Abnormal is Normal...

[rickmccool]

According to an article in the latest issue of Psychology Today about 25% or the population harbor some type of fantasy, kink, fetish or dark secret not considered normal. For instance the guy who surfs the web looking for shemale sites to get off on, or the prim and proper schoolteacher who loves getting spanked, etc., etc.. This does not include pedophiles or other types harmful to society. The good news is that generally these people are usually the adventurous and daring types who shape the world. Generally the 75% considered normal usually lead bland and uneventful lives.

Does that make you feel better about yourself? Does me.

[cataryna]

Friends and I used to jokingly say "We are the normal people. Everyone else (non-swingers) are the freaks."

[socolais]

Depending on where one would draw the line, I think it's much higher than 25%. They don't call FMF "every man's fantasy" for nothing....

[ktimephoenix]

good to see the research proves what i often suspected.

for too long people have tried to put sexuality into a neat little box. well it doesn't fit neatly.

[Trace Ekies]

A dear friend of mine who was in the new and used car business for years used to say, 'there's an ass for every seat'. He used this to explain the sales of the Gremlin and the AMC Eagle.

In a sexual context this would explain alot of things that are outside of my comfort zone, like say, scat. Somewhere somebody will refer to this kink as normal. For me, not so normal...but like I said, 'there's an ass for every seat'.

Like socolais, I believe the numbers to be much higher even if you make the standard for normal those things that...

Someone please define "normal" once and for all so I can finish my point.

EVERBODY has a fantasy or kink beyond what they believe to be normal. If you define scat as normal I can't imagine what would be beyond normal but I'm sure that person can tell me.

[ktimephoenix]

Exactly... even with the difficulty in defining "normal", i'd say that the percentage is probably closer to 75% of people having a fantasy outside societies "normal", be if from racial taboo, to scat, golden showers, rough sex, anal play, or whatever.

the difference is the 25% quoted are those that aren't trying to "repress" those desires.

probably why they are the go getters as well... if you don't have the courage to ask for a finger up your arse while recieving head, you probably don't have the fortitude to make the tough calls required to be a go getter.

[sweet_tna]

What is normal, anyway? According to Dictionary.com:

nor·mal Pronunciation[nawr-muhl]
–adjective
1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2. serving to establish a standard.

Hmmm . . . We, as swingers, really aren't a "standard or common type". Even within the lifestlye, there are so many variations. Mr. Sweet's and my variation seems pretty natural to us, though.

As for establishing a standard, we attempt to do that with our various terminologies ("soft swing", "full swing", vanilla, etc.), but often fall short because each term is still relatively subjective.

So where does that leave us? Still in that 25%, if the statistics are accurate . . .

=)

[realcplub2]

Just remember.. When guaging whats normal to use YOUR own yard stick, not someone elses..

Next more important question.. Who exactly is the ruling party to say Who is or Isn't normal..

How about a bit of Do you recall...

Jimmy Swaggart?
Jim Baker?

Card Carrying members of the Moral Majority..

Hmm.. Exactly how many shadows did thier flashlights hide?

Seen the latest commercials for direct TV.. the cable company board sitting around and the brillant exec throwing the line

"90% of all figures can made to say what we want, 50% of the time.."

So, to some up.. Normal... ACCORDING TO WHO?

[rickmccool]

Hmmmm... Now I have a reputation as a 'kinky poster'. Is that good or bad?

[swing52001]

Don't worry about it rickmccool, it's probably [i]normal[i] to feel that way.

[ownerspet]

Originally Posted by rickmccool

According to an article in the latest issue of Psychology Today about 25% or the population harbor some type of fantasy, kink, fetish or dark secret not considered normal.

Does that make you feel better about yourself? Does me.

First: I think it is probably higher than 25%. I believe due to the pressures of general society and what general society as a whole portrays as expectations, several people would not admit to harboring such fantasies even in a closed anonymous setting out of fear of being an outcast in their social circles. Among other kinks, I enjoy giving spankings and receiving on occasion, and I consider myself an average guy.

Second: In reference to individuals kink fetish or secret not considered normal: We really need to look at what normal is really defined by, the norms or acceptable behavior or ideas on how to conduct oneself by the individuals, environment, and population around those individuals with the "kink" or "fetish". You have to consider that as we live our lives from day to day all of these things change because of the way most swingers (well most non-swingers also) need to compartmentalize their lives (work compartment, family compartment, extended family compartment, vanilla friends compartment, neopolitan friends compartment, etc). I've found that norms or accepted behavior in one group of freinds may not be acceptable to other groups of friends (you can tell this just by the reactions of some friends when you integrate different compartments of friends). So point is normal for most individuals constantly changes.

Third and Finnally (to sum up first and second): Even though I realize normal is relative to where you are with respect to what compartment you're in, I still have that fear of non-acceptance as many do (but most don't admit their fears, and if I'm odd because I do admit them, so be it). However, with the article that shows that many have fetishes or kinks of some sort, it does make me feel better. And, it should give others confidnence in the activities they want to engage in, and reduce fears of non-acceptance.

Note: Don't get me wrong, and go into work thinking you can tell them about how you spanked your wife or what ever your fetish is. You may find yourself without a job or no longer in some groups of freinds that aren't as open-minded.

That's my 2 cents ........+ a nickle....

[eubiotist]

For me, "normal" means "harmless and consensual". If what you want to do doesn't physically injure anyone, doesn't make anyone sick or inappropriately pregnant, doesn't deliberately upset or offend anyone, doesn't threaten or disrupt anyone's relationship, and isn't initiated or maintained by deception, coercion, or exploitation, then it's "normal", no matter how unconventional it might be.

[bryanlee]

The norm is different for every group of people. Even in a group of friends there are norms. Things that are and aren't accepted among those people. I just choose not to compare myself to anyone else. I will always be normal when compared to myself, lol.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by rickmccool

Hmmmm... Now I have a reputation as a 'kinky poster'. Is that good or bad?

I'd say bein' bad is pretty darned good. . . but maybe I'm the wrong person to ask . . .

=)

[Mr. Sweet]

Normal is having Sex

Abnormal is not having Sex

(add whatever adjectives, adverbs, etc. that you would like or dislike)

It's all Semantics and Perspectives!!!!!!!