Ever want to call their spouse with a little FYI?

[loveohio]

Hi,

Longtime lurker and newbie swinger. Already had some interesting experiences (play and not) and here's the latest:

Email back n forth with sls member, all going well - then we IM, then couple phone calls. Getting along great, things are clicking...all looking good.

Now, please keep in mind that our profile states that we are only interested in single men. Our email replies to men that contact us also state that we are not interested in married men who are cheating.

So how is it that it was just this evening (2nd phone call to plan a meeting) that this guy tells me "uhhh...well, I am actually married right now" - and then of course goes into his justification story about how he loves wife, but she is frigid, etc. and he "has needs" and that his marital status shouldn't matter as "we aren't looking to get into a relationship...this is all about casual sex anyway."

Ahhhh! Just because I'm willing to swing does NOT mean I'm willing to be a party to your cheating and dishonesty! I don't know if I'm too high up on my soapbox right now - but at this moment in time I think this guy is a piece of sh** for cheating on his wife.

The devil in me wants to call her (I now have their home number - so he's a cheater, but not a very bright one!) and tell her what her scumbag husband is up to. I don't think I will, but the thought definitely crossed my mind.

Just wondering if this is something that happens alot? Considering we've only had profiles on a couple sites for a couple weeks now, I wonder if this is a fluke or something we're just going to have to expect to run into from time to time?

[redgirlwithfrec]

Without being in your shoes we cannot tell you what to do but we would be very tempted to make that call. Cheating and swinging are two completely different things and the two should never meet.

[two4youinswva]

I know the temptation to call her is there.
-But I don't think it's worth it.
There's enough drama in life already. Why open the opportunity for more?


I've heard lots of anecdotal evidence of married guys trying to get involved without the wife's knowledge. As for a percentage of ads that are married guys, or how truly prevalent they are, I'm not sure. I just know there's enough of them out there that they regularly get a mention on here.

So, yes, I would say you are going to run into it from time to time. Just use a good vetting process, and you will probably get good at weeding them out.

Best of luck to both of you!

[JustAskJulie]

I take it he was listed on SLS as a single male? If so, then report him there.

[Chicup]

“The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do the right deed for the wrong reason.” - T.S. Eliot

You are mad at the guy since he lied to you, you don't really care about his wife. Maybe before he cheats for real he will have a change of heart, maybe he won't, but I wouldn't involve another person and create a drama shit storm just to get even with the guy.

[loveohio]

Thanks for the replies. I am not going to contact his wife - just meant to say that it was tempting, because if my husband was cheating on me I would want to know.

But as for my thread, I guess I'm just more venting than anything. It's just disappointing to run across someone like that.

But I guess I'll encounter all sorts of interesting folks as I go - fingers crossed there are more good encounters than bad!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

[two42lovers]

Only way to know a solo guy is on the up-and-up is to only play with married guys who have permission, and to confirm it personally with the spouse. You can't prove a negative - so a married guy can prove he has permission, but a single guy can't easily prove he doesn't need it.

It's always crazy to hear about cheaters who lie to their spouse but somehow decide to tell you the truth. (How does that make sense?) Seems like if the guy is lying to his wife, he would have the good sense to lie to you as well.

If you have the time and inclination to investigate a guy who claims to be single, or if you are willing to just take him at his word, unmarried guys are great. Only way to know he isn't a cheater is if he is married and you have personally talked to his wife.

[theflamekasters]

Originally Posted by two42lovers

Only way to know a solo guy is on the up-and-up is to only play with married guys who have permission, and to confirm it personally with the spouse. You can't prove a negative - so a married guy can prove he has permission, but a single guy can't easily prove he doesn't need it.

It's always crazy to hear about cheaters who lie to their spouse but somehow decide to tell you the truth. (How does that make sense?) Seems like if the guy is lying to his wife, he would have the good sense to lie to you as well.

If you have the time and inclination to investigate a guy who claims to be single, or if you are willing to just take him at his word, unmarried guys are great. Only way to know he isn't a cheater is if he is married and you have personally talked to his wife.

I think two42 has it correct here, imo