Am I jaded?

[sexcupid]

So reading over iapr's post the other day kind of inspired me to post this, since I didn't want to do a thread jack there...here we are. This might become a long convoluted story, so I apologize in advance.

Recently we have been in contact with a couple that has been pretty patient with us as far as setting up a meeting time (my kids are only with us for the summer and playtime is put on hold during that time...they contacted us shortly after the kids arrived). But we chatted here and there occasionally to just keep in touch.

Once the kids left town, AF (mine and the other wife's) decides to make an appearance and cancelled the first meeting we had scheduled. Then the next week was because of work conflicts with them (one of them was on call). Then the next week it was because of Jeff's work schedule. And so on it goes. We don't want to appear to be flakes by continually rescheduling...but it's just not a good time right now...lol

Before one of the playtimes, during that week we finally did a pervy picture trade. Now, normally I am loathe to share my toy pictures with people because we have some big toys. But for some reason I shared them and then immediately wished I hadn't. What I consider junior high-ish comments like 'OMG is that a table leg/piano leg/guess I'll have to be in up to my thigh/etc'....my first thought is 'His wife is obviously not home or she would have whacked him in the back of the head by now.' My second thought was some what more un-generous...along the lines of 'See! this is why I don't share these pics...he has 'little man syndrome' (patent is pending on that phrase )...I was trying to give the benefit of that dick sucking pic just being a bad camera angle...but with this reaction to a big toy, it obviously wasn't.'

So I get a little bent because he's insinuating that b/c I like some bigger toys that I can't feel a regular dick. And I tell one of my friends (she was a friend before we got into the LS and now she plays as a single female). But I mention no screen names, etc.

Then she asks advice on another matter dealing with a couple. Her and I had planned to meet. And apparently when she signed off chat he told her to tell me hi when she met me for dinner. Well, she was kind of taken aback because she hadn't mentioned WHO she was going to dinner with. Then he had another junior high attack and wouldn't answer when she asked how he might have figured out who it was (his secret? I was chatting with him at the same time and we both said something about going to dinner...2+2= me ).

At this time I asked her 'Is the screen name ******' She says yes. I was like OMG, that is him! I thought she would die laughing. But she had relayed a few stories of various playtimes (with him and others).

But here's the crux of the matter (sorry for the long round about story):

Do you ever just wonder if there are couples involved in the lifestyle to 'pawn off' their partners on others? I mean, after being privy to a few situations I have to wonder this. Be it a male with multiple single female playmates (or women with a 'rotation'), or someone who's wife says they aren't in the mood for it that night so just log on and see if you can find a booty call....maybe I'm just attributing too many negatives.

I am not sure that this is all that far off from one partner not being as gung ho about the LS as the other, or if they are just more apathetic to the LS.

[lovinher]

It might be hard to tell on line and what you or I may think is one thing could be another. You attributing "too many negatives" is certainly understandable though.

[cupl4fun]

You caught me I am trying to pawn off my wife, but that's more cuz it excites both of us than because I can't deal with her and want to push her off on somebody. We haven't been around long enough to see anything like this. Strange to think someone would do this. I can see wanting to be with somebody maybe "larger" or "more impressive" or something and having to drag your spouse along in order for it to happen. It all sounds freaky to me. I know crazy things happen but I wish everybody was in the lifestyle for sex not some ulterior motive.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

Before one of the playtimes, during that week we finally did a pervy picture trade. Now, normally I am loathe to share my toy pictures with people because we have some big toys. But for some reason I shared them and then immediately wished I hadn't. What I consider junior high-ish comments like 'OMG is that a table leg/piano leg/guess I'll have to be in up to my thigh/etc'....my first thought is 'His wife is obviously not home or she would have whacked him in the back of the head by now.' My second thought was some what more un-generous...along the lines of 'See! this is why I don't share these pics...he has 'little man syndrome' (patent is pending on that phrase )...I was trying to give the benefit of that dick sucking pic just being a bad camera angle...but with this reaction to a big toy, it obviously wasn't.'

Well some people just dont know how to party.... I say if you have big toys and enjoy them, Bring um.. I'll play

So I get a little bent because he's insinuating that b/c I like some bigger toys that I can't feel a regular dick.

I think you just met a regular dick head..... How long have they been in the lifestyle ? Either way I cant imagine this guy has much experiance with women.

