This life vs the vanilla one--do you cross the line?

[leftcoastcouple]

Last night, on a web site totally unrelated to swinging, first I and then Mrs. LC completed a list of questions in an "introduce yourself" thread. The questions ranged from things like interests to religion and profession, then ended with "What is your deepest secret?" Stumped for an answer, I asked Mrs. LC for a suggestion. She said she had none, so I ended up giving a goofy story from my college years.

When it was Mrs. LC's turn and she got to the last question, I jokingly suggested "I enjoy screwing guys other than my husband" or "For several years, I screwed my husband's best friend with his knowledge." She laughed the naughty sort of laugh I hoped I'd get out of her but then quickly said no way was she going to post something like that.

Then it dawned on me that, though I'd likely not have posted it either (at last I don't think I would have), the obvious answer for my secret was that I enjoy (really, REALLY enjoy) watching Mrs. LC with other guys. I said so out loud as an afterthought, and she broke out in laughter again, commenting, "Well, DUH!" I asked why she'd not suggested it, even jokingly, and she said she thought it had been too obvious.

Thinking afterward, I got to wondering how many of you would post that you swing in a semi-anonymous, vanilla forum like that. Granted, we discuss it openly here, but that's entirely different, obviously, since it's why we're here in the first place.

Part of me is wishing that, if Mrs. LC hadn't objected, I'd had the guts to go ahead and post the truth, just to see the reaction as much as anything. (And for the record, a few others had posted as their secrets that they were gay, bi, etc.) I might have ended up regretting it, but it still would have been daring and exciting.

A few people on the other board "know" (in the online sense) me and Mrs. LC, and others could figure out who we are if they wanted to. And, she and I are definitely on the shy end of swinging--no face photos with those we don't know, etc. But for those of you who aren't as shy, would you post something like that on a vanilla board, etc.? Or is that crossing a line that best not be crossed, even if it would be naughty and fun?

[slevin]

In an anonymous forum, or a forum of like minded individuals yes we'd discuss it openly. In a non-anonymous forum; no we wouldn't.

[fun4Ds]

I wouldn't mind admitting we are swingers.

But, thats not exactly a deep dark secrete

[JustAskJulie]

When it comes to online, I'm pretty OUT about my activities. When dealing with people who know me in person (including those who know me in person AND online) I tend to keep it quiet.

[Mr.Essex]

I'm pretty open, and I had the pictures to prove it. If I'm talking with friends, I'll gladly tell some of my better stories (no names, though.)

[screaminggood]

Tempted, definitely. But I wouldn't really cross that line. Kids and work to consider.

[LFM2]

Like screaminggood, I would absolutely be tempted, but we wouldn't. Both our jobs could be jeopardized.

Our kids are adults now, so either they'd have to deal with it or not. I don't have to pay for their therapy anymore.

[two4youinswva]

We keep the two separate. I am on a couple other semi-anonymous boards, and haven't felt the need to divulge the info.

[spamcatcher]

Like most of the replies thus far, we keep the two pretty well segregated. I have one vanilla female friend (I'm a male) who knows that the wife and I swing. It's kind of fun having someone who knows your innermost secret.

I've also been tempted to tell a former business associate with whom I used to trade ribald tales. He's not close enough to really call a friend, but he's great fun to sit down with over lunch and share our latest adventures in life. He reminds me of "Smilin' Bob' in those Enzyte commercials. I know he'd laugh giddlily when I told him of some of humorous things we've encountered in swinging so far. And at the end, he'd look at me and say "Well, God bless ya!" and laugh some more.

Is it risky to share with others outside the lifestyle? Perhaps. Probably. But life is not without risk, and to enjoy it to the fullest, you need to take some at times.