Fairness in swinging and in sex....

[sexcupid]

In the interest of trying to keep things 'fair' we tend to prefer to play with couples so that one of us is probably not left sitting on the sidelines when we go to a party or meet up with another couple.

Now, more likely than not, he will probably have an orgasm during a swing encounter than I will...but I don't think that's "unfair".

Personally the only gripe I've ever had in the issue of "fairness" or something I would like to actually see happen is something like this: give me oral and then leave me alone. That's right...alone. They are the most intense O's and sometimes I just don't have the energy for an hour of sex (either before or after the orgasm actually)...I mean, this isn't just Jeff I'm talking about...of all the partners (there haven't been a ton of them...but enough to know a trend when I see it lol) I've had...I've yet to have one just do the oral thing and not expect to move on to sex or oral for them...even though they are perfectly ok with oral only on them and being left alone (ie no further expectation) to bliss out.

[two42lovers]

Depends on what you mean by "fair". When we think of fair, we think of mutual effort. If each partner works wholeheartedly to please the other, it's all wonderful fun, regardless of who gets off how much. If a play partner isn't into pleasing and expects to recieve but not give pleasure, ultimately we stop playing with them and switch to our own partner (or someone else.)

The OP asks about fairness as it relates to both halves of a couple getting equal play opportunities. We tend to prefer 2 or 3 couples in one big bed, and everyone is playing together, and going from partner to partner. We always play with each other as well as the others at the same time.

As for MFM and FMF, we do plenty of both and very much enjoy both. In both cases we are playing with each other the whole time - while including our friend. No one is left out. We always look out for each other's pleasure - and our play partner's pleasure, too.