Name That Swinger!

[TNT]

The Pusher and the Deer (in headlights):

He's pushed her into coming to a club and sits at a table vibrating with excitement, oblivious to her discomfort.

She sits there, eyes wide open, scared to move or even breath.


We've seen so many of these couples throughout the years and it's just painful to look at them.



Teresa

[BiloxiCouple]

The Church Couple - This is an actual one we know. They actually change clothes after going to church into her slut wear. They don't want "anyone" to know. They act innocent all the time about everything. They are actually very nice people, but they don't actually swing. Their standards are too high!! Known them for years.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

The Church Couple

Hey, we know a church couple! They do swing, but often have to leave the parties a little early on Saturday night so they can get some sleep before teaching Sunday school the next morning.

They're also a very nice couple.

[JustAskJulie]

The Internet Swinger - they will IM, webcam and email you to no end, but you'll never see them in person.

The Group Whores - they join every group and sign up on every site just to see who else is listed, but never actually show up at anything.

[sereneiders]

The Zoo Visitors: those going to the club or meeting just to watch those freaky animals seduction games and sexual behaviors. They wisper into each other ear and get scared as soon as someone approaches them to talk. And you're sure sooner or later they will throw a cookie to someone.

The Beauty and the Beast: She is open and friendly, he's really shy and needs a drink to start his engines... then he becomes the beast, calling every women names, telling everyone his wife is a great fuck and a slut, haging from your shoulders to yell in your ear, interrupting other people's conversation to make a gross joke... and so on.

Droopy: they can come alone, as a couple or as half of a copule. Whenever you go, whatever you do, suddenly he or she or them appears before you. You're at the bar, and he/she/them pop up from between the bottles... you leave he/she/them at the bar to dance and he/she/them pops up in front of you, you bring another couple to the private area and... he/she/they're already there... casually.

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by sereneiders

The Zoo Visitors: those going to the club or meeting just to watch those freaky animals seduction games and sexual behaviors. They wisper into each other ear and get scared as soon as someone approaches them to talk. And you're sure sooner or later they will throw a cookie to someone.

LOL! This is a great visual. I can just see a couple casually hanging out, and then totally freaking when somebody walks up to them, throwing a cookie at the stunned person(s), and then running, shrieking, for the door.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

Themulators: Think the way to be attractive, cool playmates is to attempt to emulate "sexy" behavior they've seen in B-grade porn or on MTV.

For guys, this includes blurting "Gag on it" while ramming his partner's head onto his wienie, or preferring doggie style, so he can slap her ass and pull her hair while ordering "take that meat!"

For women, it's faking the vacant eyed crack whore expression while attempting alluring moves on the dance floor, sometimes slithering on a brass pole for extra credit.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

Size Droppers: Insecure members of each gender who believe that verbally reminding you how well they're endowed will incite either passion or envy.

The female version asks come-on questions like "how'd you like to feel my 44DDs all over you?" (we quake with anticipation) or "What a cute camisole, of course, it'd never fit over my boobs." (meow)

The male version manages to work into every conversation "my 6.5 x 4" or "if you think my feet are big ..." hoping ladies have always aspired to attempt taking his monster (ho-hum). The better endowed but still insecure sect drop comments like "I may not be the largest tool in the shed, but..." hoping you'll protest that he is. (he isn't) We suspect, but have no scientific proof, that these are the same guys who're compelled to post and email cock pix.

Size Dropper comments from each gender elicit a mix of amusement and annoyance. But, daggone, don't you run into them everywhere?

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Hot Raleigh Cpl

Size Droppers: Insecure members of each gender who believe that verbally reminding you how well they're endowed will incite either passion or envy.

The female version asks come-on questions like "how'd you like to feel my 44DDs all over you?" (we quake with anticipation) or "What a cute camisole, of course, it'd never fit over my boobs." (meow)

The male version manages to work into every conversation "my 6.5 x 4" or "if you think my feet are big ..." hoping ladies have always aspired to attempt taking his monster (ho-hum). The better endowed but still insecure sect drop comments like "I may not be the largest tool in the shed, but..." hoping you'll protest that he is. (he isn't) We suspect, but have no scientific proof, that these are the same guys who're compelled to post and email cock pix.

Size Dropper comments from each gender elicit a mix of amusement and annoyance. But, daggone, don't you run into them everywhere?

Whatever do you mean? Now excuse me, but I have to go stuff my HUGE rack in a Barbie-doll sized shirt and make sure my honey's MONSTER cock didn't leave any dents in the doorway this morning . . .

=)

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by Hot Raleigh Cpl

For guys, this includes blurting "Gag on it" while ramming his partner's head onto his wienie, or preferring doggie style, so he can slap her ass and pull her hair while ordering "take that meat!"

Sounds like the inside of the deli department at Wal-Mart.

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

Whatever do you mean? Now excuse me, but I have to go stuff my HUGE rack in a Barbie-doll sized shirt and make sure my honey's MONSTER cock didn't leave any dents in the doorway this morning . . .

Hey baby, can YOU handle my BIG COCK?!?

[Bama0468]

the mosquitos- This couple can't seem to keep FINGERS off you, every chance they get they poke at you WITH A FINGER .....poke poke poke poke ... Grrr ... actually had a couple everyone had nick named the "Pokey Couple" and it mattered not where they poked ya, arms, belly, chest , legs... what ever was in reach

[lebcpl2swing]

Originally Posted by Formybubu

Well here in vegas when we went to the RR for the first time. and came up with a great name for some of the Singles FREAKAZOIDS- the singles with towels who smell couples having sex in an open area and when you look up you get freaked out by all the towels looking like tents.

We call these guys Vultures - always circling with their wings flapping!

[two4youinswva]

The Shooting Stars:

Month One: Brand new to the lifestyle and get first experience.
Month Two: They're the ones hanging from the ceiling fan in the orgy room.
Month Three: They are now swinging "experts", professing more knowledge than the couples that started in the 70's. "Gangbang seminar starts at 8 pm."


.........aaaand, finally,
Month Twelve: They file for divorce.



We've seen it twice.
So far.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

The Shooting Stars:

Month One: Brand new to the lifestyle and get first experience.
Month Two: They're the ones hanging from the ceiling fan in the orgy room.
Month Three: They are now swinging "experts", professing more knowledge than the couples that started in the 70's. "Gangbang seminar starts at 8 pm."


.........aaaand, finally,
Month Twelve: They file for divorce.



We've seen it twice.
So far.

I've seen this scenario around here a few times..... I would call them...

Falling Stars:

Same scenario, except it's Week 1: First experience
Week 2: First Orgy
Week 3: They are taking a break because they moved too fast.
Week 4: they are back at it again and are now experts.

Repeat steps 2-4 as neccesary. Perhaps Roller Coasters would be a better name.

[two4youinswva]

The Ticketmaster: He's the guy that shows up at the couples only club with a different girl every month.