Bi or not?

[graygo98]

Originally Posted by socolais

But is it a simple three-state situation (hetero, bi, homo), or is it possible to have many positions between hetero and homo? And just as an observation, it appears to be unmanly to be bi-curious.

This link to the Wik article on Kinsey's scale makes a lot of sense to me. It also sheds some light on the "she's not really bi 'cause she doesn't go down on me" debate that surfaces from time to time wrt bi-fems.

Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

As to prevalence of bi tendencies among men, my guess is that there are a lot that might be a 1 or 2 on Kinsey's scale but who don't put it on their profiles or talk about it. They either suppress any urge or they might try the stealth bi approach: the accidental touch hoping for a positive response or the "it would turn on the girls but not me" suggestion.

[warkman]

Originally Posted by graygo98

This link to the Wik article on Kinsey's scale makes a lot of sense to me. It also sheds some light on the "she's not really bi 'cause she doesn't go down on me" debate that surfaces from time to time wrt bi-fems.

I don't want to hijack the thread, but I found it interesting where the term "asexual" was placed - at the bottom of the scale after "Exclusively homosexual". Could there not be people somewhere between "Asexual" and any of the others depending on circumstances? Or does the fact that an "asexual" person might at sometime have sexual feelings make them not asexual. That would seem to be in conflict with the previous arguments having to do with homo/heterosexual activity. Maybe a 3D scale would work?

[clem]

My wife is not bi; she'll fondle, kiss, finger a girl. I'm not bi; I'll handle, kiss, and be sucked by a guy.

[Bama0468]

see this is what makes this group great, even a confusingly asked question can come up with a proper discussion, and I have to admit I am not bi (as in to straight for this and that) but as to things I have read in forum got me wondering what the "popular" opinion is. I do disagree with where Kissing was placed on the list, we kiss our sons, we kiss our fathers, I have kissed a guy on a dare for the humor value of it but i derived no pleasure (at least as pleasure we would see with in the LS) a chuckle at the reaction sure.

I am comfortable enough in my own skin and with my own male sexuality that I can handle ( and I think that is a poor term) if a guy wants to give me a hug, if I get swatted on the butt by a guy or what not. I simply say " thank you for the compliment, but I am not into that" it is respectful to them, and lets them know that while I can accept who they are I do not have a desire to partake in their LS

The other thing I have noticed is that no matter how far left or right of an issue folks may be, it stays civil, open and discussed with proper decorum. I applaud all of you.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Bama0468

what got me wondering the most was this post and its responses
A turn on for me

but I have seen in other places more open thought and even though there are some that say they are way to straight, and even some that get beligerant about the subject, it would seem that a more open atmosphere than not exists for this topic of conversation, one where we can participate more as adults rather than ( and I hate to make this leap, but have seen it) Hate mongers.

I would say that male/male involvment is FAR from accepted. I think it's a little more prevalent than it was but it's very closeted. I know quite a few single males that while they will play with other guys they would never openly admit it here or elsewhere. As far as the thread you referred to, that was a question to the women as to whether or not the idea of seeing our men with another guy turned US on. There's a HUGE difference between what might turn us on and what our guys would actually consider doing.

Originally Posted by graygo98

This link to the Wik article on Kinsey's scale makes a lot of sense to me. It also sheds some light on the "she's not really bi 'cause she doesn't go down on me" debate that surfaces from time to time wrt bi-fems.

Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There's a poll here, that asks the question as to where you fall on the Kinsey scale - http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...endancies.html

[velbuzz]

And I thought other was not going to be widely picked.

I agree with many above who indicate that bi-sexuality is more a state of mind than the sex act. Are you attracted (sexually) to men and women equally? Answer yes and I would say you are bi sexual.

So its all a question about labels. Certainly for someone with homophobic tendancies, knowing whether someone else is more likely than not interested in same gender sexual activity is important.

For us its an indication of how much risky play is a person willing to accept. We draw the line with playing with "bi-males" that are interested in bi-sexual anal. Wish SLS had a bi-oral designation. And or a scale rating similar to Kinsey's.

[msa223]

Very interesting issue.

The question I have always had is a thought experiment. If one were totally blindfolded, could you tell which sex you were doing something with? For example, if I guy were getting a blow job, could he enjoy it just as much if he thought it were from a woman but in reality it was a guy? I suppose the same thing could be asked of a woman who had someone going down on her.

I have always thought that the mind is the strongest sexual organ. The best sex isn't with the person who has the best body, but the person who is the sexiest; the person who can engage your mind in fantasy and take hold of your imagination.

While it might freak me out if I knew I were getting blown by a guy, if I were blindfolded and didn't know and I was just concentrating on my own sensations and the thoughts in my head, if I am truly honest with myself, I'm not sure I could definitely say I wouldn't enjoy it. Tongue on skin is tongue on skin, no matter what the sex of the tongue is. I think the difference is all in your mind.