Do you ever just wonder if there are couples involved in the lifestyle to 'pawn off' their partners on others?

It does happen... We played with a couple that really didn't have the good things in a relationship. They actually work as a team. You help me get what I want and I ll help you get what you want, They have a mutual understanding. We question whether its right or wrong sometimes...

I mean, after being privy to a few situations I have to wonder this. Be it a male with multiple single female playmates (or women with a 'rotation'), or someone who's wife says they aren't in the mood for it that night so just log on and see if you can find a booty call....maybe I'm just attributing too many negatives

. There are allot of different folks out there.... I would like to think they are far and few between.

I am not sure that this is all that far off from one partner not being as gung ho about the LS as the other, or if they are just more apathetic to the LS.

I wouldn't think I could make that call without getting to know them on a personal level.... I'm thinking your going to pass on them ?

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Well some people just dont know how to party.... I say if you have big toys and enjoy them, Bring um.. I'll play

I think you just met a regular dick head..... How long have they been in the lifestyle ? Either way I cant imagine this guy has much experiance with women.

Off and on for like 8 or so years. Which I guess is why I really had a WTF moment.

I wouldn't think I could make that call without getting to know them on a personal level.... I'm thinking your going to pass on them ?

On one hand, I really want to tell them I'm not sure we're compatible. OTOH, Other people we know in the LS say they are pretty nice folks. I guess one thing that is kind of rubbing me the wrong way in our communiques (beyond the story told here) is that they (or at least he) is under the assumption that we ARE going to play...we do like their profile, but sheesh...let us at least meet you before deciding how many rounds we're going to go that night...
I mean, I like to keep an optimistic view point...but we're talking borderline pushy at times. But perhaps that's just overexcitement?

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

Off and on for like 8 or so years. Which I guess is why I really had a WTF moment.

Wow, I wouldn't have thought that.

On one hand, I really want to tell them I'm not sure we're compatible. OTOH, Other people we know in the LS say they are pretty nice folks. I guess one thing that is kind of rubbing me the wrong way in our communiques (beyond the story told here) is that they (or at least he) is under the assumption that we ARE going to play...we do like their profile, but sheesh...let us at least meet you before deciding how many rounds we're going to go that night...

I feel ya. We have been there. We worry sometimes we get to pushy now a days. Maybe pushy is the wrong wording More like, we see all green lights and worry we may push someone els through a yellow light. Were trying to take a step back. Our damn hormones get the best of us sometimes. Its like we have zipped through all green lights and find ourselves thinking. WOW that was awesome sex, care if we get to know each other now?

I mean, I like to keep an optimistic view point...but we're talking borderline pushy at times. But perhaps that's just overexcitement?

The way people say things sometimes. Its kinda like some people can be joking and just taken the wrong way. Then sometimes peoples mouths really fit their personality making it pretty difficult to get past things. Sometimes I find myself in a mix of people who say things that I might not like. To them its nothing out of the ordinary, but just makes me feel out there somehow. Just like this mans comments made you think WTF how am I supposed to take that comment. Supposing you had been chatting and pic trading with us. My comments would have been more on the line of wow, pretty cool toys ya have there. What are they made of ? How much did it cost and where did ya get it. Can I use them and play with you. But thats just me .

Take that same guys comments at a party and even though I hate to say it, he might have got a chuckle from a few. Its an old line between guys, ha ha yea right. But to some, he might be the funniest comment guy in his crowd of people. Some people are down right funny and some kinda hide behind the wise cracks. I think its about personality.

We were at a club a while back and there was a couple there we met. The female was having a visit from aunt flow but she was in panties and looking fine from my point of view, she just wasn't playing this night. Her husband was playing in a private room with some old friends and she and I were just talking in the kitchen. She yells out " Hey, who's in there fuckin my husband " Total silence Then she yells " yea thats right " the whole place just started rolling with laughter Her personality matched her wise cracks. She was funny, probably no one I know could have pulled off her jokes the way she did. I don't think your jaded, I just don't think this guy hits the funny bone Ya know. Either that, or I'm jaded with ya.

