Has Swinging changed your thinking/relationships/life?

[CantonCouple]

Mrs.CC asks -

Although swinging is an erotic fantasy, When fantasy becomes reality does it change your whole reality and who you are or is it just play? I suppose it is just a mind set that you have to keep for yourself. I am just wondering to what degree it changed you, and your relationship with the person you have pledged your faith love and life to. We have just started thinking about this and, I would be very sad if something were to change to the love and respect I have for him.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by CantonCouple
Mrs.CC asks -

Although swinging is an erotic fantasy, When fantasy becomes reality does it change your whole reality and who you are or is it just play? I suppose it is just a mind set that you have to keep for yourself. I am just wondering to what degree it changed you, and your relationship with the person you have pledged your faith love and life to. We have just started thinking about this and, I would be very sad if something were to change to the love and respect I have for him.

You are on the right track.

It does indeed change your reality. Most of us are conditioned to be faithful and that having sex with someone outside of marraige is a breach of the vow.

The vow consists of what you make it though. IF you promise to be true and honest, then swinging doesn't compromise the vow.

If you are religous then you need to address between you if that is a factor.

If there is jealousy in the relationship then don't do it. PERIOD.

If you want an extra bang for the buck then its all fun. Its tremendously intense having sex with other people while your loved one is there.

Its up to you to decide if you want to go there, cuz there will in fact be a change.

I would say that for the half of the people the change is good.

For one quarter only one partner is happy.

And for one quarter both wonder why the hell they didn't do it a long time ago. These people are true swingers. They are happy with their relationship and just know that it can't be threatened by sexual play.

If you don't have marital problems and both agree that it sounds like fun then try it.

If you have marital problems stay away from it.

Everyone has marital problems, I mean serious ones btw.

Sometimes swinging can be the spark that re-unites a couple that has been in a rut.

Talk about the entire situation in great detail with your partner. I mean talk about the act itself, how you think you will react and what not only excites you but scares you.

If you can get through that discussion then you are probably ready to try.

Give it a long time. Do not expect to find someone to swing with right away. Go through the thousands of threads in this forum and decide what piques you and what turns either of you off.

Communicate earnestly about this before you do anything.

THen come to Florida and find me. OH I DID IT AGAIN>shit

John

[babydragon]

I can see your worries and fully understand them. BOTH I and Dragon were worried about many different aspects of what we were entering into. jealousy was one of them, respect was a high fact but worrying how it would alter our relationship was the highest worry.

We have only just had our first proper swing, and up to now not only do we still feel the same about each other, our sexlife the night we got back was incrediable. WE have started to discuss how we feel about the whole experience and up to now, neither of us has expressed negative feelings or thoughts. ( expect for one preformance problem, which we are dealing with *not him me lol*. All I can say is find the right people and everything falls into place, dont just jump into bed with the first couple you meet, just to try, the wait is well worth it.

[LadyandLordAro]

We discussed and discussed making the change...ad we were BOTH very sure it would not afffect our personal relationship. To this point we have had only one experience, but it really did not change our feelings towards each other..at all. Nor did it affect our "personal lovemaking" ( our or fuckin either ).

We both approach this desicion with open adult minds..and both know what we seek to gain from our activities is uh..well..sex and thrills lol.

This doesnt mean we dont enjoy each other..hell if we didnt enjoy each other we wouldnt do this together...and we would plain ol split up. It's just and extension of our raunchy fantasies is all..lust

[Chicup]

Long story short, it made us a lot closer.

I had a little jealousy with our first full swap, but being with a couple my mind rationalized it as being 'equal' with the other guy. But that was my only negative feeling with swinging.

No regrets.

[dragonfly_nc]

When the fantasy became a reality our relationship with each other did change, for the better.

We got into swinging to enhance our sexual relationship. I guess you could have put us in the "stale" catagory..lol. This may seem weird but for me (female half) it has actually made me feel more secure about our marriage.

Even though we enjoy being with other couples, it doesn't compare to being with each other.

[CantonCouple]

I would like to say Thank You for responses to my question. I am still not sure if this is something I would like to do. However your advice has made me feel alot more comfortable. I am also exercising and eating better as I do want to be HWP before I would do this. Once again Thank You!

[babydragon]

HWP wont matter when you find the right couple. many people have already argued this subject till they are blue in the face, if your losing weight for yourself fine but not just for exceptance of others.

