The Ultimate Excuse

[two42lovers]

I feel like you are taking personal issue with what I'm saying

Personal? Not at all! In the OP it was just a general question - you later gave an example from your own experience.

But the question is about white lies to avoid playing with someone.

"It's that time of the month". Have you ever used this excuse when it wasn't the truth to avoid playing with someone?

Again, the real issue is do we ever have to give reasons. In your example you mentioned the reason for the white lie is so you don't have to go into the yeast infection thing. Why give a reason at all? Why buy into the idea people can ask you why?

I can just see that leading to a "why not?" fest in which I'm still going to have to either go on to say "well gee, I got this infection ya see..." or I can just go with the easy answer of "I'm broken"...

You say you can just see it leading to being asked why. But if you said "not tonight, but maybe another time?" I doubt you'd have many asking you why not? (It's just not acceptable to ask someone that.)

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by two42lovers

You say you can just see it leading to being asked why. But if you said "not tonight, but maybe another time?" I doubt you'd have many asking you why not? (It's just not acceptable to ask someone that.)

You evidently haven't encountered the same slice of the population that I have. I have found it best to be as succinct as possible when saying "no", the more room you leave for the questions, the more questions will follow. Is it acceptable? Maybe not to you, but it seems to be to everyone else, so they do ask.

[two42lovers]

Wow. Never even imagined it. You are used to people in on-premise clubs asking why not, and wanting you to justify your choices?

"Do you want to play?"
"Not tonight, but maybe another time."
"Not tonight? Why not?"
Only answer that's coming after that is "Why not? Cause I said". We don't abide with pushy people.

[JustAskJulie]

I wasn't even referring to just on-premise clubs. This actually happened to us this past weekend at on off-premise social... and the guy got pissed off when we gave our reason as being that I was broken and responded with a "well then what the hell are you doing here?". Granted in this situation (and any when someone gets upset with whatever answer you give),the problem is theirs... the guy spent most of the night proving to me why there was no reason I'd fuck him (and had we not thought his wife was so damn hot, we never would have given him so many chances).

In general, tho, I'd rather give a reason why not tonight, than to just say "not tonight" and even if they do walk away with that reason, they are likely to walk away thinking that "not tonight" was just a nice way of saying "never" (and yes that has happened as well... at both on-premise clubs and non-club meetings).

Should you ever have to justify an answer? In a perfect world, no. In reality, you often end up doing it for a lot of different reasons.

[TNT]

I'm not sure what all the hoopla is about here...Julie asked a question...

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

"It's that time of the month". Have you ever used this excuse when it wasn't the truth to avoid playing with someone?

She gave an example of her using the excuse...when it wasn't exactly the truth but, sounded better than the actual truth.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Or I will admit I have used it when there were other issues going on (yeast infection for example) because it just didn't sound as bad.

You've been going back and forth with her about why someone would even have to give an excuse.

Originally Posted by two42lovers

But the question is about white lies to avoid playing with someone.

Again, the real issue is do we ever have to give reasons.


You say you can just see it leading to being asked why. But if you said "not tonight, but maybe another time?" I doubt you'd have many asking you why not? (It's just not acceptable to ask someone that.)

No we don't HAVE to give an excuse but...having turned people down for the night and having been asked "Why not?" more times than I can count...I can see where a little white lie of "I'm broken" can save a lot of hurt feelings. It's much better than saying "I don't want to fuck you tonight" or "Any night".

Originally Posted by two42lovers

Wow. Never even imagined it. You are used to people in on-premise clubs asking why not, and wanting you to justify your choices?

"Do you want to play?"
"Not tonight, but maybe another time."
"Not tonight? Why not?"
Only answer that's coming after that is "Why not? Cause I said". We don't abide with pushy people.

It happens at on-premise, off-premise, house parties, conventions...you name it, it happens.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who just can't take "No thank you" for an answer...they want a reason and they will bug the piss out of you until you give them one.

I personally have never used the excuse of "I'm broken" unless it was the truth and even after having told them that, I was still hounded to play and it pissed me off and did make me look at the guy as being pushy.


Teresa

[Tia Vampire]

We have never used it as an excuse and probably wouldn't. Being straight foward is the best way.

[2insandiego4u]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

"It's that time of the month". Have you ever used this excuse when it wasn't the truth to avoid playing with someone?

LOL! We think it would be better to say she has really bad cramps instead. Some guys just don't care about the bloody side of "that time of the month".

[two42lovers]

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who just can't take "No thank you" for an answer...they want a reason and they will bug the piss out of you until you give them one.

As long as you are happy it's all good. We personally don't give reasons, or ask if our choices are OK with the people we tell "no thanks", but if you decide you want to, that's great.