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Lee's Thread "Are you a swinger?" made me think of something that might be fun...

 

Name that Swinger!

 

We know the typical variatels, as Lee described them, the Swinger, the Soft-swinger, the tease, the voyeur, and someone else mentioned and explained the lifestyler...

 

So let's see how many types of swingers we can come up with and create names for (just for fun).

 

One that we all have heard of....

 

The Towel Shark - a (typically) single male who goes to the clubs, stands around in his towel (if required to disrobe) and walks around wanking off while standing over anyone can he can get close enough to watch having sex.

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The silent partner- the female of a controlling husband in the lifestyle. He's lays down the rules and picks the partners, she goes along with it because it does offer her a chance to have fulfilling sex once in a while. She doesn't open up unless he's in another room. Then she's an animal.

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The everyone look at us, King and Queen of Swing.

 

We have seen a few couples that are only interested in everyone knowing who they are. They apply to all groups and parties with all the gossip about who is who, look at us we will be there. And never, not once, played in any variety of mix :confused: .

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The Magicians -- Smiling after the initial meeting while intoning, "we're really happy we had this chance to meet you, let's get together again soon" after which you never hear from them again.

 

The Photoshoppers -- Their on-line profile pictures somehow failed to reveal their complete lack of teeth.

 

The Phantoms -- You are staring at your wrist watches asking each other, "How long do you wait before you can conclude they are not going to show."

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Cheerleaders - Bounces around and has to talk to everyone!! Which is great, but they can't focus on anything for long. Damn cheerleaders!! Similar to the King and Queen and the flirts/teasers.

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The Tigress--the overly aggressive bifem that, upon seeing any FF action going on will pounce on it, assuming she's welcome.

 

=)

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The Tigress--the overly aggressive bifem that, upon seeing any FF action going on will pounce on it, assuming she's welcome.

 

=)

 

If the Tigress assumes she's welcome, what do we call the ones who pounce regardless?

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If the Tigress assumes she's welcome, what do we call the ones who pounce regardless?

 

Bitch Slapped Tigress?

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The icky-Queen - Has no problems let another woman touch and lick her, but as soon as she is asked to let her hands wander lower then breasts she is grossed out

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The tigress, I like that one, every club seems to have at least one of those.

 

Ours is not very original, it is kind of like Julies "towel shark", but we call him the "creepy single dude". The one at the club last night, followed us around, always positioning himself strategically (always a little to close for comfort) to stare at Mrs. GT's boobs. Don't get me wrong, I like to admire mrs. GT's boobs as much as anybody, but even though I am married to her, I can do it less conspicuously than these guys do. These are the same guys that when confronted for going to far, insist that they just accidentally grabbed her boob or her ass without permission.

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If the Tigress assumes she's welcome, what do we call the ones who pounce regardless?

We cal them the "bi-furious".

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The fronters- Couples that brag that they play and who they have played with, only to find out that they are all talk and no action.

 

The only too sexy for themselves crew- We have this group of couples that come out to the house parties that will flirt with others, but when you flirt back one of the others from the group will come from the group to get them. They like to flirt and tease, but don't want to be touched by others. :wtf3: is up with that.

and

 

Bacon finders- Couples that go out to a couples only party looking for bi females, only to break up a couple.

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Oh god, these are hilarious...

 

I don't know if we've been in the game long enough to 'name that swinger', but reading these are awesome!

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The Whanking Dead - We once visited a club on a SLOW night. We were the only couple there. Anywhere we went there was a a group of single men following us, cocks in hand. Anytime we attempted to start some play by ourselves, the "thup, thup, thup" of multiple hand jobs kinda spoiled the mood. :eek:

 

This was NOT at the Vegas Red Rooster BTW :)

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The Tabloid Swingers.......These are the ones who like to catch newbies at the door and give them information on everyone in the club also gathering info on the newbies. They then go around and tell anyone who'll listen about the newbies.

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Cheap-Fuckers - Elderly guys in greying underpants who don't want to waste money on a prostitute, but then complain all night long that the club is not full with 20 year old nymphomans, fighting over who gets to have sex with them first

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Guest screaminggood

The Wasted Chick---she's so wasted she can't stand up without her man's help. Her eyelids are drooping....and her man thinks it's attractive to everyone else!

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The Klingon Kouple - they invade your personal space a little too quickly when your shields are down and they engage the tractor beam. Evasive manuvers are less than completely effective, where's that damn cloking device....

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The Wasted Chick---she's so wasted she can't stand up without her man's help. Her eyelids are drooping....and her man thinks it's attractive to everyone else!

 

The other side of this coin -

 

The Wasted Husband - not sure he wanted to be there in the first place and once he's drunk the wife can actually have fun on her own. He's passed out head on the table and she's running off on her own.

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The Fake Friendlies - Those people who go around the room making their rounds, especially to newbies, but quickly close ranks into tightly-knit iron-clad cliques when the fun starts.

 

(very common at a club we used to attend)

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The Klingon Kouple - they invade your personal space a little too quickly when your shields are down and they engage the tractor beam. Evasive manuvers are less than completely effective, where's that damn cloking device....
Priceless! I love it!

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We have seen quite a few of the "towel Sharks". I like that name. We usually call them los lonely boys

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The Cinderella Couple: The closer it gets to midnight, the more desparate they look...like their coach is about to turn into a pumpkin. They're looking for someone, anyone to hook up with, because damn it, they've got a sitter and they're not just going to have sex with each other.

