Is sex visual?

[widowerman]

OK, I have two serious questions.

Is sex 90% visual? As in, the object of your affection has to be great looking, good looking, somewhat good looking, who the hell is looking?

Second, question: would you have sex with just about anything that is available?
Second question, part B: And if you do, why?

[des1re06]

Is sex 90% visual? As in, the object of your affection has to be great looking, good looking, somewhat good looking, who the hell is looking?

There's definitely a "look" that I typically am attracted to. Males - bald; females - long hair and well groomed. So, good looking would fit, I guess. Personality goes a long way for me.

Second, question: would you have sex with just about anything that is available? Definitely not. We were at a house party just this weekend, and there were many available men (at least 30), and I only picked 1. I'm a picky slut.

Second question, part B: And if you do, why?

[widowerman]

Originally Posted by des1re06

Is sex 90% visual? As in, the object of your affection has to be great looking, good looking, somewhat good looking, who the hell is looking?

There's definitely a "look" that I typically am attracted to. Males - bald; females - long hair and well groomed. So, good looking would fit, I guess. Personality goes a long way for me.

Second, question: would you have sex with just about anything that is available? Definitely not. We were at a house party just this weekend, and there were many available men (at least 30), and I only picked 1. I'm a picky slut.

Second question, part B: And if you do, why?

Yeah, I’m getting like that now also. I am becoming very picky with the women. I mean some should really start hitting the salad bar and treadmill instead of the steak and TV remote.

Thanks for the feedback!

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by widowerman

Is sex 90% visual? As in, the object of your affection has to be great looking, good looking, somewhat good looking, who the hell is looking?

No, for me it isn't really 90% visual. But then again, we all have our definition of great/good/ok looking...if we go by the societal definition of good looking/hot...then definitely no. Some men that I have been exceptionally attracted to, if looking in for a more objective angle I have thought 'Well he's not quite GQ material (traditionally handsome)...but I think he's the hottest ticket out there.' So it's all subjective.

I'll use Jeff as an example of what I mean. And I don't say these things to be mean...and God knows I have plenty of my own that I could work on...but this is just for the sake of arguement here. He's mid-40s, lots of grey hair that has a spot that's thinning, has what I call 'man belly' that plenty of men his age have, can come across as an arrogant ass at times. Well, if I think about it that way (ie possibly the way someone who isn't smitten with him) then of course he doesn't sound particuarly attractive. But I guess most of the time that's now how I see him. He's not drop dead gorgeous, but he's certainly not a 'omg, I hope no one I know sees me with this guy'.

And there have been some playmates that just had that certain something about them. Again, not societally handsome/good looking...but they were undeniably hot to me.

Second, question: would you have sex with just about anything that is available?

No.

[olycouple]

I think with strangers or "near strangers" it IS pretty darn visual. I mean...I wouldn't walk up to someone I didn't know in a bar and hit on them if I didn't think they were attractive in the first place. Now, with people I know or am even friends with, I agree that personality goes a long way (both negatively and positively). I've know some sexy people who I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole because they were rotten or completely unintelligent. But, I've also had the "beast" factor occur...where once you know them well, the outside sort of slips away. Besides, I tend to pick up on quirky physical attributes and fall in love with them. Sometimes our "faults" are our best assets when combined with our personality.

So, yes and no to your question.

[WeUse]

There is a body of scientific evidence (at least stories/positions taken my medical expert witnesses at trials) that for me, the sense of smell is often the first trigger (even before sight and touch) to getting in the mood. That argument was advanced in a case where a 40s something engineer ran his mountain bike straight into a concrete wall (allegedly due to a defect with the bicycle) causing his head to come to an abrupt stop, whereupon the brain slushed forward thereby severing the olfactory nerves that protrude up from the nose through the base of the skull. As a result, he lost all sense of smell, and along with it his libido.

To a jury of one's so-called peers (at least the 34 year old actress wife's peers), what do you think the "loss of the husband's libido" was worth in terms of a damages award?

And, does this contribute to an answer? For me, the sense of touch is more significant, but it all depends on the circumstances. The caress of a hand from another fellow's wife on the inside of my thigh at a dinner table in a fine restaurant, conjures something up every time, but then so does a sexy check at the bar going commando style -- especially if I can see from my table that she is occasionally stroking herself.

