Satisfied???

[socolais]

Do you find "swinger sex" satisfying?

Sure, we enjoy the excitement of the party atmosphere, we enjoy the chase and we generally enjoy swinging. I enjoy the excitement of a fresh playmate and feel some comfort in the knowledge my wife is having her fun too. I'm not really sure how to express it in words, but I think the actual sex is unsatisfying. There's something missing and I'm not sure what it is. Yeah, more often than not, there's a fairly intense orgasm and I'm physically satisfied for the moment. Later, I come to the realization that "something is missing".

Anyone recognise those thoughts?

[VegasLee]

I guess I am just shallow for keeping my life so simple.

I enjoy sex, sex is good. Even so-so sex is good sex.

I never feel anything is missing later because Laura is with me later and she is all I want outside of the sex. I am never looking for anymore then her so I am not missing it.

I feel you can only miss something if you are looking for more then you got.

[theflamekasters]

most of the sex i have had with other woman besides my wife is great!! But it is almost forplay for us alot, because we usually come home and have sex together. That makes it hot for us!! But i enjoy pleasureing a woman, and i get alot out of it. What the wife and i have is special and different, we have different feeling for each other then are play mates. I wouldnt say it is unsatisfying by any means, but it is different!

[two42lovers]

We definately find playing with some peole more satisfying than others - lol! In more ways than one...

For us, sex with friends tends to be more satisfying than one-timers. Especially after the fact. Knowing we are friends, and will see each other again, is a nice feeling, and fits us better. We've found the sex gets more relaxed, and more intense, at the same time. (Sounds strange, but there it is.) If the sex is good the first time, it's usually better the second time, and awesome the third time. Seems to get better and better as we have more time to explore and learn to know each other better.

[lustylearning]

Good question. I read this post aloud to my hubby, because I'd expressed a similar sentiment to him a few weeks back. We both agreed the answer to the question is "yes, sometimes." The real question for us then became, "why?"

There must be something to the lifestyle that keeps people coming back. If it were strictly sex, nothing more than sex, take your individuality and shove it, please, then I suspect many of us wouldn't participate.

After discussing it, hubby came up with an interesting comparison. Sex is like a rollercoaster. You can ride a rollercoaster alone and enjoy it. You can ride it with a stranger and enjoy it more. And it's even more fun when you can ride it with a friend. There is something of value to the human interaction component of enjoying the thrill. Lifestyle is like that for us. We don't need to be friends to enjoy sex with others - we can be happy with the momentary thrill; however, if every experience we had was limited to that, we'd probably quit or limit ourselves severely. It wouldn't be worth the trouble, really.

And all of this may be a throwback to social training, but the bottom line is, as human beings, we are social creatures.

LOL - I feel I should throw in a disclaimer here. We are not a poly couple. We do not "make friends" of all our partners. But, generally speaking, the sexual experiences we enjoy the most and remember the longest are with people with whom we're comfortable socially as well.

Sex is more satisfying with someone you like and who likes you back - that's our $.02.

[fun4Ds]

I cant say something is missing, I smile to much

Before, during and after

I'll have to think about this.... No I wont, it feels negetive. and I wont take myself there. Not today.

Now smile

[Playful1]

I find it satisfying but not in the same way I find sex with someone i love satisfying. I enjoy the swinging sex because it's fun and no strings attached, feels good physically, and i like variety. I enjoy the other because it has the emotional part to it.

So, i guess i find swinger sex satisfying, just differently so.

[gatorvol64]

I've always found it satisfying. Now, I can't say that I've had sex with someone I didn't feel attraction to but most of us can say that. I could be a strange female here, but I don't have a problem separating sex and love. I don't have to have warm feelings for someone. I like sex. Plain and simple. Sex with Gator around in any capacity only enhances it. Now, most playmates have been repeat playmates and that leads to better sex because you have the chance to learn more about what pleases them.

No, I don't find myself missing anything.

Vol

[JustAskJulie]

I guess I'm just not understanding the question. I tend to agree with Lee and this is not an exception. To me if you aren't finding swinging or swinger sex satisfying then your expectations are set too high and you are wanting something more out of swinging than it can really be expected to give.

