How good is sex with swing partners?

[My Next 65]

I wonder how good was the sex you have had with swing partners?
Ladies, how would you rate most, say 75 per cent, of the guys you have had sex with?
Great!. Touched all my buttons. Rate it an A+
Very good! Got me hot and into it. Rate it an A
Good. Just enjoyable. Rate it a B
Fair. Not all that good. Rate it a c Low. Didn't do it for me. Rate it a D
What could the guys do to make it better, what is their biggest shortcomings (no pun Ladies).

[IvoryTowers]

I think the average would probably be a B. I've had some good experiences, a few great ones and a few awful ones, so on average, B.

What would make it better? It would be great if the guys asked what worked for me in the oral department. It seems that I require a much lighter touch than most women, since almost all the men have been way too aggressive. But no one has asked what works for me (which I actually understand--detailed discussions do break up the mood).

Otherwise, what keeps encounters from being A+ is just nerves and being with a new partner!

[JustAskJulie]

I think it's really hard to rate because there are so many factors involved. I can't judge a partners "ability" when it comes to sex in swinging, because that's not the only factor I'm dealing with. If it was just a one on one sexual encounter I'd be better able to do that. But given it's a group situation with a variety of distractions, it becomes hard to really judge someone on their overall ability.

In the end, I'm not really looking for great lovers/sex partners (I get that at home) I'm just looking for a fun diversion. The journey (the chase) for me is as much (if not more) than the actual destination (the swinging sex).

[bbarnsworth]

Gentle, polite sarcasm:

Sex can only be rated on a linear scale. Either someone is better than someone else or worse. Different is a given, therefore that can not be evaluated. If you deviate from the line of good vs. bad, nobody will understand you.



Seriously, sex is like flowers in a flower shop. If you like daisies, great. Some like roses. Others like Carnations, etc. Anybody who likes any one of these flowers is not going to rate the other flowers as better or worse than a given pick. All flowers have value. Some are more fun on some days than others.

I've had sex with a number of women in my life. Some of them I miss, and wish I could have sex with them again. None of them make me enjoy sex with my wife less, nor could they replace my wife. Similarly, no matter how good the sex with my wife is, it doesn't change the fact that I enjoyed sex with these other women and I miss some of them.

[iapr]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

Gentle, polite sarcasm:

Sex can only be rated on a linear scale. Either someone is better than someone else or worse. Different is a given, therefore that can not be evaluated. If you deviate from the line of good vs. bad, nobody will understand you.



Seriously, sex is like flowers in a flower shop. If you like daisies, great. Some like roses. Others like Carnations, etc. Anybody who likes any one of these flowers is not going to rate the other flowers as better or worse than a given pick. All flowers have value. Some are more fun on some days than others.

I've had sex with a number of women in my life. Some of them I miss, and wish I could have sex with them again. None of them make me enjoy sex with my wife less, nor could they replace my wife. Similarly, no matter how good the sex with my wife is, it doesn't change the fact that I enjoyed sex with these other women and I miss some of them.

Very well said.

As far as advice goes there is an old military saying that says if you start to fight this war using using the last wars tactics you are going to get your ass kicked and that applies here as well I believe. We often go into bed using the tactics and techniques that worked on the last person and those things just do not apply anymore because each person is completely different in what they like. You hit the reset button every time you leave the house.

You really don't get anywhere asking a third party what will work on another person. You have to find out from the source.

[KinkyNeighbors]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

In the end, I'm not really looking for great lovers/sex partners (I get that at home) I'm just looking for a fun diversion. The journey (the chase) for me is as much (if not more) than the actual destination (the swinging sex).

I agree with this statement. I have great sex at home, my husband knows exactly what I like. I enjoy playing with the ladies. I like all the flirting, smooching and fondling the Christmas Eve, before the Christmas Eve part.

I'm also not afraid not ask a new playmate if what I'm doing feels good, if they want it faster, slower, deeper, softer and I enjoy getting the feedback.

Ann

[MrsHidalgo]

Like Julie's situation, MrH can give me pleasure that I can get nowhere else because he knows where, what, & when to do things.

But...another partner has that "forbidden" realm about it and I think that is what pushes me over the edge. Knowing that I'm doing something with another man and that my DH is also loving it can make an average encounter excellent.

[Chicup]

I know you are looking for sex pointers here but you won't find any.

I'd say the first 70% of it is just how turned on the other person makes you. From my male perspective, you might be the best woman on the planet at BJ's but if I'm not attracted to you, it won't rate as one of my best.

In fact one of my best swinging partners I had was a soft swing couple, but because she was 'my type' it didn't matter.

Based on what I know about women and sex, unless they are really 'into' the guy, its always going to hover around a B/B+. Her being relaxed, him knowing her personal kinks and what works for her, that sort of thing.

Two women I have played with require minor variations to have an orgasm from oral. One requires 2 fingers inside her, the other is too distracted by fingers inside but requires breast play at the same time (sometimes sex is a game of twister). If I do one like the other, it would be a 'B', only knowing their particular kinks turns that into an A.

Really though, thats all after that first 70%. Its that first 70%, that 'how receptive is she to you before the clothes are off' that makes all the difference. Thats perhaps the hardest skill to master as its based on looks and more intangible charisma. Looks we as men can work on to an extent, put down the fork and hit the gym, charisma beyond that is a lot tougher to improve, so if you find a solution to that part of the puzzle let me know.

[Day&Night]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

In the end, I'm not really looking for great lovers/sex partners (I get that at home) I'm just looking for a fun diversion. The journey (the chase) for me is as much (if not more) than the actual destination (the swinging sex).

So true ! That is exactly how we feel about swing partners !
That is why we got into it to begin with, a fun diversion and the opportunity to experiance other like-minded couples.

[NealnAnji]

Our experience is that the sex can be great to mediocre depending upon who you are playing with and fucking. And of sex and intercourse is a many dimensional thing that has at least two verty important elements-physical and mental. How good your partner is at both makes a great difference when you fuck him or her.