Is Polygamy a form of swinging?

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-06-2009, 03:14 PM

I just saw this question posted on Yahoo Answers and it got me thinking... so I thought I'd ask it here.

Is polygamy (group marriage) a form of swinging? It's consensual... it involves sex with others... but the others involved are also part of the primary relationship...

So what are you thoughts?

lustylearning · 01-06-2009, 05:03 PM

I would say polygamy is a formalized marital arrangement which involves more than two partners. This is opposite to swinging, which is, at its core, non-committal.

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-06-2009, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lustylearning

I would say polygamy is a formalized marital arrangement which involves more than two partners. This is opposite to swinging, which is, at its core, non-committal.

Ok then, is polyamory committal?

IvoryTowers · 01-06-2009, 05:31 PM

Polyamory and swinging are related and both forms of consensual non-monogamy. But I wouldn't say they are the same.

From what I've seen so far, the goal of swinging is to have sex with people outside the primary one, but to keep emotional fidelity. Polyamory's stated goal is to form relationships (and however long lasting or not those relationships are, at base relationships are about commitment and emotional connection).

lustylearning · 01-06-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Ok then, is polyamory committal?

I think in polyamory, there is a level of commitment, though there may be no demand of exclusivity or formalization.

Funny, I was thinking earlier that polygamy is probably a form of polyamory, and polyamory may be a form of swinging, but I couldn't come to the conclusion that polygamy is swinging.

But I really have no clue

The Fuse · 01-06-2009, 05:41 PM

Swinging is about swapping partners for sex, or loaning out your spouse, or borrowing someone else's spouse, or otherwise having sex where at least one participant is in a relationship with someone but having sex that includes someone other than their usual partner.

Polygamy is usually about a permanent marital-type arrangement that involves a man and more than one woman. As far as I know, no swapping or loaning is implied. It may be consensual, but it is usually tinged by the participants' religious beliefs and so there is a set of expectations that can create pressure.

Polyamory is about loving more than one, and usually involves having sex with more than one person on a regular, loving basis. It is not "swapping" because all members of the relationship are thought of as one unit, although there may be primary-secondary type dynamics.

Just my opinions... like they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. I must have multiple assholes, because I have a lot of opinions. It is too bad I don't like anal.

All right... backing away from the keyboard...

IvoryTowers · 01-06-2009, 06:03 PM

Mr. Ivory just pointed out that I misread the question. Polygamy is not in any way a form of swinging, since it is simply group marriage (technically it is the marriage of one man to several wives, polyandry is the general term for group marriage).

Just because there are multiple spouses doesn't, to me, suggest that there is any opening up of the marriage, or an acceptance of non-monogamy (especially for the wives!).

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-06-2009, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IvoryTowers

Just because there are multiple spouses doesn't, to me, suggest that there is any opening up of the marriage, or an acceptance of non-monogamy (especially for the wives!).

Is it still monogamy if there are multiple wives (or husbands)?

lustylearning · 01-06-2009, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Is it still monogamy if there are multiple wives (or husbands)?

No!!! I'm sure of it

I think Ivory Towers meant marital fidelity rather than monogamy. I think

Chicup · 01-06-2009, 08:13 PM

On paper, I'd say no, its very different.

In reality yes. As long as people have 'primaries' and situations where every partner isn't in equal partnership, then its pretty much swinging.

I have run into more than one person that says they are 'poly' because it sounds better than swinger.

bbarnsworth · 01-07-2009, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Is it still monogamy if there are multiple wives (or husbands)?

How about polymonogamous?

I think that's a contradiction in terms. Like Central Intelligence Agency.

rpu3 · 01-07-2009, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Is it still monogamy if there are multiple wives (or husbands)?

In the poly world, and perhaps applicable to the polygamy set, the term often used is "polyfidelity".

ncmd_couple · 01-08-2009, 12:30 AM

Labels.... Damn the things. Think of it as a circle, people are on different places in the circle. A monogamous couple, next to a swinging couple, next to a polyamory what ever, next to a polygamy couple, next to the monogamous couple.

