Do you swing for the same reasons?

[LFM2]

Mr. LFM and I got to talking about this the other night. We agree we both swing for the excitement of seeing each other with someone else.

However, I am more into this for the selfless aspect of wanting him to experience something that he can't get with just me and I just love to watch to look on his face when he gets that.

He's much more into the lifestyle just for the "sex" of it. At least a little more than I am. Don't get me wrong, I love the sex!

He's the one that searches the sites, looks for couples or singles that he thinks may be a match and arranges the dates to meet.

I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts into words, but hopefully, you'll know what I mean. I feel we're both on the same level of swinging, but he's a bit more excited about it than I am. Does that make sense?

[fun4Ds]

We swing for a lot of different reasons between us. Sometimes you might say we are like cat and dog different, eating out of the same dish though

[socolais]

Yes, we both swing for the same reason - the outrageous sex with each other after the party. Yes, of course the party "wants" to be fun and exciting but if it wasn't for the extra boost we get afterward, we probably wouldn't keep doing this. She's more serendiptious and I'm more of a planner, so whatever happens at the party, she's finding a way to have a good time. While I'll be having more fun if the activities are more predictable.

[evrclr50]

I am not sure that my wife and I want to swing for the same reasons. about a year ago we met with a couple three times and had a lot of fun. after the third time my wife felt we needed to stop for a while, which was fne. Now we are talking to this couple again and it doesn't seem that she is really in it for the enjoyment that she had last time.

Any ideas?

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

We swing for a lot of different reasons between us. Sometimes you might say we are like cat and dog different, eating out of the same dish though

Now, why the hell couldn't I come up with that? That's exactly what I meant!!

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by evrclr50

I am not sure that my wife and I want to swing for the same reasons. about a year ago we met with a couple three times and had a lot of fun. after the third time my wife felt we needed to stop for a while, which was fne. Now we are talking to this couple again and it doesn't seem that she is really in it for the enjoyment that she had last time.

Any ideas?

Have you talked with her about this? Did you both talk about why you stopped the first time? What do you think she is in this for? Can you tell us a little more?

BTW... to the board!!

[evrclr50]

Yes we have talked about it, quite a bit. The reason we stopped the first time was she felt that I was somehow slipping away from her. She says that now she knows that i wasn't. As far as my thoughts on why she getting back into it, right now i think she is more testing me before she gets back into it to much. she has had more experience than i have from previous relationships She has always enjoyed the lifestyle. as far as there being one event that caused her feelings last time, i don't know of any.

and thanks for the welcome

[BiloxiCouple]

Even as a couple of many years we are interested in similar things for different reasons. Sex for a man is not the same as sex for a woman and we get our own different pleasures from it.

[lakeluvrs]

We actually discussed this once and listed our reasons for enjoying swinging. In order of importance, it went like this:

For me,
1) Seeing her having sex with other men.
2) Getting to have sex with lots of different shapes, sizes, and types of women.
3) Enhancement of our own sexual relationship.

For her,
1) Showing off for me (see #1 above)
2) Enhancement of our own sexual relationship.
3) Finding the occasional guy that rocks her world in ways I can't.

Different reasons and different order, but highly compatible, I would say.

[willyoats]

I (male) have a long list of reasons I wanted to start swinging.

I wanted to screw some other women without the messiness of having an affair and its associated deceptions and sneaking around and drama if the other woman gets crazy.
I wanted to give her the opportunity to have some kinds of sex and excitement that I knew she could not have just with me.
I wanted to see her screwing another guy or guys.
I wanted to be immersed in a really sexy atmosphere, like a swing club.
There was the possibility of an orgy.
There was the (remote) possibility of screwing someone who had a more voluptuous body than my wife. (only happened twice)
I hoped that we would make some really good firends outside of the bedroom, and that has happened.

She had exactly one reason to start: I wanted to do it and she wanted to give me what I wanted. She was indifferent to swinging because she was quite happy with our sex life as it was. However, she knew that I would never put aside the curiosity about screwing other women until I actually did it. She was certain that when I did it, it would not threaten our relationship and that it would enhace our own sex life. She was right on all counts.