new to swinging, in our own way

[sherry05]

Hi, I'd like to introduce myself and my husband. I'm Sherry and he's Clint. We had a long distance relationship, finally settled on where we would live, we're living full time together now, and he is the one that suggested that he would like to see me fucking other men. At first, it grossed me out, or I was abhorred, because I was so totally into him that I couldn't see why he wanted me to do that. But on occasion, when I would think about him watching me fucking some other guy, it would excite me, and I couldn't understand why.

We talked about it on and off for about 2 yrs., and when I would shy away, he'd always say that he could shut off that side of himself if it wasn't for me, but he wanted me to know who he really was and accept him for that.

I went back and forth with the concept for a long time. Exciting....repulsive....
but the longer we were together, the more comfortable I became with it. Just talking about it has made our sex so much better.

Well, we recently went on a vacation, and I really wanted to have a nicely hung man brought to me as a present, and for Clint to enjoy watching us have a nice session in bed. It didn't quite happen like that, but we did find a suitable candidate who did come by to have a fling with me. Hubbie left. I wasn't sure how I would feel about this. I had met the guy the day before, we kissed, fondled, then I reassessed my feelings. Could I really go through with this? Would it fuck up our wonderful relationship? I felt comfortable and went for itl.

It was strangely exciting to get ready for this "date." Clint was very excited about it and helped me get ready. My playmate was so-so. and I found that the major source of excitement for me was sharing all of this with Clint when he came back home. Our sex that night, and each one after that, was remarkable.

So now we're trying to figure out where to go from here. I don't want to be in any big rush because life and kids get in the way.....but I do have incredible urges, and I feel like my sex drive is in overdrive. But where and how to find suitable partners????

Has anyone else felt this way, and come around to it in this way? Any advice would be appreciated.

[Tarponn]

Now knowing where you live it may be difficult to take my suggestion. You two just may love visiting a swing club. Lots of people, lots of varied opportunities, all have very workable rules so you will feel safe. My wife and I started that way and just love it. We are not near Vegas but go on occasion. An event for us for sure as we live in the country and feel like a country mouse visiting the city mice. We love to dance and that starts the juices flowing. If in Vegas try the Red Rooster, the very best entertainment value for your Vegas stay. We have nothing to do with the ownership it is just our observation over the last 5 years. I believe you will experence new situations that will make your swinging really personally insightful. Have fun fucking in a crowd it is just the cats.

[jjtrindc]

Your situation is a lot like us. Our advice would be to relax and enjoy the ride! We have been in and out of the lifestyle for several years taking many long breaks for family, kids, jobs, etc. Overall our experience has been pretty vanilla, mostly same room sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, etc. We are moving into soft swap after a recent trip to Desire Cancun. We like the anticipation, the excitement, conversations, the general sexuality that has really exploded between us. It's just as fun as meeting with/playing with other couples in some ways. Enjoy your heightened sex drive with your partner as much as you can and fit in the rest when your schedule allows. We found the slower we take things the more we enjoy the actual meetings because we are comfortable with where we are at. Have we lost some couples because we move to slow? Perhaps. But ultimately we need to feel that we are happy with where we are in all of this.

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board

I can't say we came into this the exact same way, but our desires were similar. Why didn't you and Clint play together this first time ?

Is that what you hope for now, finding a partner or partners for some same room play ?

[sherry05]

Clint and I wanted to play together, but I guess I don't know how to go about asking for this. "Hey, wanna fuck, and btw, can my husband watch and participate?" Most people just don't understand. Right now I'm exploring seeing other guys, and nothing serious has developed yet though there are many irons in the fire. Sometimes I want to rush into it full speed ahead, then cooler heads prevail and I float back down to earth and realize we need to take this slowly.

Sometimes, kids and family life get in the way, and then it's no fun to explore these things. But when we do get the time, then hopefully we'll get some answers and some pleasures also.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by sherry05

Clint and I wanted to play together, but I guess I don't know how to go about asking for this. "Hey, wanna fuck, and btw, can my husband watch and participate?" Most people just don't understand. Right now I'm exploring seeing other guys, and nothing serious has developed yet though there are many irons in the fire. Sometimes I want to rush into it full speed ahead, then cooler heads prevail and I float back down to earth and realize we need to take this slowly.

Sometimes, kids and family life get in the way, and then it's no fun to explore these things. But when we do get the time, then hopefully we'll get some answers and some pleasures also.

I see what your saying.We certainly know about regular life getting in the way of having some fun. I hope you find someone that you can say exactly that to or at least something like " we play together ". Its worth it, finding singles or couples where everyone is involved. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sherry05

[des1re06]

If you haven't already, I would start with swinglifestyle.com.

Look for couples in your area who are interested in single men, and ask for references. Since your first experience was "so-so", I'm sure you'd like to find a more fulfilling male.

I would have no problem with a lady contacting me for references.

Your mention of family life leads me to believe you have young children at home, which can be difficult to work around, but not impossible. Make sure to let your play partners know the trouble you're going to in order to meet them.

We've found there are alot of people who make dates and then don't show. I'd be furious if I had to pay a babysitter.

Good luck and have fun! Also, be careful about letting anyone know where you live.

Mrs. D

[realcplub2]

Ok.. the very first thing YOU need to do Sherry.. Is take some time to YOURSELF.. No kids, no day to day stress, and RELAX.. during this relaxing time, figure out what exactly YOU want..

I hate to use the analogy, but, this lifestyle can be like a sexual candy shop. Every kink or flavor you ever thought of, fantasizied about, HEARD about, is out there somewhere.. And like I kid in a candy store, you need to figure out what YOU want..

Then once you hav taken the time, sit down and talk to your husband about it.. in as much as he is into you with another man, What else does he have in mind? How about you? The key is, despite your first experience to do it together..

As far as threesomes. they are relatively easy to put together, using any of the web sites, plenty of solo males.. you can find someone to talk to, and feel them out , to make sure they are a good match for you, and are what YOU might want..

As far as including your husband, its easy, SAY thats what you want, right up front.. and if anything is out of bounds make sure thats clear as well, to ALL parties involved..including your husband.. a clear set of rules, whats ok for him and whats ok for anyone else..

the dfinal piece of advice is simply this... ENJOY, but enjoy at YOUR OWN PACE..

[sherry05]

Thanks for all of your advice. I guess the 1st thing I have to figure out is whether or not it's exciting for me to take partners outside of the marriage, and leave my husband out of it, till I get home and tell him about it. Or whether the main excitement for me is having him there to witness and participate, or "play" as you say. (Don't know all the jargon or phrases yet at all.) I'm still committed to taking this slow, as kids are a distraction, but they are grown and should be out of the house soon. Then it should be so much easier to think about what WE want, and what I want, and not just what the self-absorbed kids want.

Again, thanks for your input, and I look forward to more. Will check out the other websites that others recommended.

[fundove2]

My iwfe and I do two couples soft and shared both. We are exclusive to them and we do threesome and one on one if the occasion presents itself. If one of the 4 ouf us is out of town we do a threesome or one on one. We love it very much and are very cumfortable with our two couples open totally. It is wonderful to share and be shared. Fundove2@aol.co m