Name That Swinger!

[lustylearning]

At the risk of sounding jaded, how about the Krueger couple - they're a dream until you're well into it, then they turn out to be a Nightmare on Elm Street.

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

At the risk of sounding jaded, how about the Krueger couple - they're a dream until you're well into it, then they turn out to be a Nightmare on Elm Street.

"How sweet! Fresh meat!"

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by socolais

The Klingon Kouple - they invade your personal space a little too quickly when your shields are down and they engage the tractor beam. Evasive manuvers are less than completely effective, where's that damn cloking device....

We have a couple of these we deal with at our local social. They see us and head straight for us and we run the other way.... they have led us to be...

The BabySitters: The couple left taking care of the couples who can't seem to work a social on their own two (make that 4) feet, thus clinging to what they percieve as a "similar" couple and making them babysit them the whole night.

[twoforone100]

The Beauty and the Beast We feel that this is actually the hot chick with the scary older guy....

[twoforone100]

The couple of the week.... That couple that is either a new couple or not really a couple at all...

[slevin]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

The Sleepers: They seem nice, normal and you're thinking this is going to turn out really well. Then you find out that they're, uh, crazy. They tell you about her stint as a prostitute.

Not that we'd swing with them, but it'd be awesome to be chatting with a couple and get a story about how she used to be a prostitute lol. Not only would it make a fun story to tell on a swingers message board, it'd be an interesting conversation I bet!

[slevin]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

OK, this one's not PC, but the Beauty and the Beast couple. Couples who are so mis-matched in their looks and/or personalities that you're excited when you meet one member of the couple, but oh so disappointed or downright surprised when you meet the partner, because you know you are never going to hook up unless you're at a house party or if they play separately. Also known as the "What-Does-S/He-See-In-Them?" Or the She's-So-Nice-And-He's-Such-An-Asshole Couple.

Not that I'm hideous or anything, but we met a couple where the guy wasn't someone Katrina was really attracted to but the girl was someone we were both into. After playing a few times it ended up coming out that the other girl wasn't attracted to me at all either. Kind of amusing once it all came out

Ours is: The Director. He is an older guy who shows up with a (or multiple) prostitute. He hangs back and tells them what to do and with who while he watches. It turns very creepy when he shifts to watching you instead of them! There are a couple of older gentlemen we've seen at the local club doing this.

[twoforone100]

The vaulters..... those couples who know everyone but never shares friends, or information. aka " the one way couple"

The planners... that couples who you can never hook up with as they are booked for months in advance.


The worriers.. that couple who either has plans and wonders what they are missing or does not have plans and then stresses about not having plans.

[carrysmith]

Originally Posted by good times

The tigress, I like that one, every club seems to have at least one of those.

Ours is not very original, it is kind of like Julies "towel shark", but we call him the "creepy single dude". The one at the club last night, followed us around, always positioning himself strategically (always a little to close for comfort) to stare at Mrs. GT's boobs. Don't get me wrong, I like to admire mrs. GT's boobs as much as anybody, but even though I am married to her, I can do it less conspicuously than these guys do. These are the same guys that when confronted for going to far, insist that they just accidentally grabbed her boob or her ass without permission.

we have many of those in our club,we call them towel sharkies/jerkers/towel people & yucks.

[rathor]

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

The silent partner- the female of a controlling husband in the lifestyle. He's lays down the rules and picks the partners, she goes along with it because it does offer her a chance to have fulfilling sex once in a while. She doesn't open up unless he's in another room. Then she's an animal.

I never thought that happening in Swinging, not in the documentary I saw about swinging which sparked my interested, Swinger's Party Willing Wives. I thought Swingers are open to each other in sex no matter whether they are together on one bed or in different places.

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

We're looking to become your next best friends with benefits!

Thats really a nice siggy

[MtnSwing]

The Mentors. This was our initiation. Literally 5 minutes after we put up our first profile we got a message from an "experienced" couple eager to offer us advice. Then they showed up at our first club visit to tutor us in person. They tried to instill a list of a million rules before you should ever play. In reality they never seem to play. The best thing we did was to forget their rules and go with what felt good to us.

Bi-selfish. This is the woman who's happy to have another woman go down on her but would never return the favor.

The shape shifter. This is the person (usually a woman but not always) that never looks the same twice. You meet them once and next time her boobs are done. Next her lips. Tummy tuck next. It goes on and on.

The jetsetters. They're never available because they have bimonthly trips to Hedo, lifestyle cruises and then they complain that they have no time to use their hot tub.

The Hosers. These are the couples that think squirting is a party trick and every one should be well sprayed by the wife/gf. Personally I love women that squirt but not in this way. I had an experience once where I was playing with a lovely lady and some woman came in and literally stood on the bed behind us squirting on us - she thought it was so kewl.

[CXXC]

The Imposters: This is a couple with whom you meet and play, having an AMAZING time at a club or party and make plans to get together at another time and place. When the time arrives, this couple is completely different. the evening is strange and the sex is mechanical! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OTHER COUPLE???

[Expulsion]

Haha I love this thread, it's so hilarious.

I'm way too new to the scene to contribute, but I wanted you all to know I've been laughing my bits off at this.

[little firefly]

The backseat driver- a person (most often male) who hangs out in the play area giving instruction to other couples while they play "smack that ass harder" "make her gag on it" "get on your knees and let him hit it from the back".....It's so annoying and really disrupts the mood

[JustAskJulie]

The latest article from Soccer Mom on Creative Loafing was right in line with this thread:

Swinging: when things go wrong | Daily Loaf