Do you negotiate by rules or preferences?

[socolais]

In so very many threads, we discuss our rules and boundaries. I get the impression that yall discuss activities with your potential playmate somewhat as a "filter" in the decision to play with them or not. It's generally implied that this discussion should occur before everyone gets naked.

I don't foresee declining any offers to play solely on the basis of some activity I "need" to occur in every swinging encounter. Of course, I like some activities a little bit more than others. Sex without touching would be quite a challenge, so there have to be some comon denominator activities typical playtimes share (let's pretend to agree that "same room sex" is not exactly "swinging").

Sure, a few boundaries come up in the discussion - don't tickle me, leave my ears alone, and you need to wear a condom for penetration. I'll say, "Don't leave generally visible marks. Now tell me what you want me to do to you...." If I have decided that I would rather not play with her (for any reason I may choose) she most likely knows before she tells me she doesn't like to be tickled.

When I go to a party, I want to have fun - sexual fun. Let's talk about activities we think we could have fun sharing until we choose to stop. If you prefer to not kiss me, we can work around that if you'll suggest an activity you would prefer.

So, I guess if you have rules against talking sexy and erotic massage, I would likely not want to play with you...

[JustAskJulie]

We don't really have a whole lot of rules or boundaries. Condoms are required and beyond that it's just whatever is comfortable for everyone. We'd be open to just same room sex, or only girl girl if that was what they were into and we were into them. I think in the end we operate based on attraction, if the attraction and chemistry is there then we can work within whatever boundaries are set by the other couple. Depending on what their boundaries may be, our question may have to be "do we really like this couple well enough to bother with their boundaries?".

[sweet_tna]

There's not much of a need for negotiation for us. We only have two big rules: condoms for penetration, and no separate play. Otherwise, we pretty much go with the flow.

As for sexy talk and erotic massage .. . bring it on!!

=)

[lustylearning]

One single rule: we both must agree. We have general preferences - what falls outside preferences must follow the rule.

[2inVT]

We have practical playtime rules.

1. If lubes or condoms are to be used, I will bring them. (I get itchy after using spermicidals, lubricated condoms, and flavored/heatable lubes.)

2. Calling me names like "bitch," "slut," etc. in the heat of the moment will just piss me off. Don't do it.

3. Anything that goes in my butt gets washed before it goes anywhere else.

4. No spitting on me to lube things. Ick, ick, ick. They show this in porn flicks, and it's just nasty. That's why I bring the lube; that's what lube is FOR.

Otherwise, anything else you want to do, suggest it. I'll probably be happy to do it.

As for our rules about initially meeting people, those have been developed over time by those "OMG we'll never do THIS again" episodes.

We don't meet anyone at their home the first time.
We don't meet anyone who can't/won't send us a face pic.
We make the deal-breakers clear up front: we smoke, she's a BBW, we have some tattoos, and her nipples are pierced.
We do not meet with single males who are cheating on their wife. Or single females cheating on their husbands.
We both have veto power, and it's not negotiable. (That's what house parties are for - the chance to play with the half of the couple you really like LOL)

Otherwise, we really don't have boundaries or rules. We do prefer to play same room, we by far prefer to play same bed, but that's not an absolute. It's just what we like best.

[good times]

We basically only have one rule, have fun. Not much to negotiate with that.

[des1re06]

I get the impression that yall discuss activities with your potential playmate somewhat as a "filter" in the decision to play with them or not.

We think it's a good idea to ask about rules before getting naked - yes.

Pain, potty games, and anal aren't going to happen with me, so it's best to put that out there in the beginning.

Mrs. D

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by good times

We basically only have one rule, have fun. Not much to negotiate with that.

Like that rule..

We only add one motto to that.. we never promise we play on the first date.. and make that clear before we even talk on the phone..

BUT

When we head out the door, we live by one motto..

Plan for anything expect nothing.. Be ready to play, have everything pretty all under.. smooth if its shaved.. whatever.. and if it happens Great, if it doesnt.. Fine too..

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by realcplub2

When we head out the door, we live by one motto..

Plan for anything expect nothing.. Be ready to play, have everything pretty all under.. smooth if its shaved.. whatever.. and if it happens Great, if it doesnt.. Fine too..

That's our motto, too. Guess being a Girl Scout comes in handy after all!

=)