[Additude]

Originally Posted by msa223

Very interesting issue.
The question I have always had is a thought experiment. If one were totally blindfolded, could you tell which sex you were doing something with? For example, if I guy were getting a blow job, could he enjoy it just as much if he thought it were from a woman but in reality it was a guy?

I don't think it would matter one way or the other as a test or experiment. In reality, who would get blindfolded to get a BJ? I'm sure a few situations exist, but not as a test for bi or not bi.

If a male person knew they were going to be blindfolded and they knew they would be receiving a blow job from either a male or a female then their knowledge and acceptance of receiving that sexual act from either a male or female would be their preconcieved mental attitude towords it. Either accepting or not accepting of it.

It really means their mental state would be accepting of the blow job from either male or female, blindfolded or not. If a male was totally straight and knew that there was a 50/50 chance of himself getting a BJ from another male blindfolded or not, there would be a 100% chance that male wouldn't allow that situation to happen.

A person can't say they didn't or wouldn't know because a normal adult person is reasonably intelligent enough to understand that accepting the blindfold would lead to the possibility of them receiving a BJ from another male. Otherwise, why get blindfolded just to get a blow job from a female? when the visual stimulus is very exiting in itself.

For me, the blindfold theory doesn't hold water.....ummm, err, create any darkness. A person can see with the mind, it doesn't have to be only with the eyes.

[rickmccool]

You are bisexual to whatever degree, or straight, or gay when you are born and you cease to be that way when you die. You have no choice. You can repress it, feel bad about it or whatever, but it will not change. As for myself, I've decided to go with it and have fun. And for those who say you're either straight or gay, no in between, they're just wrong. I'm a very masculine, good looking older guy, about a 2 on the Kinsey scale.
If there are others out there that can relate I would enjoy hearing from you.

[rdy46227]

When you desire same-sex contacts, you are bi.

"Bi-curious" means "wanting", so bi-curious are bi.

I'll also allow one to stop being bi if they can successfully renounce the desire.

[cocpl2007]

Your poll, just talking Males here in our response, ok?

When we post our profile declaring our sexual preference, by not checking the Bi or Bi-curious box it means, to us, that Mr Co has no interest in:

kissing
Touching
Fondling
Groping
Anal play
Penetration
Other

with the Male half of the other couple.

Also it seems that the “declaration” that someone is other than Heterosexual is worn on that individual’s sleeve, whereas heterosexuals are like… well, the NORM (notice we did NOT say “Normal”). We do have lesbian friends, we don’t have any male Bi or Gay friends...that we know of. By declaring that Mr. Co has no predisposition toward MM play we are declaring our preferences and eliminating the disappointment that those couples with Bi or Bi Curious males would encounter playing with us

[Bama0468]

Originally Posted by cocpl2007

Also it seems that the “declaration” that someone is other than Heterosexual is worn on that individual’s sleeve, whereas heterosexuals are like… well, the NORM (notice we did NOT say “Normal”). We do have lesbian friends, we don’t have any male Bi or Gay friends...that we know of. By declaring that Mr. Co has no predisposition toward MM play we are declaring our preferences and eliminating the disappointment that those couples with Bi or Bi Curious males would encounter playing with us

this is not totlaly acurate, let me explain...

every one of our profiles states I am straight, However we have been contacted and came close to a playdate with those who say they are straight yet he still asked if MM play was alright and wanted to give me a BJ amongst other things. This has happened more than once.

So I know from personal experience that putting straight in your profile means absolutly squat. That being said perhaps if more place put up the scale as part of the profile, this MAY stop happening.
I myself am by no means homophobic, I DO have gay friends both male and female they know I am straight and respect my space, they know what is allowable and not, Yes I will give a friendly/manly hug, yes they have swatted my ass to which I reply thanks for the compliment.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by N&G

I believe that sexuality is a matter of declaration and has little to do with sex.

This nails it for me.

I don't think it is something you do - in fact, you can have sex with someone of the same sex without being bisexual. The acts were homosexual, but your sexuality is what you declare it to be. Perhaps you were bi-curious - and in exploring that curiosity realized you were straight.

But if you tried it, liked it and decided "yep, bisexuality is for me" then you are probably bi.

We have someone on the board, I believe (can't find the thread) who listed themselves as a bi-curious woman. Tried things out and decided she wasn't bisexual at all. While our culture tends to be much harder on men when they "try bi" I think the same rules would apply.

You are or you aren't - and only you really know.

Spoomonkey

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We have someone on the board, I believe (can't find the thread) who listed themselves as a bi-curious woman. Tried things out and decided she wasn't bisexual at all.

Was it this one Spoo?

It's the one I remember referring to the topic.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Was it this one Spoo?

Yep...

That' the one!

Good sleuthing!

Spoomonkey