Progressing side ways

[newlythree]

It;s the Mrs. Well we have experienced more since the last post, a hotel party and a couple we hosted. The hotel party was interesting. I pole danced for the first time & had a great time doing it. I was bruised all over the next day and boy did the front on my thighs ache but I would do it again. I need to research how to do that better. Hubby and I went back to our room for a brief refill on drinks and to touch base about some of the couples we met. When we returned all but a few couples remained everyone else had disappeared and they NEVER returned. We were not aware of the hotel procedures find a couple and hold up in your room. He and I love a party and thought that there would have been more time to find perspective partners but you live and learn so we didn't play but with each other which was great as usual. Then we had a couple over the next night whom we have played with a week earlier but wanted to try again in a more social setting. The last time we played with them there were six of us and the man had to get back to his wife since he was having ED. I really enjoyed her and my husband and her seem to be doing fine. It was her husband that I wasn't so thrilled with, he was blahh.
I can't seem to figure out how to pick the right couples. He was smaller than my husband which I didn't really like, Hubby did tease me about being a size queen but I don't think I am. He just wasn't that exciting and she did complain about him earlier to me. The other wife was telling me that her husband had had extensive emails with another women and that had pissed her off. There were a few other things too but I can't remember wasn't that interested. Her husband also had asked me for directions to our house and I gave him clear simple directions. Well he chose not to follow those directions and they were commenting on how long it was to get to our house. I plainly told him if would have followed the directions given they wouldn't have gotten lost nor would it have taken so long to arrive. I didn't like that, my husband listens to me and appreciates my opinion on subjects. We converse openly and respectfully. The couples we have chosen lately have had a women who seems to be very turned on by my husbands communication with them, they all seem to NEED an ear and he talks back. I keep finding myself with personalities that irratate me since I do believe men and women are equal and my marriage reflects that. Crazy as it sounds I am only irrated afterward when the sex wasn't good. None of these guys have even seemed to think about whether I am enjoying myself or not. Having experienced only a few encounters I do feel that am I figuring out more and more but at what time do you say it's not worth it. I have no problem with the idea of swinging but I have been less than satisfied by this adventure. Hubby and I have great sex and wanted to do other things that enhanced great sex. I feel I need a aplication for these encounter (not really) what happened to the kind of great empty sex with guys you met in bar. I didn't want to marry them or date them either. Not sure where we will go from here but I do think we are going to slow down and be a bit more picky. Or is swinging different than I thought are we just looking at knotches on a bed post?

[socolais]

I've had similar thoughts. The party sex is fun and exciting but sometimes it's kind of shallow. I'm not certain yet, but I think it's helping me feel better about the encounters when we slow down and take our time pleasuring each other rather than counting orgasms.

[newlythree]

Mr. here:

I think an application would be \m/ AWSOME \m/!!!!!
Hey...that way you know what you're getting!!!!!! We can work on that tonight!

...and you are correct...What the hell happenned to all that great, meaningless, empty bar sex??

[jjtrindc]

We have yet to meet and play with a couple at a party or club. We find it too hard to really get to know another couple. We prefer to trade an email or two and meet for dinner where we can chat. There have definitely been a couple of couples where we just didn't click -- and I'm sure that would have been an issue had we played. On the flip side, those couples that we clicked with personality wise we've had a lot of fun playing with. I'm sure we've "lost" interest by some couples for taking our time, but so far it's work for us.

[lustylearning]

Ah, yes. I remember it well. So many times I found myself thinking "He's getting more out of this than me. Why are we doing this?" when we first started in the lifestyle. Over time we've learned how to better spot the couples we'll have fun with, and unlike a previous poster, most of them have been couples we've met through the club. Cold meets are tough for me. I don't do well with the "nifty profile, let's meet for dinner," technique. I need to see something in the eyes, ponder the words, and watch behaviors before I can gauge a potential partner. Hubby has always been our seeker, and in the beginning he chose some duds - not because of looks, but because there was nothing else to draw me. Over time though, he has developed a sense of "what will work." If you stick with the lifestyle, I suspect you will both develop that same sense. It's tough to be picky at first, because you really don't know what you like until you learn what you don't like. One thing I can tell you for certain, there are plenty of men who want very much to please their partners... Don't let a couple of bad apples spoil the whole bunch!

Happy hunting

[Pepper & Drew]

I had this discussion with friends this weekend. I can honestly say that I've not had what I would call memorable sex with someone the same night we met them. We finally decided that we weren't going to play with people we met at a social the first time we met them because we had too drives home or debriefings the next morning where we said WTF?

If the person doesn't have a vested interest in making sure there's a repeat performance (playing with you again) there's little or no incentive for them to make sure you have a good time. Now, there are exceptions, but more often than not, the hasty, spur-of-the-moment playdates we've had sucked.

I think slowing down and being more picky will find you better luck.

Pepper