An article I wrote last year about swinging. Comments requested.

[bbcpl4cpl]

Are they a moral atrocity? Who are you to judge?

I read an article on gather.com the other day that went back about a month ago and you can search archives if you want to find it. The main question asked was about whether the person's neighbour would go to hell because they are a swinger? They gave us the fact that these were friends of theirs and they carpooled together and went on picnics and they babysat each others children. Good neighbourly things to do, yes?



Well, then they started to debate whether it was right that they should watch their friends kids while they are out having sex with another couple? This is where I decided to comment and then I thought to expand a little in an article of my own.



First I want to know where you can graduate from the Moral Police Academy? I really think we should ask Ted Haggard since he preached morality along with his other religious beliefs. I am not kidding. I get so fired up about people saying that others are moral atrocities simply because it's not something that you would do. Ted Haggard said it but lo and behold, what's he doing after hours? It goes back to something said in the bible about those without sin casting the first stone. Even if you believe as some do that the bible is not the text of an omnipotent supreme being it is still a good point. A great moral point. Who are you to judge what someone does on their own time?



Now, follow me here, onto the subject of a lifestyle choice. In this case, your neighbours are swingers and you don't know this about them until Mrs. Kravitz , that nosy friend of yours calls up and says she accidentally found Mr. and Mrs. Jones, your neighbours, on a swinger site on the internet. We can assume here of course that no one questions why Mrs. Kravitz was trolling swinger lifestyle sites but that you are automatically appalled to hear about your "so called friends." It doesn't matter in the least that you may have been friends with them for two years and that you play bridge together every other week and you remember last year when your Mom died and Mrs. Jones brought you over care packages and casseroles. It doesn't matter that your husbands both play golf together every weekend. No, all you know is they are moral atrocities and sinners and with disgust you realize that they may have been out having sex with other couples while you watched their kids. You think back to that time you and Mr. Jones were in the kitchen, and you had ketchup on your blouse and Mr. Jones nicely handed you a washcloth. Was he really just hitting on you? Was he checking out your boobs?



You lament to your husband that they hid this fact from you and how disgusting they are and the fact that you will never watch their children again. You know the truth now and there is no way in hell they are coming over again to try and recruit you. Granted, they haven't mentioned it yet, but you know they will want you to know one day. You know you heard that all swingers try to recruit eventually so you decide then and there that they are no longer your friends.



My goodness, what century are we living in here? Last time I looked around we are in the twenty-first century and unless you just crawled out from under a rock you will see that we are living in a very progressive age. We have homosexuals in government and in religious positions and on our televisions with talk shows. It's no longer the Middle Ages and it's no longer a June Cleaver world. We have even progressed sexually from the seventies decade and the key party has evolved.



Swinging is still taboo but it is more mainstream than you might think. Get on a national swinger website and type in your zipcode in the search window. Yes, four or five pages will come up with your neighbours on it. Some are listed as 0 miles from you and they gradually increase to your surrounding areas. It's in the best neighbourhoods and it is in the ghettos.



You may think it's a deviant society of people that have no morals but these people are in your churches and on your P.T.A board. They are soccer moms and coaching dads at little league games and they are your friends, the Joneses. And you don't have to be afraid that they are going to recruit you. It's not a cult. They have the sensibilities to not tell people that may not be receptive to their lifestyle. They are not going to coerce you naked into their hot tub one night or blind side you when you have had too much to drink. And they will not corrupt your children if they come to sleepover with their kids. They lead this life on the side of their regular commitments and family life. They raise their kids to be just as moral as you do yours. They have faults too, they are not perfect but they are not moral atrocities that you believe them to be.



And if you decide not to watch their children anymore because of what they may be doing while out, I ask you if it is okay if you go to a football game and root for a team you love but Mr. and Mrs. Jones can not stand and is it okay for Mr. and Mrs. Jones to say that they will not watch your kids because they hate the team? However, if you chose to go to the theatre to see ballet tonight, they will happily take your children in for the evening? How is it any different? What does it matter?



I hope I have given some of you something to think about. You may not change your viewpoint if you are against it but you need to realize this happens everywhere these days and it doesn't make an ounce of difference what people do in their spare time. It shouldn't affect your friendship with them. They are the same people they always were. Now, you just know something you didn't before. You don't have to keep up with the Joneses. You have to live your life the way you want and let them do the same.

I am now going to go and prepare a casserole for a grieving friend and then help my neighbours with a P.T.A fundraiser. After which I will prepare for a night of bridge with my friends the Smiths who have no idea that I am in the lifestyle with my husband and to whom I have not once sidled up to in an inappropriate way. They like us just fine and I hope they wouldn’t have a problem with it if we chose to tell them. We choose not to as it’s our business.

[BiloxiCouple]

Swinging started way before the Romans and their infamous orgies and I guess that is when the moral decay of society's fabric started. I just wonder when the fabric is going to tear?

People and groups whine about whatever will get attention and keep them in "power". Moralistic people say one thing and do another. It's been proven over and over. And yes there a good people/groups out there also that won't shove their opinions down your throat.

[widowerman]

I did hook up with my sometimes bi-sexual female partner I met last summer and I have gone on a few “play dates” with other couples with her. Still I think of my ex-girlfriend. I have spoken to her about my swinging activities and even though she says that there is something wrong with that and it is in the bible, I challenger her on it. Just where in the Bible does it say swinging is wrong? In addition, do not use that Sodom and Gomorrah cliché. My friend used that argument. I read the bible; the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah is about the wickedness of people against strangers. They, the people of those two cities, did not share and share alike. I guess God is a Socialist at heart. As which Moses was and most definitely, Jesus was too. I went with the more pure Jewish version for the story of those “wicked cities” and Moses.
For Christ I had to look no further than the Christian Bible for my examples did. The Christians on the boob tube, once again, have it wrong.