times, with a small difference, Its a surprise in the sense, that she doesnt know WHEN, but is aware it CAN happen anytime within a certain time frame.. I usually use a month, all the while knowing the target date. Beyond that she has an exact idea as to the fun for the evening.

Now on to the next..

Originally Posted by grabbyzz

Making rules that you don't keep yourself...Yes I've had it happen.

Lets be clear, while yes comprimising ones own rules is never a good thing.. Personal preferences and Experience, tends to make rules...

EVOLVE

And even more importantly, when caught up in the moment there are plenty of things that were a No GO, that suddenly are wanted even requested..

A no kissing rule can go by the way side fast..

But to answer Grabby directly, It really depends on the subject/rule in question, And Why the double standard occured..

Now here are the HIGHLIGHTS from the entire list that stood out..
__________________________________________________ _____

- Thinking that just because someone is a swinger they are going to have sex with you.
- Being pushy and over bearing when the situation doesn't call for it (some people like dominated some don't)
- Playing with an Ex
- Trying to play with vanilla friends
- Playing with co-workers
- Getting shit faced/sloppy drunk, before activities even begin, or Getting way to wasted that you can't even undress yourself,Needing to get drunk or buzzed, before you can consider play
- Playing with relatives
- Expecting your partner to, or hoping your partner will, 'take one for the team.'
- Developing deep emotional ties with swing partners
- Turning to swinging to try and improve a dead/dying relationship with issues.
- Not communicating openly and honestly with your partner, no matter what.
- Getting into a political, religious, or any other kind of controversial discussion anywhere even remotely near a lifestyle function of any type.
- Setting your expectations so high that there's no possible way for anyone to possibly meet them.
- taking really sexy pictures of her in that cute piece of lingerie, while she's posing in front of a stack of dirty dishes or a weeks worth of dirty laundry that's in the floor.
- getting jealous - get jealous of your partner being pleasured by someone else.
- Gossiping about everyone and wondering why no one plays with you.
- Touching or pokin' without permission.
- Breaking out the camera and saying SMILE!! Without permission...
- Assuming you will be friends with the other couple before having sex with them.
- Assuming they are there for the same reason you are.
- Agreeing to share a hotel room for the night before getting their 'play' rules / aggreeing to share a hotel room with a couple that you haven't actually met and established that there is mutual interest.
- Not talking to the female half of the couple via phone before agreeing to meet.
- Thinking 'well they have a very long profile with a lot of rules, so they must really know what they want'.
- Assuming the people you will meet will all be honest, and sane.
– Assuming you won't have ANY jealousy issues the first time you swap.
– Assuming that its better to find partners separately the first time you swing.
- Not speaking up if either one of you is not having fun or enjoying themselves
- Assume that a bi female will automatically be attracted to you because you're a woman. < How about this change, Because they are bi, they need to/will play with the same sex everytime>
- Not being honest with your partner or prospective playmates

[exploringRM]

- Getting into a political, religious, or any other kind of controversial discussion anywhere even remotely near a lifestyle function of any type.

This one sticks out for me as one of the swinger sites I belong to has a blog, where people just post inline, a list of messages. The amount of political discussions in there are ridiculous. Sports talk as well (I'm not a sports fan). And not just Sports talk, but almost arguments.

Based on some of the blogger's comments, I just would never want to met them..such a turn off.

[rathor]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/l...tyoudidCat.jpg

Ha..ha... nice one ..

[rathor]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by rathor

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

Because (based on responses I've previously seen here on this subject) most women do not like to be surprised with a situation where she is expected to fuck men she has never even met before.

My wife is quite adamant about this. She has said she'd be fine with being surprised by a gang bang, with as many men as I could muster together in one room. The one requirement is that all men involved have to be men she has previously had swinging sex with, and enjoyed it.

Before this spins out of control Might I suggest we split this off into another thread?

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by rathor

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

Sorry for being unclear. By "surprise" I meant without any reason to believe one's loved one would be happy with the situation. I had in mind people who've not even talked about swinging, or at least not seriously.

[toofartoosee]

As I read this, I think that there might be room for things not to do before swinging.

One that jumps to mind is. Take you time when shaving!!!!

No , no Don't mind the band aid, It's cool, really...

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by rathor

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

You don't get this because you are not married and have had limited experience with women (per your own posts). Once you've had a little more experience with women and how they react to things, then you will probably get it.

[onaughtyus2]

Originally Posted by slevin

Turning to swinging to try and improve a dead/dying sex life or a relationship with issues.

HAve to agree with this one here.

[belgiumcoast]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

While I do agree that in 99% of the cases this is a very bad idea, it can be a stunning good one too...
My wife surprised me 2x with this. The first time was my birthday, and due to 'not having time' she told me that she hadn't been able to arrange a birthday party. That night at 6pm my mother called me if we were at home because she had some free cinema tickets that would expire soon and she would take the kids with her. About an hour later our swinger friends arrived and I had a great birthday party (the kids slept at my mothers place).

The second time was we were going to visit some relatives of her (very boring people), so I hated this trip.
Actually we never arrived there (there was no visit planned) but we stopped at a club we never had visited before (she had her sexy outfit in the back of the car) and she had arranged to meet a few couples that we know.

[belgiumcoast]

I actually forgot nr 3: she booked a swinger-sailing vacation without me knowing and it proved to be SUPER (we went again the next year and are planning to go this year too.

[djjwp]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

Gossiping about everyone and wondering why no one plays with you.

BINGO, met a couple that he thought we should know everyone they played with and how long a list it was. I'm not sure but I think he was thinking this was a job interview.

Discretion folks, discretion.