Signs that your partner MIGHT be open to swinging

[JustAskJulie]

Saw this in the "I've created a Monster" thread and my first thought was .... Hmmm.. Signs that your partner MIGHT be open to the idea of swinging:

Originally Posted by JustMrJ

What I found really surprising about my wife was that when we just dating and not even engaged yet, she was pointing out other women to me.

Another one that I would add....

If your partner brings up OTHER (what might be considered) alternative interests.

This could be a useful thread if others can add to it... so what other things MIGHT be useful signs that your partner MIGHT be open to the idea of swinging.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Another one that I would add....
If your partner brings up OTHER (what might be considered) alternative interests.

Don't know it for a fact, but I've heard lots of folks that are into The Society for Creative Anachronism events (Renaissance Fairs) are also swingers.


I will add that if your spouse gets turned on during sex by dirty talk involving a third person, he/she MIGHT be open to swinging.

[havefuninsun]

oooo good ones!

How about that your partner doesn't get jealous when slightly flirting with the opposite sex?

(I'm trying to think of me and how I may have exuded the idea to Mr. Fun ...)

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

oooo good ones!

How about that your partner doesn't get jealous when slightly flirting with the opposite sex?

(I'm trying to think of me and how I may have exuded the idea to Mr. Fun ...)

For that matter, if you find that your partner often seems to be flirting with the opposite (or same) sex, they MIGHT be open to swinging.

[socolais]

When I first read this, I just KNEW it was one of those posts from some stand-up comic routine. Like "If you come home from work and find your spouse in the middle of a puppy pile on the inflatable matresses in your living room, then your spouse MIGHT be a swinger."

But since this is a serious thread....

I think the appeal of swinging that "set the hook" for us was the sense of adventure through swinging. I think it doesn't translate to a post very well, but swinging allows us to enjoy a little weekend adventure whenever we get the urge. We control some of the variables and leave some to serindipity - It's a near perfect combination for us. The other benefits of swinging keep us coming back for more.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by socolais

When I first read this, I just KNEW it was one of those posts from some stand-up comic routine. Like "If you come home from work and find your spouse in the middle of a puppy pile on the inflatable matresses in your living room, then your spouse MIGHT be a swinger."

I'll admit it, every time I've typed it, I've heard Jeff Foxworthy in my head!

(there actually is a "you might be a swinger" thread around here somewhere).

[celtic239]

I have taken the sage advice of many of you veterans and NOT pushed but gently hinted at the prospects of taking a closer look at the Lifestyle. After two years of patience I saw the Mrs reading my copy of Recreational Sex by Patti Thomas that I took with us recently on vacation. She didn't notice me observing her reading the book and I didn't bring it up in conversation. Later that night she stated that "I was reading one of YOUR books". Playing dumb I said what book (since I took about four with me on vacation that covered different subject material), she eventually stated "You know one of YOUR swinger books". I then stated in a cheerful and positive manner "Wow, it's great that you are taking an interest in this" She then said something that leads me to believe that she's open to exploring the Lifestyle "Do you think we're too old to get involved in that stuff". This was the very first time that I noticed that she was actually giving some consideration to the idea. I told her that even though we are in our 50's that there are probably many people our age and that I repeated that the people that we have met at the Clothing Optional resorts were really down to earth and that I enjoyed their company. I reiterated what all the books have said that she didn't and I didn't have to "do anybody" if we don't want to. I said that had we gotten married in our 20's instead of 30's then we would probably be having this conversation when we were in our 40's. I said that it was OUR time to have fun and get a sense of exictment back. I explained that in my 20's in was in the service and then went on to school. I got out of the service, met her, finished college and then went on to law school. Our first child was born in my last year and we've been raising our kids ever since besides the both of us working. I told her I thought we deserved to get involved in something that excites us and that we can both enjoy while we are physically able to.
Then as a lark I said why don't we take a weekend for ourselves and attend a swingers club just to see what it's like. Lo and behold she said "OK" . Sorry for the long story but I thought it may be useful for others.

[ViSexual]

OK, Celtic, and how did the visit to the club go?

And, don't worry about how long it is!

[Sir Dude]

I've been interested in swinging for as long as I can remember. My wife knew I liked the idea but we never talked serious about it. However, she always flirted with my friend and they had some chemsitry. I enjoyed watching them flirt.

So when I brought up the idea, she asked, "WHo?" When I mentioned his name she seemed fine with the idea. Her first words were, "OK but stay away from my ass. I don't want two of you inside me at once." After a minor setback, we started soon after.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by celtic239

I have taken the sage advice of many of you veterans and NOT pushed but gently hinted at the prospects of taking a closer look at the Lifestyle. After two years of patience I saw the Mrs reading my copy of Recreational Sex by Patti Thomas that I took with us recently on vacation. She didn't notice me observing her reading the book and I didn't bring it up in conversation. Later that night she stated that "I was reading one of YOUR books". Playing dumb I said what book (since I took about four with me on vacation that covered different subject material), she eventually stated "You know one of YOUR swinger books". I then stated in a cheerful and positive manner "Wow, it's great that you are taking an interest in this" She then said something that leads me to believe that she's open to exploring the Lifestyle "Do you think we're too old to get involved in that stuff". This was the very first time that I noticed that she was actually giving some consideration to the idea. I told her that even though we are in our 50's that there are probably many people our age and that I repeated that the people that we have met at the Clothing Optional resorts were really down to earth and that I enjoyed their company. I reiterated what all the books have said that she didn't and I didn't have to "do anybody" if we don't want to. I said that had we gotten married in our 20's instead of 30's then we would probably be having this conversation when we were in our 40's. I said that it was OUR time to have fun and get a sense of exictment back. I explained that in my 20's in was in the service and then went on to school. I got out of the service, met her, finished college and then went on to law school. Our first child was born in my last year and we've been raising our kids ever since besides the both of us working. I told her I thought we deserved to get involved in something that excites us and that we can both enjoy while we are physically able to.
Then as a lark I said why don't we take a weekend for ourselves and attend a swingers club just to see what it's like. Lo and behold she said "OK" . Sorry for the long story but I thought it may be useful for others.

This is so worthy of sharing with others. And just how did your visit go ?

I have to make a funny though .

If you go on vacation, and your partner brings 4 swinger related books along discreetly..... You might be a swinger

Excellent post Celtic, just excellent.

[tittietwister]

The purpose of all relationships is to magnify the human experience. If someone is open minded and seeks to grow and transform on all levels of human experience, then they will probably be open to at least discsussing it and perhaps experimenting with swinging.

[sweet_tna]

How about, "your partner has no trouble talking about sex and expressing his or her desires?" That's why I find it funny that Mr. Sweet thought I'd "never go for it" before our friends brought up the topic.

=)

[celtic239]

Vi and Fun4 - thanks for the positive responses. As for your question "How did it go at a club?". The answer is that we just got back on Wednesday. However while on vacation I was out walking and hurt my ankle. I thought it was just a bad sprain. When we got back to the States I went to my MD who suggested that I get it X-rayed and it turns out that I broke two bones in the ankle. Now I have this Robo-Cop type removable cast attached to my leg. I would like for the Mrs to enjoy her first club experience with some dancing so I guess I'll just have to wait the month and half before hitting the dance floor or other pieces of furniture.