wife prefers cheating

[it'sso]

I think the OP needs to dump this cheater and find a better partner to help him enjoy the lifestyle. If he is sitting home while she is getting rodded out by some guy on the sneak, he is no more than a cuck.
MOO

[iapr]

I disagree with the couple's couseling that the others have suggested. She is not going to benifit from counseling because she is already getting what she wants and everything is already revolving around her and her selfishness and cruelty.

YOU are the one that needs counseling and may benifit from it. YOU need to find out why you are allowing yourself to be treated so badly and keep coming back for more.

YOU need to find a way to stand up for yourself and pursue your own interests and seek your own happiness and health. You need some personal couseling on those issues as well as counseling on how to disengage from her and stand on your own two feet.

This gal is a bad person and you deserve someone better. Get your personal, legal and financial affairs in order and get out and start a new life.

[interested-05]

ditto's with iapr. It just may take divorce for your wife to realize how cruel she has been. "get yourself counseling," if she sees you changing and moving on, she may develope respect for you. right now she doesnt care how you feel about what she is doing. While there is little doubt how you feel, and there will always be feeling on your part, her treatment has and will continue to have a negative impact on you and how you feel about yourself and your family.
You have been the stable dependable support in her life, she may need to discover what life w/o you is really like. meanwhile you have to respect yourself, and be the person you are meant to be.

[PeeTWheatstraw]

In my short 30 yrs of living I have learned, swinging is not for everyone and all relationships are not meant to last forever!

[Chris&Amelia]

I have to agree with iapr and those who posted before me.

DUMP HER.

She's hurting you intentionally. She's getting off on it. This has nothing to do with swinging. This has everything to do with her getting some sort of power trip with little (if any) regards to what this does to you.

You can do better.

[sweet_tna]

It's time to piss or get off the pot. Your wife doesn't want to swing 'cause she LIKES running around behind your back. It's been 23 years--she's not gonna' change. So if you want the cheating and resulting pain and humiliation to stop, then LEAVE her! It really is that simple. Yes, it'll hurt. But the question is, will being without her hurt more than what she's doing to you now? Only you can answer that.

Best of luck to you,

=)

[Chris&Amelia]

Seriously...



You need to kick her to the curb.

[interested-05]

thinking about this after my prior response, i need to say something. !2 years after the divorce, I find myself sometimes wishing we had been able to work things out. She wanted to play, was afraid that she was gettting old and was going to fight it every step of the way. Having sex with others was her way of feeling young.
At the time I could not conceive that it was possible to love her and have sex with others. Wasn't part of my personality. After dating several women, I realized that sex w/variety was fun and that while I wanted a permanent relationship again, I also wanted to explore as a couple, but it had to be "we not me."
ow I am part of a permanent relationship and WE are into this together. I Love her deeply and she is my focus. And I am hers. WE arent full swap yet, may never be, but we enjoy our playing with friends and discover with each couple and experience, it is not only fun, but we want to do it again, and we are really closer and communicate more than my first wife and I ever did.
I really dont like to encourage divorce, yet it may be necessary for your personal sanity to move on. Only you can decide this. See a counselor so you can workout where you need to go, and make your own decision, as to what is right for you.