Are a lot of swingers nerds?

[iapr]

Ok, I guess this discussion pretty much proves my point huh?

Live long and prosper!

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by iapr

Ok, I guess this discussion pretty much proves my point huh?

Live long and prosper!

Reminds me of a line from revenge of the nerds....

"Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex. "

[JustMrJ]

Again... my wife and I love not only Sci-Fi movies, but books... table top roleplaying games such as D&D, Champions, etc. ... we also have borrowed her sister's copy of the ENTIRE Babylon 5 series on DVD... have all three LOTR extended version movies and yes... my FIRST ever Sci-Fi movie was Star Wars Episode IV when I was only 7 years old.

We also play numerous video games, have an XBOX360, XBOX, PS2, PS1, and ... ready... a modified Sega Genisis and an original Atari 2600 with games. Not enough in the budget of time or money for a Wii or PS3 yet...

Oh yeah, I built both of our gaming rigs and I modded my original XBOX, Linksys Wireless router and my DirecTiVo too...

[SecretAsianMan]

I'm not necessarily sure it's so much that we're nerds... but that nerd-culture has become more "mainstream" and acceptable. Everyone's into computers these days... comics are providing the inspiration for some of the best films out there... sci-fi has become the accepted medium for "pushing the limit" in stories when one wants to show something really neat or as a warning for future generations... things which were exclusive to the "nerd"-world at one point have now become pretty standard and normal.

When I was growing up ... who would've thought that they'd all need to know how to type on a keyboard and be glued to a computer screen for a majority of their day... have electronics (cell-phones) strapped to their hips... and be as excited by the prospects of a new gadget coming out as we all are.

[Chris&Amelia]

First of all... I am a nerd. Or a geek. My nerd credentials are as such:

• My first computer was a Commodore VIC-20, which I used to access Compuserve with my ol' 300 baud modem.
• My second computer was an Atari 800.
• My third computer was an Atari 1040ST. Ah, I remember the ol' Atari-vs-Amiga days fondly. The fact that I remember my computers growing up should tell you something.
• We're both avid SF fans. Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Doctor Who, Battlestar: Galactica (both the original and the remake), Babylon 5... you name it, we've watched it. (and probably own the DVD set)
• My favorite movies? Logan's Run, Tron, Wargames, and Silent Running. (I let our a little geek squeal when I heard they're making Tr2n!)
• I was a avid RPG player back in the day. Started with AD&D (old school First Edition!), moved onto Shadowrun. To this day I still collect Rifts and Paranoia modules because I enjoy reading them. (The Computer is your friend, Citizen.)
• We were both crushed to find out that "Star Trek: The Experience" closed in Las Vegas on Labor Day.
• We both spend way to much time playing World of Warcraft (For the Alliance!) and, as a matter of fact, we're going to Anaheim to attend Blizzcon '08 this year.

Now that that's out of the way, I think that us nerds are more prevalent in the Lifestyle because of two reasons. (1) We weren't the Jocks and Cheerleaders. We never got a real chance to "sow our wild oats". So now we're catching up on "lost time" and, since we're adults and (presumably) more mature, we're able to enjoy the experience much more and conduct it in a safe, responsible matter. (2) And since we didn't experience said "wild" sexual life as teenagers, we were open to developing an different outlook as adults.

The guys I work with all consider me a geek (although I've toughened up since my teenager days... I can hold my own in a street fight fairly well now). And while they're polite about it, they consider Amelia a geek as well. Which is part of the fun of it... they would never consider us swingers. (Because everybody knows swingers are all study jocks and beautiful ex-prom queens, right?)

But, yes, the ranks of nerddom is well represented in the swinging world. Heck, I got into a Holy War* with another swinger once!

Originally Posted by PB&J

Oh yes, and then he and I moved on to which version of Star Trek we liked best- go Picard!!

Picard?

Picard?!?

Picard was a wuss. Kirk was Da Man. Picard's most used phrase was "Open hailing frequencies. Signal our surrender.**"

Originally Posted by PB&J

Am I the only female nerd out there?

Nope. Amelia's pretty much hard-core too.

Originally Posted by PB&J

Almost got turned off by a guy when he admitted he liked Wesley!!

WESLEY?!? The only character I like less then Wesley is Jar-Jar.

