3rd?

[Playful1]

Ok, question...

When you see a couple that you know, and most of the time when you see them out or at a party/gathering of theirs, you see a certain single female, and you almost never see said single female out and about at something this couple is not at....what do you assume/think about the relationship between the couple and that single female? Assuming the couple and single female are obviously very close(or at least one half is), hang out when at the same event, she is always invited to things at their place, etc.

-do you assume she is there 3rd?
-do you assume coincidence?
-do you assume they are just friends?
-do you not assume anything and just go with the flow?

Thanks

[TNT]

I'd probably assume they were just friends...I might wonder if they were more than just friends but...I'd also think if they were more than friends...pretty damn cool and good for them.


Teresa

[Playful1]

See, that's what I thought...people would think they're just friends I ask this as the single female in said equation, and I sometimes wonder what other people think. I also admit to having been told to be careful because 'some people might think [one half] is somehow not being fair to [other half]'. i.e. concerned about how it would appear to be seen with single female so much and so close.

[Dynamar]

I guess I'm scratching my head and thinking... "who cares what other people think?"

My two best friends in life are two men--a gay couple. They are openly gay and have been a couple for about 7 years. We have been friends for the past 3-1/2 years, work in a business together and are seen around town together constantly, sometimes the 3 of us all together and at other times me with one or the other of them.

I'm at their house in the country quite a bit. We cook and watch movies and hang out and I sleep over often (on the couch). Whether in public or in private, we are affectionate but not sexually intimate. (Well... unless you count when one of them has a little too much to drink and likes to make out with me... LOL).

I don't really think about what people think, nor would I really care what their conclusions are. Now... if one of them would just wake up bi-sexual some day, we'd make the perfect couple!

[Playful1]

^^^lol, I love that!

I totally agree, I dont give a d*mn what others think, but I care enough about these folks that I wanted to put the question out there and see, you know?

[JustAskJulie]

I think some will assume that you are a threesome and therefore that YOU are not approachable (already taken). That is the biggest thing I would be a bit concerned about.

[ncmd_couple]

My wife arranged for a lady friend of our's to go to the club together one night. She had matching dresses for both of them, and matching seethrough dresses for them to change into later. I walked into the club with two lovely ladies on my arms and the reaction was... Damn... you lucky bastard! We had a great time that night. Don't worry about what others think, because what they think does not shape your relationship with your friends unless you let it. Also, don't let it shape your relationship with others that you meet. Be yourself, have fun, and if someone decides that you are not approachable, their loss.

S

[Playful1]

Hmmm...I never thought about that. I know it's never been an issue for me, but that might be because i do wander off on my own sometimes and generally will talk to people as a "separate entity" so to speak. Then again, the couple I know is certainly attractive enough that people never seem to mind the 3 of us, lol.

It just interests me, the different ways things can be taken. A lot of people(vanilla people), I think, don't think about the social issues that really do come up in swinging. They all think it's just a bunch of people having sex all the time.

I will say sometimes it is awkward as the single in said situation since most people have to take a minute to figure out how to talk to us. I am introduced as "our friend" but it still seems to cause a moment of "huh?". Then again, the guy has the advantage of being known as "the guy with 2 hot chicks" lol, which can't be all that bad

[TNT]

When I first posted to this, I honestly didn't even realize you were the single female in the equation (I've had a bit to drink tonight ) but...your situation reminds me of a time that Ted and I took a very good, very close friend with us to a social.

Being the person that I am at socials, I was walking around, talking to everyone, by myself...everyone I stopped to talk to would ask me if I was there alone or was I there with my husband...I'd reply I was with my husband...they would then ask met to point him out...I'd ask which one, I have two husbands tonight It was really freaking people out.

In your situation, I honestly wouldn't worry about what people thought, unless it really bothers you...then I still wouldn't worry what they thought.


Teresa

[Playful1]

^^^thank you, that is very sweet of you. Honestly, I never worried too much, I always watched my behavior when I was out with them, to make sure I didn't make anything awkward, but I worry sometimes, because I never want to be a problem for them. I care a great deal about them, and so I just wanted to see...

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Playful1

^^^thank you, that is very sweet of you. Honestly, I never worried too much, I always watched my behavior when I was out with them, to make sure I didn't make anything awkward, but I worry sometimes, because I never want to be a problem for them. I care a great deal about them, and so I just wanted to see...

Ask them (your friends) how they feel about it...what others think of the three of you shouldn't concern you...only what you and the couple thinks is what you should be concerned about.

That really is sweet that you are concerned for your couple friends, everyone should be as lucky as they are to have a friend like you


Teresa