Connection substituting for lust.

[rdy46227]

If I see a super-hot female with all the attributes <insert list of everything women hate about other women > that really rev the lust engine, obviously (except for having nice manors) I'd be all over her!

If I see a female (glance across the room type see) that doesn't trigger the lust engine, it doesn't mean I can't get it going. But generally, I need some connection so I can focus on more that the physical package.

So we talk, get to know each other, sample personalities, etc. and then I might have kick-started the lust engine and be ready to race.

OTOH, when the action starts, Mz. super-hot will probably fuel the lust more than Mz. connected, just because of all the physical things <inset list again> that evolution has programmed men to respond to.

1. Compared to "lust at first sight", how much can connection substitute?

2. In the middle of sex, how well can connection keep things going when specific physical turn-ons are lacking?

This is a "share your opinion" type thread...

[JustAskJulie]

I agree with the first part that in leiu of an instant attraction a good connection can create the desire. However, I don't necessarily agree that HOT body/face whatever that made me lust over him/her is going to be better in sack than someone I had to create a connection with to be attracted to. Attraction, I have found, has very little to do with how good someone is in the sack. The person i had to establish a connection with may be the worlds greatest lover whereas the hot guy/chick I lusted after from across the room may (and this has often for me proven to be true) be of the type that thinks they are so hot all they have to do is show up, rather than put any actual effort in.

[WeMayTryIt]

While a super hot body is nice, in the end, I'm more interested in what else she brings to the bed (couch, floor, kitchen table, whatever). If she loves giving and receiving pleasure and is good at both, that trumps everything, period.

[socolais]

Something my grandad told me before I ran off and joined the military - "ugly chicks appreciate it more". While I have observed a less than perfect corelation, I think I agree with the sentiment. Everyone has something to offer and it's a buyer's market.....

I'm much more turned on by a cheerful woman that wants to flirt with me than by pretty skin with no brain.

[sexcupid]

The fact is that Ms. Super-hot is probably aware that more than half of the room is drooling after her and probably could care less to give over 95% of the room the time of day.

And it's not necessarily as you say, things that women hate about other women...while I don't mind my sweetie looking or even, 'wow, did you see that girl over there'...I don't need to literally see him give himself whiplash to get another look, hear him go on and on and on about her, stop dead in his tracks...so on and so forth to make himself look like a fool that's never seen a pretty woman before. And if that is truly what it is he is looking for, then why on earth is he with me (who on my best days I consider to be average looking, no where near traffic stopping)? I can appreciate a pretty girl, and I'm well aware that he can. What some women hate is the fact that their sweeties act a fool when presented with a traffic stopper.

Now, for me...what I consider hot/sexy varies by the partner. I've had sex with some that there wasn't an initial attraction to...and others that there was a fire totally lit. Most of the 'fire totally lit' guys were not traffic stoppers either, but hot to me...and generally good experiences. The 'hope I get turned on' partners usually equal mediocre experiences at best, awful at worst.

[good times]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

Now, for me...what I consider hot/sexy varies by the partner. I've had sex with some that there wasn't an initial attraction to...and others that there was a fire totally lit. Most of the 'fire totally lit' guys were not traffic stoppers either, but hot to me...and generally good experiences. The 'hope I get turned on' partners usually equal mediocre experiences at best, awful at worst.

This is how it is for me too, I have yet to have a good experience with someone who hasn't turn me on or got my motor going before we get to the bedroom.

[lustylearning]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

What some women hate is the fact that their sweeties act a fool when presented with a traffic stopper.

Most of the 'fire totally lit' guys were not traffic stoppers either, but hot to me...and generally good experiences.

Amen and Amen. Preach it!


"My dear, it is not the lust I mind, but rather the drooling."

"Oh, yeah. He's got movie star good looks for sure. Does he speak?"

[sweet_tna]

Lust is a wonderful thing, but without the connection, it's not gonna' last . . . for me, anyway.

=)

[josephanthony69]

If it's not fun, does it matter how cute/handsome they are?

[JustAskJulie]

I actually kinda enjoy the drooling and the whiplash. It's nice to know his radar still works - plus it makes it easier for me to spot them if I hadn't already. The only time I get upset is when I don't notice them or his reaction and after they are out of site he says something about them... then I'm like "Why didn't you say something! I wanted to see too!"

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I actually kinda enjoy the drooling and the whiplash. It's nice to know his radar still works - plus it makes it easier for me to spot them if I hadn't already. The only time I get upset is when I don't notice them or his reaction and after they are out of site he says something about them... then I'm like "Why didn't you say something! I wanted to see too!"

I know Jeff's radar still works... Sometimes he's discreet about it, others he's not. Eh, no biggie. I just don't want to hear about it all the time.

And I don't mind him pointing someone out to me if I don't notice them either, sometimes I'm either in conversation with someone, dancing, etc and am not really scanning the room...and he usually is. So I know I'm bound to be missing someone/something interesting because I'm absorbed in what I'm doing at the time.

I guess for me, there is a line between observant and disrespectrul and some guys just don't know where that is. I don't know...it's hard to describe and I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it.