I wish that Wesley would one day cross paths with Madam Airlock... uh, I mean President Roslin.

Originally Posted by JustMrJ

we have all three LOTR extended version movies

Hee hee. We got the super-duper extended versions too. We can't watch the theatrical versions anymore.. they don't seem "complete".

Originally Posted by JustMrJ

We also play numerous video games, have an XBOX360, XBOX, PS2, PS1

We have a Wii, XBOX 360, and PS3 because, let's face it, they're cool pieces of technology.

Originally Posted by JustMrJ

Oh yeah, I built both of our gaming rigs and I modded my original XBOX, Linksys Wireless router and my DirecTiVo too...

So I'm not the only swinger who's running custom firmware in his Linksys Router then? (Tomato Firmware 1.21.7, but I'm pondering installing DD-WRT v24-sp1.)

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

I'm not necessarily sure it's so much that we're nerds

Dude. I have an amateur radio license.


* - PC vs. Mac
** - Admittedly, Locutus was badass.

[nudists4couple]

Originally Posted by PB&J

Considering that the conversation I had this summer with one playmate about Battlestar Galactica- I'd have to say, oh yes.

Me and the wife love the show. It is certainly one of the best shows on television and its a shame more people won't watch it simply because mainstream America thinks Sci-Fi is geeky. If America were to give this show chance, the ratings would go through the roof.

[realcplub2]

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Wesley? He is one step above a red shirt in the Original.. or expanding on whats already been said.. Jar Jar in a starfleet uniform

Now, in as much as I fueled this Sci Fi debate.. I can of course top all of this..

Way back when we started we had a 3some.. ( our ability to pick JUST the right people shines thru ) It was October.. We had a nice dinner, drinks and headed to a quiet neutral ground ( local no tell motel ) and as the festivites were in re coop mode..( yes again) this guy flips on the TV..

Wait for it

To watch the WORLD SERIES.. Soon as the game went on, he was less than useless..

So, we went ahead had round two, got dressed and for all we know left him sitting there for the rest of the night..

Yep.. another reason we are so down on the single guy/3some thing..

[nudists4couple]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Reminds me of a line from revenge of the nerds....

"Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex. "

Great line from the movie! Anthony Edwards and David Carradine made that movie so much fun to watch. Bring back the 80's!

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by realcplub2

:
So, we went ahead had round two, got dressed and for all we know left him sitting there for the rest of the night..

Yep.. another reason we are so down on the single guy/3some thing..

Ugh... this would infuriate Mrs. Mix. If she feels used and/or ignored, she gets violent. LOL.

[PB&J]

We're both avid SF fans. Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Doctor Who, Battlestar: Galactica (both the original and the remake), Babylon 5... you name it, we've watched it. (and probably own the DVD set)

I sewed myself a Space:1999 jacket when I was 17.

have all three LOTR extended version movies and yes... my FIRST ever Sci-Fi movie was Star Wars Episode IV when I was only 7 years old.

I have seen each of the original 3 (only ones worth watching) Star Wars movies at least 20 times in the movie theatres. I will never forget walking out of the theatre after the first time I saw A New Hope.

First time watching LOTR, I knew all the lines before they were spoken, because I've read the books so many times that I've got them memorized. (But I must confess, have NEVER seen Shelob since I hid my eyes behind my coat and told my son to tell me when she was gone- and on the DVD I just skip those scenes. Ugh. Spiders.)

[mixtupcpl]

Hey now... To quote Kirk Lazarus, PB&J "You about to cross some lines!"

While I do agree that the original trilogy are classics in a category of their own, Episode 2 and 3 are really exceptional movies if you give them a chance. Ep 1 may not have been great, but the second trilogy did end strong.

Give them one more chance! As a Star Wars fanatic, you owe it to yourself to love the story of the Clone Wars

As for the other stuff, I have so much media and technology around the house its preposterous. I started with technology at around 8 years old and its really a core part of my life, like breathing (besides being a career)

[ownerspet]

Originally Posted by iapr

This post is going to use a lot of labels and steriotypes in the quest gathering information so please turn off the PC filter and share your thoughts openly and maybe we can all seek some usefull knowledge together.