Its hard sometimes holding my tongue back to someones uncalled for jokes, at the wrong time. I suppose you could give the guy a good comeback line. I know the devil makes me do it I had this guy one time, that Mrs.fun really wanted to and did, hook up with. He kept making a comment to me of how he was going to tear that thing up . I don't know, It just irked me. Wrong time, wrong day you know, like take it easy there killer. After Mrs.fun and I got back together doing the grind, I just had to look over at him and say. " Nope, nothings tore up, I been playing with this pussy 30 years you didn't hurt nothing "

[JustAskJulie]

You so didn't go where I thought you were going... I think. You lost me with the pawning off of playmates. As I read your thread I was thinking you were going to go into something I've wondered about on a few couples we've encountered and that's the little man syndrome... that maybe some couples (women) are more than happy to swing because they get a chance at something MORE than they've been getting at home.

So are you thinking that in this case the wife is just trying to pawn him off because she's tired, etc? I guess maybe what I missed is what your friend told you that added to your thoughts.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

You so didn't go where I thought you were going... I think. You lost me with the pawning off of playmates. As I read your thread I was thinking you were going to go into something I've wondered about on a few couples we've encountered and that's the little man syndrome... that maybe some couples (women) are more than happy to swing because they get a chance at something MORE than they've been getting at home.

Yeah, I thought I probably should have left it a question about little man syndrome. I mean, I've walkd away from some encounters with very un-generous thoughts...mostly along the lines of I see why your wife wants to swing now or something along those lines. Part of it may be my frustration talking at that point, but the other side thinks there's some truth to it.

So are you thinking that in this case the wife is just trying to pawn him off because she's tired, etc? I guess maybe what I missed is what your friend told you that added to your thoughts.

What happened with my friend just kind of threw another wrench in the gears I suppose. Basically that one playtime involved her going over while the wife was home because he was feeling frisky, she not so much so and the wife told him to try to find a booty call. Now, in the course of a relationship there are just going to be times when one is rarin' to go and the other isn't...I mean, sometimes it's just one of those things you deal with (either by not having sex that night, having sex that night, jacking him off, or worst case scenario sending him off to do it himself). I just can't quite fathom tell him to have a booty call over while I'm in the house. But that's just me and I know everyone has their different comfort levels and what they will and will not do.

She then noted that the picture I had told her about was probably not at a bad angle, that I may have been spot on in the little man syndrome diagnosis, was pretty good at oral, but had some issues with the condom (which is common, so didn't really factor in to my reassessment of the situation).

What is really boils down to is I'm pretty sure Jeff is bigger than he is and has mostly overcome his condom issues...but the condoms do cause a marked decrease in sensitivity so Jeff is likely to last for a long time. If they do come over to play I don't want to be in the living room nursing bruised male ego after our playtime is over sooner than theirs is.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Our damn hormones get the best of us sometimes. Its like we have zipped through all green lights and find ourselves thinking. WOW that was awesome sex, care if we get to know each other now?

lol I don't have to know you to have sex with you...but I find I take that mentality more if we are meeting people at a house party/club/hotel party. I don't have to know your name...but I might be nice if you are wearing a nametag so I can call you by the right one once the clothes are back on.

The way people say things sometimes. Its kinda like some people can be joking and just taken the wrong way. Then sometimes peoples mouths really fit their personality making it pretty difficult to get past things. Sometimes I find myself in a mix of people who say things that I might not like. To them its nothing out of the ordinary, but just makes me feel out there somehow. Just like this mans comments made you think WTF how am I supposed to take that comment. Take that same guys comments at a party and even though I hate to say it, he might have got a chuckle from a few. Its an old line between guys, ha ha yea right. I think its about personality.
I don't think your jaded, I just don't think this guy hits the funny bone Ya know. Either that, or I'm jaded with ya.

Well, perhaps I'm in good company then? lol But agreed, I know it's a guy type of joke...and context can mean alot. The comments kind of came out of left field, not really fitting in with the tone the conversation preceding it had. And granted somethings come across better in person where you can see the facial expressions and hear the voice inflections. However, once I had made him aware that I didn't particuarly find the comments funny...he kept on in that vein for a few more parting shots and even mentioned it again in a chat later that evening. I guess my thing is while I like hanging with the guys...I'm not a guy, so save it for your guy friends.

After Mrs.fun and I got back together doing the grind, I just had to look over at him and say. " Nope, nothings tore up, I been playing with this pussy 30 years you didn't hurt nothing "

Now, that is funny. There are times that some comments just rub me the wrong way, when they normally wouldn't.