[widowerman]

Originally Posted by WeUse

There is a body of scientific evidence (at least stories/positions taken my medical expert witnesses at trials) that for me, the sense of smell is often the first trigger (even before sight and touch) to getting in the mood. That argument was advanced in a case where a 40s something engineer ran his mountain bike straight into a concrete wall (allegedly due to a defect with the bicycle) causing his head to come to an abrupt stop, whereupon the brain slushed forward thereby severing the olfactory nerves that protrude up from the nose through the base of the skull. As a result, he lost all sense of smell, and along with it his libido.

To a jury of one's so-called peers (at least the 34 year old actress wife's peers), what do you think the "loss of the husband's libido" was worth in terms of a damages award?

And, does this contribute to an answer? For me, the sense of touch is more significant, but it all depends on the circumstances. The caress of a hand from another fellow's wife on the inside of my thigh at a dinner table in a fine restaurant, conjures something up every time, but then so does a sexy check at the bar going commando style -- especially if I can see from my table that she is occasionally stroking herself.

That is an interesting theory as well as an insight. This brings out another important theme. Even if you were blind, could you enjoy someone’s touch only? Eventually you are going to let your fingers do the walking and even though you cannot see a face, you can easily make out body features. Will that turn you off if suddenly you discover that this person is differently portioned, aka they have too little body fat or too much body fat?

We have all heard of the “darkroom” scenario such as the room is completely dark and full of people. Everyone is touching everyone else and even there you can make out body shapes. Alternatively, you see everyone before the lights go out so you have an idea what is in there with you. You see beautiful people, and not so beautiful people. Would you be turned on or turned off? On the other hand, is sex, just sex?

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by widowerman

OK, I have two serious questions.

Is sex 90% visual? As in, the object of your affection has to be great looking, good looking, somewhat good looking, who the hell is looking?

Second, question: would you have sex with just about anything that is available?
Second question, part B: And if you do, why?

Ok.. Since you asked, let me ask... If you are a VISUAL person.. What do you do in the dead of night.. Y'know, in the DARK?

As far as what we find appealing, Sure looks are great, a shape is nice, but, what turns us on is two OTHER things.. How much of a PERSONALITY the person has.. Second, to be honest, Ability to get beyond the regular.. In other words, to be open and honest about SEX and what they are into/might be into/wanna try..

Part 2, No.. it takes more than a stiff cock or wet pussy to get us in the MOOD..

As far as the second QUESTION, everyone here who has been online for more than 6 months has had the IM, Email or standard message, looking to HOOK UP in an HOUR, Tonight, ECT.. and lets be honest, How many actually consider heading out the door for that?

[ownerspet]

Originally Posted by widowerman

Is sex 90% visual? As in, the object of your affection has to be great looking, good looking, somewhat good looking, who the hell is looking?

I'm not going to try to speak for women, but I know men are more visual than women. However, I beleive for myself there has to be a level of attraction or I just don't want to and, and even if I did I couldn't get excited.

However, there are 2 things that add up to that level of attraction: 1. Is obviously physical attraction, but 2. is what comes accross in someone's personality in how a woman carries herself and interacts.

Originally Posted by widowerman

Second, question: would you have sex with just about anything that is available?

Odd, it seems that some newbies and/or vanilla people think that because I'm a swinger I will do anything. That couldn't be further from the truth. Me and my wife are selective, and we find that we don't have to settle for people that we aren't attracted to in order to play. That would sort of be counter-productive to our main goal in living life, "Enjoy Life."

Originally Posted by widowerman

Second question, part B: And if you do, why?

Well, I don't so I don't know why. I'd be interested in seeing if there are any individuals that will speak up that will have sex with anything that is available.

[widowerman]

Originally Posted by realcplub2

Ok.. Since you asked, let me ask... If you are a VISUAL person.. What do you do in the dead of night.. Y'know, in the DARK?

As far as what we find appealing, Sure looks are great, a shape is nice, but, what turns us on is two OTHER things.. How much of a PERSONALITY the person has.. Second, to be honest, Ability to get beyond the regular.. In other words, to be open and honest about SEX and what they are into/might be into/wanna try..

Part 2, No.. it takes more than a stiff cock or wet pussy to get us in the MOOD..

As far as the second QUESTION, everyone here who has been online for more than 6 months has had the IM, Email or standard message, looking to HOOK UP in an HOUR, Tonight, ECT.. and lets be honest, How many actually consider heading out the door for that?

When I say visual, I mean as a generalization of everything we see. It could be a fancy car, a woman, a man, and even a work of art. I do not understand your question, “What do you do in the dead of night. Y’know, in the DARK?”
Are you asking do I fantasize? I may very well; however, I am a sleep I have no idea. Do I wake up with a hard on? Yes. Not always, I am human.