Originally Posted by iapr

Before we got into the lifestyle I had a preconcieved notion that the swinger community would be made up primarily of the jock/stud catagory of men and the cheerleader/beauty queen catagory of women. What I have witnessed in real life is far from that.

I do realize that in my expectations of what I expected to see before I ever went to any lifestyle functions, was also probably a sterotype. However since I've been attending and actually in the lifestyle, most stereotypes have been non-existent or I've not noticed them, because of the broad types of people in the lifestyle. The preconception that you describe isn't exactly the one I had, however my conceptions were also far from what I found to be the situation.

Originally Posted by iapr

Most of the men I have seen have not been smooth talking ladies men at all and have not been players at all or even necessarily that socially comfortable or outgoing. .................. Many of the male halves of couples I have seen have been quite passive if not downright socially awkward and uncomfortable.

Odly enough I too feel like I sometimes fit into this socially awkward box, as I'm so quiet. But yes I have found that the men and the women in some cases are not totally at ease, although I think it is probably because when people transition back and forth from the vanila to the neopolitan flavored lifestyle, many struggle with it socially (because the expectations of social interaction are often opposites).

Originally Posted by iapr

while many of the single males have fit the jock/stud mold, the single fems I have met in person have been the opposite and many probably struggle for a date in the vanilla world.

My experience and perception in the lifestyle in the area of physical attractiveness seems quite different, in that I have found that there is probably the same variety of physical attractiveness in the neopolitan world as there is in the vanilla world. I'm a confident and attractive guy, but I've seen people that I look at and I just don't feel that I'm attractive enough for them, and I've seen people at the other end of the spectrum that I don't consider attractive at all.

Originally Posted by iapr

So I guess my question is, are any of your observations similar or different from what I have described? Please share your thoughts and observations on this. I often hear discussions regarding cliques and such within the lifestyle and I am wondering if this is yet another battlefield between the jocks/cheerleaders and the nerds or is the lifestyle a place where the nerds truly do outnumber the jocks?

It's odd that you ask this. I think for the most part most people in the lifestyle are open to meeting new people, but I do beleive that "cliques" or groups of people that are familiar with, do form.

And, because of these different groups, sometimes it may appear that social circles may not be in competition but sometimes it appears that they aren't in favor mixing their groups. So I get that perception.

I've heard there are some "barbie and ken" (or "Jocks/Beauties) groups that have a mentality of if you aren't a "ken and barbie"/"jock &/or beauty" they don't want to be associated with you. I don't really agree with this mentality, but I also don't think this is the majority of groups that appear to be cliques.

However, mostly I think it is not necessarily a mentality of "we don't associate with people of this behavior or type, as much as it is things that individuals become comfortable with. This is also a common occurence in other areas of life such as politics, religion, and other life social circles. While sex is more common than any other interest in life, I don't think swinging is any more likely not to form cliques than any other social circle because of this one interest. And at times it will appear to be jocks against nerds, but I think most groups or cliques are open to meeting new people. Although as intimidating as it may seem, the outsiders to the group or another group has to make the effort to interact with the groups.

Alright to summarize: There are groups that form in the neopolitan world (just like any social circle), but I don't they are against interaction for the most part (like high school jocks and nerds).

[mixtupcpl]

Well and to be fair, these things are never really black and white anyway. Maybe my experience was different b/c I grew up in the inner city, but the Hollywood vision of "jocks vs nerds" didnt remotely exist in HS for me.

There were athletes, and they did hang together, but plenty of athletes had non-athlete friends and everyone was generally just "normal" There were kids who were exceptionally good students (I was one in between bouts of being very very bad), but again, there was no stigma I felt by the time HS rolled around. Cliques formed around other things and *within* the clique you'd have athletes, idiots, honor students, etc.

Of course for us it was more how closely you got to the gang/drug/truancy culture that drew the line. Myself, I went too far that way many times and then "cleaned up" and was welcomed back to my "normal" friends with no issues.

So reality is often shades of grey and I suspect it is the same here. No one is an absolute walking stereotype no matter how they may appear.

THat said, still a fun topic and I still want PB&J to re-watch Ep 1,2 & 3

[PB&J]

Oh all right, but I'm fast-forwarding through the race in Episode One.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by PB&J

Oh all right, but I'm fast-forwarding through the race in Episode One.

Fair enough