[OhioCouple]

Geesh, somehow I missed this question on the first go round and I think you bring up some very valid questions.

For us swinging did change our personal relationship tremendously. The thing is having done so it did not negatively affect us.

The best way that I can describe this is that if you only ever participated once and decided it wasn't for you, I would have to think that it would still make for very intersting pillow talk between the two of you. Even if the experience wasn't what you hoped for it opens a door of communicating with each other in how you would have changed things or highlighted what you enjoyed while you are being intimate with your partner.

It changes even the sublte things like peering over at a table of two or more couples having dinner and wondering.......hmmm could they be swingers? It changes how you view things on a daily basis when you see what you used to think as a subtle touch between people looks more like something more than a casual flirtation. I am not saying that non-swingers don't do this, it is just the difference in how we view others around us now which has added to the erotic times and definitely has made for some highly erotic pillow talk and activity in our own personal lives.

We are in whatever percentage that it did not affect us negatively. Everything even with the bumps in the road has been positive for us. Again though like the others have said, your own relationship must be in check in order to not risk it becoming a negative influence for yourselves.

Lori

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by babydragon
HWP wont matter when you find the right couple. many people have already argued this subject till they are blue in the face, if your losing weight for yourself fine but not just for exceptance of others.

I agree whole heartedly with Babydragon. HWP is in the eye of the beholders. I think it is great that you are taking measures to help yourself feel better. That is excellent. Just don't consider it a measure of acceptance when it comes to meeting other people. Swingers come in all shapes, sizes and races and each one holds a special appeal to the "right" couple or person. What may not be sexually appealing for you may well be for the person(s) sitting next to you.

Lori

[mwsw4ever]

If it has,how has swinging changed your life? Be it positive or negative.

[LikeMinds321]

It has made a definite difference in my life. A positive difference.

Mr LM and I are enjoying each other more, not only sexually but in every aspect of how we communicate and take pleasure in living.

I take better care of myself. I am sexually more confident. I have made special friends.

LM

[Spoomonkey]

Mrs Spoomonkey and I have always been very open with each other - we were best friends before we were married. But there is something about that added depth, the fun flirting because we have "secrets"... Those have been the biggest positive changes.

If there is a negative (and it isn't much of one) it is probably the death of the fantasy, if that makes sense. In fantasy, the couple we meet are always perfect and passionate; the experiences always mind blowing. But - the trade off for that has been an even hotter "marriage bed" at Spoomonkey Ranch.

I wouldn't change it for the world.

Spoomonkey

[Bu&Sandra]

For us I think it has made us a more social couple. We go out more and have a lot more fun. Before we started to swing I think we had fallen into a circle of friends that were older then us and made us act and think older then we were. Now we are a wild couple. Since we dicovered swing clubs we are out and away almost 3 weekends a month.
That's just the social aspect . Our sex life with eachother which was great before is now fantastic. For me I enjoy watching my Bu do things he never thought he would. I grew up here in the 80's remember that we were wild. He grew up in India then went on to the Middle East. Need I say more..LOL he never got to experiment or have all the sex we did here.
So watching him grow and explore is a huge turn on for me and being able to be part of it is just mind blowing. When we are out he is like a little kid so excited and happy. It makes the whole even hotter for me.

[ALilOEverything]

It's changed my life in many ways. Some good, some actually not as good. I'll start with the not as good. We don't hang out with our vanilla friends nearly as often and I feel bad for that. Also I was very close with my mom and we talked about everything but now I don't feel as close to her because I can't tell her everything. She'll ask how I met these new friends we're going to see and I feel so bad about not being honest. This is something I'm working on because it's really important to me that mom and I remain close.


In my marriage it's changed things. I think swinging tests the strenth of love, trust, commitment and knowing our marriage is so strong we can comfortablely pursue this lifestyle has elated us. Our marriage was like a well built race car that was kept in the garage and never taken out. We'll we're taking it out for a drive and taking some of those corners very fast but it's sticking to the road well and just purrs along the way. Knowing that our marriage was that solid in the beginning and now further knowing we can drive it around making it even more fun has really strengthened us even more. Now I think we exude this confidence between us and we just can't get enough of each other.

So it's changed my life for the better as a whole, but there has been some glitches along the way that will be smoothed out over time.