S

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-08-2009, 02:17 PM

FWIW, I'm not trying to set or create any labels. But the question got me thinking and it was one that I found I couldn't really answer for myself. I like to think, and I thought that bringing it here others might address issues that would make me think more (and they have). This may be one of those things where there's no real answer (other than the ones we create for ourselves) but it can be interesting to discuss the various thoughts surrounding the question.

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01-06-2009, 03:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Is Polygamy a form of swinging? I just saw this question posted on Yahoo Answers and it got me thinking... so I thought I'd ask it here. Is polygamy (group marriage) a form of swinging? It's consensual... it involves sex with others... but the others involved are also part of the primary relationship... So what are you thoughts?

01-06-2009, 05:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
lustylearning Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 814 Location: Virginia Status: female half	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? I would say polygamy is a formalized marital arrangement which involves more than two partners. This is opposite to swinging, which is, at its core, non-committal.

01-06-2009, 05:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
IvoryTowers Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 303 Location: Philadelphia Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:ivorytowers	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? Polyamory and swinging are related and both forms of consensual non-monogamy. But I wouldn't say they are the same. From what I've seen so far, the goal of swinging is to have sex with people outside the primary one, but to keep emotional fidelity. Polyamory's stated goal is to form relationships (and however long lasting or not those relationships are, at base relationships are about commitment and emotional connection).
	__________________ Intellectuals searching for mind-body fusion

01-06-2009, 05:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
The Fuse Way too opinionated Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,826 Location: Southeastern Virginia Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:The_Fuse	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? Swinging is about swapping partners for sex, or loaning out your spouse, or borrowing someone else's spouse, or otherwise having sex where at least one participant is in a relationship with someone but having sex that includes someone other than their usual partner. Polygamy is usually about a permanent marital-type arrangement that involves a man and more than one woman. As far as I know, no swapping or loaning is implied. It may be consensual, but it is usually tinged by the participants' religious beliefs and so there is a set of expectations that can create pressure. Polyamory is about loving more than one, and usually involves having sex with more than one person on a regular, loving basis. It is not "swapping" because all members of the relationship are thought of as one unit, although there may be primary-secondary type dynamics. Just my opinions... like they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. I must have multiple assholes, because I have a lot of opinions. It is too bad I don't like anal. All right... backing away from the keyboard...
	__________________ Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

01-06-2009, 06:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
IvoryTowers Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 303 Location: Philadelphia Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:ivorytowers	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? Mr. Ivory just pointed out that I misread the question. Polygamy is not in any way a form of swinging, since it is simply group marriage (technically it is the marriage of one man to several wives, polyandry is the general term for group marriage). Just because there are multiple spouses doesn't, to me, suggest that there is any opening up of the marriage, or an acceptance of non-monogamy (especially for the wives!).
	__________________ Intellectuals searching for mind-body fusion

01-06-2009, 08:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,093 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? On paper, I'd say no, its very different. In reality yes. As long as people have 'primaries' and situations where every partner isn't in equal partnership, then its pretty much swinging. I have run into more than one person that says they are 'poly' because it sounds better than swinger.

01-08-2009, 12:30 AM	#13 (permalink)
ncmd_couple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,252 Location: North Carolina Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:ncmd_couple	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? Labels.... Damn the things. Think of it as a circle, people are on different places in the circle. A monogamous couple, next to a swinging couple, next to a polyamory what ever, next to a polygamy couple, next to the monogamous couple. S
	__________________ Try anything once, twice if it is fun, three times if it is real good!

01-08-2009, 02:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Is Polygamy a form of swinging? FWIW, I'm not trying to set or create any labels. But the question got me thinking and it was one that I found I couldn't really answer for myself. I like to think, and I thought that bringing it here others might address issues that would make me think more (and they have). This may be one of those things where there's no real answer (other than the ones we create for ourselves) but it can be interesting to discuss the various thoughts surrounding the question.

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