Has Swinging changed your thinking/relationships/life?

[tjomc]

My wife and i are 35 and 31 three kids, married 13 years. We have a regular play couple he 44 she 42. two kids married 22 years.

My wife and i are somewhat "wild" in bed ie a gentle night of love makeing means the neighbors didn't hear us. Our playmates are much more "calm" then we are, The other wife is very passive, her husband is well about half as aggressive as my wife and about a third as me. On the other hand the other wife is very passionate very much into kissing, touching, and sex is at a much slower pace than we are used to.

Over the last few weeks i have found myself being much slower with much longer foreplay with my wife, I feel that the things we have shared, and learned from our playmates have made my wife and i better lovers when we are together. I always knew that foreplay could be very erotic but never knew that it could be so very powerful.

I thought i'd share this with everyone, and if anyone else feels that they too have become better lovers with their spouse or SO, we would love to hear about it..

Thanks for reading this long post..
tjomc

[BiloxiCouple]

Coooool.

All of you have learned things about each other and applying the good things to your life

I bet the other couple is getting a little wilder and being a little less passive with each other.

It's really great to about the positives with another couple. Thanks for sharing.

[tjomc]

yes Biloxi they have really came out of their shell and are much more into sex with each other as well as us....

i just thought i'd share as we usually only get to read the "WTF" threads, or what shoud we do or have done....etc.....

[willyoats]

I like this thread, and I wish there were many more folks who respond.

For us, swinging was almost all positive. (The single exception is that std we contracted from a "friend," i.e., not someone we hadn't known for a long time. I discussed that in the thread on the downside of swinging.) I opened up and became much more sexual, sensual, attentive, appreciative, etc.

For my wife, the fact that I changed so much was reward enough for her since she didn't really care if she had other partners or not. Oh, she enjoyed the flirting and romancing and attention that she got from a lot of guys, but the sex was hardly ever really terrific. She could have given it up any time.

For me, I loved the variety. I loved the taste and feel of other women. I loved the sense of creating a new bond of friendship with several women whom I still adore and/or sleep with. It is a little like poly, but without the other facets besides sex and companionship. Maybe it is open marriage. I'm not sure what the label should be.

After sleeping with another woman, I was always hot for my wife. There was never a hint of betrayal or jealousy. Our bond was strengthened by the swinging. In part, it was because she was so generous in allowing me to do what I wanted. It also demonstrated so clearly that we were so well suited to each other that no other person could threaten our marriage.

For a long time, our best friends were other swingers, and swinging activities were the main "recreational" focus of our lives when children and work allowed some free time.

It is impossible to overestimate how much good the swinging did for us.

[JustAskJulie]

This is an interesting question. It's been so long since I started I can't remember how I've changed, and much of the ways I've changed (I believe) have come with age more than from swinging. I've always been openly flirtatious and sexual.

Would love to see some more input to this thread from other members.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Wow...we've been in it now for quite a while I almost forget who I was before

Seriously, Spoo and I have always had a great relationship and sex life. In fact I probably changed more from who I was before meeting Spoo then I have from the lifestyle. I came out of a bad marriage and strict religious background, with Spoo I could be myself.

That said I come out of my shell so to speak after meeting, dating and ultimately marrying this man of my dreams. He continued to encourage me and we talked about everything and tried everything Then he brought up swinging....

I guess if you can add to perfection the changes have all been very positive. I love being able to have a place to go where I can dress sexy. The flirting and fun we have (even on a no play night) at the club is like throwing gasoline on a burning building...we barely make it home let alone get in the door before we are all over each other. I think it has helped open us up in our comfort level socially. It has definitely encourage better fitness and much more primping and preening.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

It has definitely encourage better fitness and much more primping and preening.

Among other positive changes, this one is a biggie. When we started discussing swinging, I lost 25 pounds over about five months and became much more fit. I also pay more attention to certain primping stuff (for instance, I never used to do my nails). I like to dress better and more attractively than before we started swinging -- except at work, where I still dress like a dork.

[Fantasy01]

It has really changed our life for the better....we are presently caming with another couple and plan to meet soon...I love the fact that My wife is a show off on camera...This I feel is the starting of a great life..and we are meeting with another couple that looks alot like us....Physically that is....

[RandyKris]

Absolutely for the better. I (Mrs) am much more outgoing and not as shy as I was when we were first married. He is also...

Swinging is something we will never give up.

[ViSexual]

We got into swinging after being married for three years. That was the best two year period of my life.

We got back into it about ten years ago for a year or so.

That was the second best, if not tied for best, period of my life.

[xyzzy07]

Like others have said, we are primping and going out more -- far more. Also, however, we've often been getting a very pleasant, walking on air, feeling because others come on to us. Even just having women flirt with me at a club (not to mention other things...) makes me feel great on Sunday!

[Bama0468]

Wow .. lemme think.. if you have read my blogs you kinda know, but for those that have not perused the blogs..

I (among other folks, no related, and no well known to me) I would be VERY shy, I didn't think I looked all that great, and had a lack of confidence.
Now I can chat a bit, am still some what shy (in person) am a lil more confident and if I know I NEED to be a lil more agressive (Flirty, touchy feelie) I can be and have enough confidence to pull it off.
it added extra excitement that we didn't know existed (we were both virgins and taught each other, What a class :P )

[foozballnow]

Life is so much better for both of us since we started swinging. It's not just the sex that is better either. I mean we have so much fun now. The swingers we hang out with are a trip. We have never had so much fun. Some of the swingers have kids our age lol and we still have so much to talk to them about.

We are more carefree now. Not in a bad way. In a good way. Carefree in the sense that we don't care what other people think. We do what makes us happy and we have a good time doing it. We only live ONCE!!

[Frognlisa]

Swinging has made me more self confidant and shown me, that not all people judge all books by the cover.

[sweet_tna]

I've gained more self confidence. Mr. Sweet and I are so much closer and communicate better. And of course, I have a lot more sex these days!

=)