Pushing over the boundary

[Malachista]

Had you ever had the feeling that you behaved a bit out of line at a club?
Even if you had not gotten a offical warning from the host, did you still have the feeling to not go to that place anymore? Or not going for at least a certain while?
How would you react if the host would ask you to stay away not at the night it happend but the next time you RSVPd?

[ncmd_couple]

Malachista,

Well, some times there are misunderstandings. We have seen that happen, and my lovely wife dived right in and corrected the situation. I would sugget that you contact the host and find out exactly what the situation is. This lifestyle is about open communications. That goes for our play partners, our spouses or SOs, as well as the hosts of parties. Talk to him or her and find out what the issue is and go from there.

S

[sweet_tna]

If I ever felt I'd gotten "out of line" at a club, I'd make sure I apologized to anyone involved as soon as possible. If an RSVP were declined at a subsequent party, I would certainly ask the host WHY, and do my best to see that the issue is resolved.

I would not just "lay low" without talking to anyone, because that would not solve anything. If asked to sit out a round or two as a result of my behavior, I'd take it in stride.

Hope it all works out for you.

=)

[ownerspet]

It sounds like some decent input you've received, however what went on the night that you felt as if you were out of line?

[Malachista]

nothing happend to me, but the hosts at my regular club seem to be going a bit strange.
In the past weeks they first domineerd on a woman who had drunk a bit too much the week before (ignoring or watering down her orders at the bar, taking away drinks she got form the self-serv bar)

And just another week after that they could-shouldered a guy because he made a joke about the hostess dress the night before.

Both the guy and the girl are regulars, often at the bluc both nights of the weekend since over a year. The hosts didn't talk about the problems on the nights they happend but the next time they showed up soon after.

So it really got me to wonder if things would have been diffrent if they waited longet to go to that club again.
Guess it really comes down that the hosts start to have issues ... why treat regulars like shit just because one out of 50 times they did something unwise?
Would it not have been a better aproch to tell the woman that she should be carefull not to drink to much again or tell the guy right when he made the joke that he had gone too far?

So yeah, I guess I'm curretly not going there because I have an issue of how the hosts acted...

[VegasLee]

When guests at our club get out of line I do my best to talk to them at the time, in private. Sometimes I ask them to leave for the night and they know why they are being asked to leave.

There are times that talking then is not a good idea. Normally dealing with a drunk problem, drunks like to get loud and argue. When that happens I will send them out peacefully for the night then talk to them in private the next time they come to the club. I don't talk to guests in front of other guests unless the person gives me no option.

Whether is is one in fifty times, one in one hundred or one in a thousand times, guests at a party so mind their manners and use good common sense.

We have a simple policy about acting up in any way. In most cases you will be asked to leave for the night. You argue or get in my face or make a scene you are out for six months. Second time, you are just out for life, I don't care how many years you have been coming to the party. Anytime you get physical with me or one of my staff you are out for life.

It has to be this way. 800 plus people come here to party each week. I don't need people starting drama for all those other people. It is not the place for it. Leave your drama at home or find a new place to party.

These parties are for adults and I expect everyone to act like an adult.

[good times]

I have seen this happen at clubs to, but being a regular myself, I have noticed that the people that are not welcome back usually have a history of abuse of good sense. To someone not so regular it might appear that they were kicked out for a relatively minor offense, but to those who have observed their behavior over time, it is usually no surprise when the host has had enough of them.

[JustAskJulie]

If there is a problem the hosts should deal with it at the time it occurs. Sometimes they don't realize what happened until it is reported the next day in which case they should contact the individual at that time and warn them about the situation.

It sounds like perhaps these club hosts don't like confrontation so instead of just dealing with the problem when it occurs they choose to go the round about way and treat the individual poorly. Of course, this is just from what you have seen and you may not know the whole story. The hosts may have talked to the people about these situations and you just don't know it.

We've had this happen here on the site many times where people assume they know what is going on just by what they see publicly, but there is much more that is not seen (situations handled outside of the public view). So you can never assume you know exactly what is going on unless you are directly involved in the situation.

As to your original question. Years ago I attended a house party regularly with my ex husband and something did happen there one night with the hosts (and myself) that left me not wanting to go back for a few months. The situation was not my fault, it was a breach of their rules by the husband of the couple... I just got caught in the ensuing drama and as such felt like it was my fault. I should not have let it get to me as much as I did and we did avoid their parties for a couple of months because of it.