To me, swinging isn't just about the sex, it's about everything that surrounds it.. the increased communication, the flirting, the fun, the foreplay, the interest, everything. Sure there are nights when we go out to a club or meet people that aren't all that satisfying but it has nothing to do with the sex (IMO) but more to do with the overall night. We went out to have fun and for whatever reason we didn't. Maybe we just weren't feeling the "vibe" that night, not into the music, didn't really connect with anyone we met. But, in the end we go home together and if nothing else we had some time together... and then we'll have sex together and our sex together is always satisfying. For that matter, I can't really recall ever having bad swinger sex... even if the guy couldn't get/keep it up, I didn't get off or whatever, it was still fun just messing around. I guess to me it's like having sex in the backseat of a car.... it might be have been better if it was on a bed, but it was still fun and exciting

[socolais]

I think I found closure on this and addressed it in my blog Honey, I love you, go have some HOT sex

[sexcupid]

Interesting blog post...as well as an interesting thread.

For me, I like the social aspect of swinging. And this is going to sound horrible...but take it for what it's worth...I don't think that I am going to have some deep, mystical, earth-shaking experience while swinging.

Do I have fun? You bet. Do I think the sex is anything to write home about? Haven't had any of that yet. Fun, sexy times? Oh yes. Some not so great times? You better believe it.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by socolais

I think I found closure on this and addressed it in my blog Honey, I love you, go have some HOT sex

How sweet . . . And to a point, I can identify. We've been at this for awhile now, and we don't really get nervous before a party, and we haven't "hooked up" with anyone new for awhile. So the "thrill of the chase" has been missing, but only a little. We have a great group of friends we enjoy hanging out and playing with. While we're not actively seeking out anyone else, if someone should come along that really revs our engines, we wouldn't pass them by.

As to the sex itself? For the most part, I have found it satisfying, but it'll never reach the level that Mr. Sweet and I are on. And I am just fine with that.

=)

[gatorvol64]

....each smile I share with a playmate is a steamy hot love note from her....

Yeah, that's good closure. I love that thought!

Vol

[3sumff]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

Good question. I read this post aloud to my hubby, because I'd expressed a similar sentiment to him a few weeks back. We both agreed the answer to the question is "yes, sometimes." The real question for us then became, "why?"

There must be something to the lifestyle that keeps people coming back. If it were strictly sex, nothing more than sex, take your individuality and shove it, please, then I suspect many of us wouldn't participate.

After discussing it, hubby came up with an interesting comparison. Sex is like a rollercoaster. You can ride a rollercoaster alone and enjoy it. You can ride it with a stranger and enjoy it more. And it's even more fun when you can ride it with a friend. There is something of value to the human interaction component of enjoying the thrill. Lifestyle is like that for us. We don't need to be friends to enjoy sex with others - we can be happy with the momentary thrill; however, if every experience we had was limited to that, we'd probably quit or limit ourselves severely. It wouldn't be worth the trouble, really.

And all of this may be a throwback to social training, but the bottom line is, as human beings, we are social creatures.

LOL - I feel I should throw in a disclaimer here. We are not a poly couple. We do not "make friends" of all our partners. But, generally speaking, the sexual experiences we enjoy the most and remember the longest are with people with whom we're comfortable socially as well.

Sex is more satisfying with someone you like and who likes you back - that's our $.02.

Wow! After reading your response, we can totally relate to what you say. We have often discussed the "Why." What have we gotten from it. Some good times and some not so good times. We have never found a friendship with anyone in the lifestyle. Perhaps it is intentional on our part to not make friends. I don't know! I think we would like some friends, but friends who understood that when we hang out it doesn't mean we are going to be having sex.
Neither one of us have ever felt that overwhelming, toe curling or howling at the moon orgasm with anyone else. I think it is because of the connection that we don't have with the other couples. Who knows, maybe we are just reading way too much in our sexual escapades.
Yes, absolutely the thought of it is so exciting, but the reality of it isn't all that great. I believe we have found "our place" in swinging. We aren't looking for it anymore, but we will always keep the option open. To possible friendships or whatever our mood is at the time.

[WesternSwing]

I don't ever come away feeling "something was missing" because I do not going in looking for anything more than recreational sex with a woman I badly want to get naked. However, I have come away going "Wow... that was more than I expected" when I've connected with a partner on more than just a physical level.

Mr. WS