Has Swinging changed your thinking/relationships/life?

Originally Posted by ShellyM

Mrs. V,
I think you are a true success story. And I mean this, because I rarely say things I don't mean. I think you and Prettylady are great examples of how women can be in horrific relationships and come through on top. I think that girls like my own daughter can look up to you and see that the end of a bad relationship means the beginning of a great life. I am SO incredibly lucky in that Jay is an absolute prince among men and a gem. I know how lucky I am. And I give you complete respect, because you are 2 strong women.

ShellyM,

Thank you! I have to admit that I never thought it would be possible to find the right guy after all I had been through. But then I got blessed to have found MrVan and because of him in my life, he has helped me to overcome my fears and allow me to be who I am.

I also have daughters but mine are still young and my oldest witnessed what I went through and hope that she sees the difference and what she can truely have in her life when she gets older. I hope that if your daughter is in that kind of relationship that I was in that she will find the courage and strength to do what needs to be done to find the happiness that she deserves.

All I have to say is that I am a proud survivor and I will share my experience with any woman as I never want to see anyone go through the nightmares that I went through.

MrsVan

[Amanda69]

The only real change for me (female) is it allowed me to be open about my sexuality, something I had previously hidden and been somewhat ashamed of (my high sex drive)...basically it opened the dam

[HubbyFromNY]

Great story Mrs Van good for you!

Originally Posted by HubbyFromNY

Great story Mrs Van good for you!

Thanks! I am just thankful that I was able to get out when I did as I know many who are not able to do so. But having this second chance to be happy and to find my true love, is a whole new start for me and I count my blessings every day that I have a wonderful husband and children. But to be in this lifestyle and to be who I truely am leaves me feeling happier than I could ever have imagined.

The only real change for me (female) is it allowed me to be open about my sexuality, something I had previously hidden and been somewhat ashamed of (my high sex drive)...basically it opened the dam

Amanda69,

I have to say that the lifestyle did the same for me as well. I never had much of a sex life until MrVan and although our sex was good, the lifestyle brought out the freak in me and now I cannot get enough facelick and I am no longer ashamed of how I feel about sex and I am more open to talk about sex with MrVan than ever before.

MrsVan

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

For me, this lifestyle has done wonders. Before I met MrVan, I was in a very abusive relationship (both mentally and physically).

I too lived for 13 years in a very abusive marriage, which lead to anerexia and alcholism, and too damn many marriages! After finally getting out, I spent two years in a spiritual sabatical and learning about myself, anger and resentment. I am now married to the most wonderful man on earth, that respects who and what I am. He encourages me to be whatever I want to be. I am a professional dancer (Middle Eastern) and I now have a studio and teach and perform. We had no idea that when we started talking of our fantasies (shortly after we met) that we would get to experience any of them.
I believe you have to have a strong relationship to live this lifestyle...jealousy and petty crap has to be gone. If you have a strong relationship, this lifestyle can make it even better.
I have been counseling battered women, eating disorders and alcholics now for many years and I applaud the women that have come through this and have recovered to find their true selves!!!

[northindycpl]

Swinging has made us spend time together- not as parents or spouses or joint mortgage holders- As lovers.

It has created a communication system between us that is fantastic.

It has greatly increased my wardrobe

Originally Posted by Mrs.PaganLovers

He encourages me to be whatever I want to be.

It is nice to have a spouse who lets you be who you want to be and encourages you to do so ...There are so many things that MrVan has encouraged me to do and has been supportive of all my decisions.

I believe you have to have a strong relationship to live this lifestyle...jealousy and petty crap has to be gone. If you have a strong relationship, this lifestyle can make it even better.

Dito There is so much to be said for having such a strong relationship because if the relationship is not a strong one then you would not be able to survive the lifestyle. Those that are in the lifestyle or have been around for so long have a strong relationship and everyone that we meet you can see that by the way that they act with one another.

I have been counseling battered women, eating disorders and alcholics now for many years and I applaud the women that have come through this and have recovered to find their true selves!!!

That is awesome that you counsel battered woman as well as eating disorders and alcoholics. That is an inspiration all of it's own that you can take away from your past relationships and help others. Helping battered woman is a future goal for me, I would love to become active in something local to help those woman, but with having children I do not have much time to give. You are a true inspiration to all of us and for you to share with others is incredible.

MrsVan

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

See Mrs. Van, I knew we should have spent more time talking to each other over the weekend LOL

Originally Posted by Mrs.PaganLovers

See Mrs. Van, I knew we should have spent more time talking to each other over the weekend LOL

I was just thinking the same thing when I read your post. I wish I would have had more time to get to know you but with leaving on Saturday that did not allow me enough time. We will have to make sure that we catch up with each other at the next meet. You can always PM me if you ever want to talk.

MrsVan

[WildMiCouple]

I've noticed since entering the lifestyle, I've become a more outgoing person. I find myself talking with barmaids and waitresses more. Flirting, I guess. Something I wouldn't have done before. Us engineers tend to be a reserved bunch. In fact just the other day at lunch, a young engineer that works for me was commenting how at ease I was talking and joking with the waitress (she's a hottie his age ) How he could never do that. I laughed to myself and told him I used to be that way too

Mrs.Van.....wonderful story. Glad you two found each other If you could have stayed around for the weekend, we'd have enjoyed hearing it in person. We did enjoy hearing MrsPaganlovers story I am now enlightened about Pagan and Wicca beliefs too Damn good thing she wasn't telling us dressed in her belly dancing outfit or I wouldn't have heard a word.....and it's not because of the jingles

Brett

Originally Posted by WildMiCouple

I've noticed since entering the lifestyle, I've become a more outgoing person. I find myself talking with barmaids and waitresses more. Flirting, I guess. Something I wouldn't have done before.

Well I can vouge and say that MrWildMiCouple is now an outgoing person He sure flirted alot with me during the Ohio meet up but I was not complaining at all, actually enjoyed it facelick And MrWildMiCouple.....You were flirting; it is not called being "friendly" as MrVan says.

MrsVan

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

Damn good thing she wasn't telling us dressed in her belly dancing outfit or I wouldn't have heard a word.....and it's not because of the jingles

I don't understand why not LOL???

[JustAskJulie]

Swinging has been a part of my life for so long that I can't remember what it changed about me vs what may have just been changed with time and maturity. However, I can say that comparing myself to my pre-swinging days I am much more open-minded, much better at communicating, much more honest with myself and others.

[BradAndJanet]

I'd say it's changed the communication about our sex life for the better and has deepened the understanding we have about each other's sexuality.

-B

[AlaskanGrown]

I remembered how much I enjoyed socializing and bullshitting with new people. This has been great.

It's made the Mrs. and I really do some self-analyzation and the payoff has been huge.

Our sex life (between one another and not playmates) has been ramped up.

One of our vanilla friends who is cool with the lifestyle itself is non-plussed that we're not around as much and they're making it into far more of a wedge that it should ever be as we see them nearly every day.

--Mr. AG