Telling close friends that you're swinging?

[jdavisauto]

Everyone that we know, knows that we are swingers either by us talking about last nights activities or by us inviting them to come out with us to a swingers party. We are pretty much open and honest about who we are. Mark Twain once said that if you never lie you don’t have to remember anything. We have always went with honesty is the best both in our swinging and home life which is the same. We are still swinger at home through out the week as we are on the weekends, at home or at a swingers club or at a swingers party or a straight party. A true friend is someone that knows everything about you and still likes you. If they stop liking you because they found out that you are swingers then how good of a true friend was they?

[rachan]

Our friends who don't swing have no idea. Our son and daughter know. I think it would be a shock to my close friends.

R

[funcpl4life]

Some of the secretaries were ragging on swingers, swinging and infidelity all in the same breath in the break room. I gave them the "I think there is more in heaven and earth than in all your philosophy" line. I was given the business for months because I didn't agree that all swingers are evil beasts out to steal their husbands. sheesh. I will be very careful about whom I come out to in the Bible belt. We have 2 couples who aren't swingers that we've come out to, but they would've found out anyway. Everybody else, it just isn't their business.

Mr FC4L

[CuriousInOregon]

I am a Bit on the Fence about this one also... I have Not just Came right out to any of my Family about our Lifestyle but we do have a LOT of joking References that Anyone that has ever thought about Swinging would Catch onto pretty quick, We have also came out to a few of our Friends Ok he has to A LOT of his friends and I have to a few of mine. I get a General reaction of "WOW I can't ever imagine being Ok with it but if it makes you happy then Go for it" I have recently made the "Ha ha ha "Reference about loving my husband and my "woman" more than ever and they have made the confused face and just kind of brushed it off....
Would I like to tell people YES its so much easier to just walk up to someone and say "my husband and I think your seriously hot would you like to get to know us better?" but that does tend to cause a scene if they aren't interested

[jdavisauto]

As open as we are about swinging we still have friends that don't and some that does. Most of the ones that don't have at some time or another have asked questions on what it's like, why we do and the way we feel about seeing our spouse with someone else? Hell some of our non-swinging friends hass even went out with us and has even did some lite petting with my lady. There is one couple that if in the right mood will even go topless around us, and do a little teasing. We think that they are swingers in he making (lol).

[DesireCancunCpl]

we have been in the lifestyle for several years now. not long after we got started, we came out to some of our closest, lifelong, vanilla friends (a married couple). they confessed that they had been carrying a torch for us, for years and years! the feeling was mutual and we all ended up playing together numerous times! this has been going on for 3 yrs years now. they havent flipped over to the lifestyle; (she doesnt want to). they just play with us. too bad they are almost 700 miles away. we miss them so much!

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by jdavisauto

Mark Twain once said that if you never lie you don’t have to remember anything.

yes but he never had 3 keycards, a home alarm, 3 seperate email clients, 4 chat forum logins, and two mobile phones to remember the passwords to

[SandJinVT]

Originally Posted by ktimephoenix

yes but he never had 3 keycards, a home alarm, 3 seperate email clients, 4 chat forum logins, and two mobile phones to remember the passwords to

OMG, too funny ktime, and very true (PS - our next trip is to Australia, glad to see nice people from there)

We try our best to keep our personal sex life away from our activities (vanilla), as a rule. While we mix our friends together often, with no problems so far, we don't announce that we're swingers to anyone except other swingers.

We once visited a swing couple in another state. We went out the first night, and were surprised to learn that they'd announced to damn near everyone they knew that they were swingers, and didn't care to hide the fact that we were also. We aren't stuffed shirts, but this appalled us more than either of us could say. Some people are far more comfortable with others knowing their private life, and some people aren't. Our rule - keep it to ourselves, and keep it amongst other swingers. SandJ

[ktimephoenix]

Exactly SandJinVT. there is dishonesty, and there is discretion. we had decline an invitation with some vanilla friends this weekend because we'd made plans with a couple that we met through some swinging parties from interstate.

our vanilla friends (they know we swing), flat out asked us if we were meeting up with them just for sex. we were meeting them for dinner and to show them around town, so our friends didn't "need" to know any more about the other couple than that we were going for dinner, on the small chance we run into each other while out.

Hope you enjoy your trip over here. i hate to go all one eyed with pride, but it's a pretty spectacular (naturally) place, and most people are laid back and genuinely friendly. you should have a ball!

[Chitowndk4u]

We're still in the early discussion stages.

We only have one person who knows this is going on and that's because we are all close. This is my wife's friend since she was in high school. We have very open relationship with her, She knows everything we have done and we know everything she has done.

I feel safe with her knowing and she is actually encouraging us to explore it.

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by Pierced-n-Proud

we'd asked not to go beyond a certain point but she did.

To me that would suggest that they weren't the friends you thought they'd be...

we have the opposite problem, our vanilla friends know we swing, and when they are looking through photo's, we forget that we have the naughty ones in there (only of us, we haven't pulled the camera out with play partners), and our friends stumble across them and kinda freak out

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u

I feel safe with her knowing and she is actually encouraging us to explore it.

we have/had a friend like this. she would be more eager than us about our potential hook ups etc. that was until our first full swap. she pressed for details, and the whole "enormity" of it hit her. since then she's only showed interest in our swing lives in the hope that it's tearing us apart, or that we're not as into it/we're going to quit.

for instance, she "innocently" drove past our house early sunday morning to see if we were at a party. she saw the car home and assumed we were home, so texted us, saying "called past your house because we were in the area (*we know that's not true, our place is so far out the way of ANYTHING that she'd had to go out of her way to call past*), noticed you were home... how come you haven't gone to a swingers party in a while? has it got too much for you guys"... our reply "we're at one right now, we got a lift from the couple we hooked up with on friday night". needless to say, we haven't heard from her since

[VanHlebar]

We have a couple of vanilla friends that know about us. One of them used to be a client of mine and I have posted on here before on how he found out about us. Another one is a guy that I have known for a long time and we actually had him and his wife come on to us...well before they got divorced that is.

We have another set of friends that we are almost positive know about us since they know we have been to Hedo, but they don't ever ask anything to us. They have asked a few questions about the resort, but that is it.

We are like many others here, we have many "inside" jokes and comments that we make between MrsVan and myself that if anyone had actually looked into the LS, they would catch on in a hurry. We have one other set of friends we think are on the fringe of the LS. They are really nice folks and we have just started to get to know them better over the past 6 months or so. We met in a vanilla situation, but they are just way to strange to be "normal".

We don't say anything to our friends about our choices and we definately don't say anything to family about it. We wish we could because it would be sooooo much easier, but we just don't want the hassle of dealing with the family bullshit.

-Van

[Gladiola4u]

My Sex Slave and I are very open about what we do. We are not ashamed and if somebody doesn't agree with it, tough shit. We have a lot of friends who know and they are in the mind set of "it's your life, I don't care" so it's great. So far there are no friends that we have lost since they have learned what we do.
My sister and my brother know we are swinger but they are some of the people that I am the closest to and trust a lot. My mother on the other hand, although she is really open minded I could not think of telling her, she might think that we are on our way to a disaster marriage and all the speeches in the world and I am not about to sit and hear her out, especially since she lives with us.

[SecretAsianMan]

I've never really talked about it to MOST of my friends - although I don't exactly make a secret of it either. (It's on most of my "public" online profiles that I've been in & out of the lifestyle) ... but I think my friends are also more open to "alternative"-lifestyles than others.