I did find it interesting that you do admit looks are great, a shape is nice and then begin the personality test. However, how can looks alone perceive a personality? You first see someone and then you talk to him or her, if there is some sort of attraction. I am not forming opinions at all. I am more inclined to have this as an honest poll, a question and answer period.

So far, I can see that people are genuinely honest that visual impact is a key.
Like you stated and in my paraphrased way, we all seem to look at that fast looking sports car, even when it is standing still. We like the sweeping lines and the general toughness the car exhibits. The car could be a lemon, but we all still look at it. And we fantasize.

Here is a quick story. I met two women at a motel party a few months ago. They wanted to get back into swinging so they joined in the party. However, when they saw the pickings, saw me, and looked at the pickings once more, they bolted for the door with me in tow. They later admitted that sex is 90% visual. I do not have to draw you picture. I just state facts. And this is where I ask everyone in a open honest way, “Is sex 90% visual?”

I am forming the opinion that looks do carry the day.
Newbie or otherwise.

[widowerman]

Originally Posted by ownerspet

I'm not going to try to speak for women, but I know men are more visual than women. However, I beleive for myself there has to be a level of attraction or I just don't want to and, and even if I did I couldn't get excited.

However, there are 2 things that add up to that level of attraction: 1. Is obviously physical attraction, but 2. is what comes accross in someone's personality in how a woman carries herself and interacts.


Odd, it seems that some newbies and/or vanilla people think that because I'm a swinger I will do anything. That couldn't be further from the truth. Me and my wife are selective, and we find that we don't have to settle for people that we aren't attracted to in order to play. That would sort of be counter-productive to our main goal in living life, "Enjoy Life."


Well, I don't so I don't know why. I'd be interested in seeing if there are any individuals that will speak up that will have sex with anything that is available.

As for men are more visual then women, see my last post.

As for doing anyone, I have been to a few parties and I just shake my head. I have to admit, almost all of the men will seek out the most “attractive” woman to have sex with. And when they can’t fit in, they go to second best, and then third and then, so forth and so on down the line. I personally cannot do it. I just watch human nature unfold in front of me, and take anthropology notes. Hey, it’s just like high school all over again!
Now all we need is Disney to make it a musical.

Accept my apologies in advance, for I know I am a lighting rod to criticism. I just needed to know some real truths out there.

[WesternSwing]

For me sex is 50% visual and 50% mental. I'm first visually attracted to someone, but as I get to know them who they are will make or break the deal. When I was younger it would have been anything I was attracted to visually. But these days there just has to be more.

Mr. WS

[lustylearning]

Absent conversation, I imagine looks would carry a lot of weight. Throw in some personality, witty repartee, and the dynamics change. There are plenty of intelligent, sexy people who lose out to their more attractive counterparts because they do not bother to socialize.

That second question seems to be more of a disgusted perception, rather than a genuine inquiry. There is no reality that will apply to all. You cannot garner ultimate truth from a "yes" or "no" response, though you may find others who think like you.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by widowerman

As for doing anyone, I have been to a few parties and I just shake my head. I have to admit, almost all of the men will seek out the most “attractive” woman to have sex with. And when they can’t fit in, they go to second best, and then third and then, so forth and so on down the line.

Thats not what I see at swinger parties at all .
That sounds more like what I would see at a vanilla bar with a group of single work buddies shootin pool. That would be more of the hound dog attitude.

I personally cannot do it.

What do you mean by that ?

I just watch human nature unfold in front of me, and take anthropology notes. Hey, it’s just like high school all over again!
Now all we need is Disney to make it a musical.

Swinging with mature couples is nothing like high school. I think your missing something here.... Is that how you see it ?

Accept my apologies in advance, for I know I am a lighting rod to criticism. I just needed to know some real truths out there.

We can work with that

[widowerman]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

For me sex is 50% visual and 50% mental. I'm first visually attracted to someone, but as I get to know them who they are will make or break the deal. When I was younger it would have been anything I was attracted to visually. But these days there just has to be more.

Mr. WS

But you do see it first. Just like, I asked. First, it is a visual clue and then it is the talking. I still say, it is just like high school.

By the way, a general question to the public; have you ever turned someone down because they were just not “your type”?
And then hook up with someone else at the same meeting, whether it is a party or club almost right in front of the person you turned down?