 

The Baracudas: This is what we call the couples that can't wait to sink their teeth into the newbies. They circle, and then move in for the kill.

 

The Sleepers: They seem nice, normal and you're thinking this is going to turn out really well. Then you find out that they're, uh, crazy. They tell you about her stint as a prostitute. Or, that they were on the verge of divorce until they starting swinging. Or tell a cute little story about the time they broke up and she slept with the guy's new girlfriend. I swear, those were all true stories.

 

Can't Take a Hint Couple: You've told them that you think you're not compatible. But they still think that because you say hello, maybe there's a shot.

 

Pepper

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The Sleepers: They seem nice, normal and you're thinking this is going to turn out really well. Then you find out that they're, uh, crazy. They tell you about her stint as a prostitute. Or, that they were on the verge of divorce until they starting swinging. Or tell a cute little story about the time they broke up and she slept with the guy's new girlfriend. I swear, those were all true stories.

 

We met this couple when we were both in the military in Hawaii. We were "exploring" to possibility of swinging, but ultimately decided it wasn't for us at that time.

 

We met this couple on a BBS (for those that remember BBS's) called Pacific Velvet. We were invited to their house, which was on the military base, for "a couple of drinks, maybe some poker... who know?"

 

So we meet them and chat with them some in their living room. All was going well. The husband stands up and says "Well, let me give you guys the tour."

 

Everything was going fine until we got to their den. Completely covering one wall was all sorts of medieval weaponry. Axes, warhammers, maces, ball-and-chains, daggers, and more swords then I can count. They were quite proud of it.

 

Three words: "Run. Like. Hell." We made a comment about getting a page (handheld cellphones were something of an expensive novelty then) from the babysitter (and we didn't have kids) and got the heck outta there.

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The Cinderella Couple: The closer it gets to midnight, the more desparate they look...like their coach is about to turn into a pumpkin. They're looking for someone, anyone to hook up with, because damn it, they've got a sitter and they're not just going to have sex with each other.

We have a similar one to this, we call them tourists: By god we came all the way to Reno to go to this club and we are going to hook up or else.

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BiloxiCouple said:
The Chameleon: The lady who is constantly changing outfits during the party.

 

Haha, actually I like that. We have one lady who only dances, doesn't play, but probably brings 6 outfits. Hmm... maybe I should hit on her and see if she does play! :D

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I can't come up with a name for this one.....

The we're married to other people but swing as a couple, couple. His wife thinks he's away on business but really he's at a swinger club with his mistress (who of course is also married to someone else).

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I can't come up with a name for this one.....

The we're married to other people but swing as a couple, couple. His wife thinks he's away on business but really he's at a swinger club with his mistress (who of course is also married to someone else).

 

The Shell Players (as in, the shell game played on the streets--find the marble?)

 

=)

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The Shell Players (as in, the shell game played on the streets--find the marble?)

 

Expanding on that thought...

 

"Two-Card Monte"

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Expanding on that thought...

 

"Two-Card Monte"

 

I thought of that one too, but dismissed it 'cause the traditional game is THREE Card Monte. ::P:

 

=)

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Well, you see, that's the point. Three Card Monte is a common con game. But since we're talking about only two people who are in the "con", and also the absurdity of a two-card version of the Three Card Monte...

 

(sigh)

 

Why are all the pretty ones insane?

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Chris&Amelia said:
Well, you see, that's the point. Three Card Monte is a common con game. But since we're talking about only two people who are in the "con", and also the absurdity of a two-card version of the Three Card Monte...

 

(sigh)

 

Why are all the pretty ones insane?

 

I've already answered this one . . . I guess the memory is the first thing to go when you get OLDER, huh? :cool:

 

?

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Well here in vegas when we went to the RR for the first time. and came up with a great name for some of the Singles FREAKAZOIDS- the singles with towels who smell couples having sex in an open area and when you look up you get freaked out by all the towels looking like tents.

 

Also you have the 2a.m.ers- The ones who are on the dance floor and/or sitting at the table until 2 a.m. then start tryng to get you go to a room as you are ready to go home

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Also you have the 2a.m.ers- The ones who are on the dance floor and/or sitting at the table until 2 a.m. then start tryng to get you go to a room as you are ready to go home

 

They learned this from vanilla clubs... the guys would wait till 2am and seek out the girls who looked just drunk enough (not so drunk she was going to puke on them but drunk enough that she's go home with him) and grab her before the lights came on.

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I can't come up with a name for this one.....

The we're married to other people but swing as a couple, couple. His wife thinks he's away on business but really he's at a swinger club with his mistress (who of course is also married to someone else).

 

In the sports world, I think they would be called "Restricted Free Agents".

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Guest screaminggood

"The Girl Gang...." they dance together, drink together, go to the bathroom together. I wonder if they only have sex together?

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We cal them the "bi-furious".

 

The first time I saw this in a profile...I thought...'wtf? Is she pissed off about being bi?' :lol:

 

Yes, sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake. ;)

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The Ghost swinger - They contact you thru the internet, but never able to keep an appointment. They just never seem to appear.

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good times said:
Ours is not very original, it is kind of like Julies "towel shark", but we call him the "creepy single dude". The one at the club last night, followed us around, always positioning himself strategically (always a little to close for comfort) to stare at Mrs. GT's boobs. Don't get me wrong, I like to admire mrs. GT's boobs as much as anybody, but even though I am married to her, I can do it less conspicuously than these guys do..

 

Well, I dunno, R... It's hard to fault a guy for being mesmerized by Mrs. Good Times' boobs. As I recall, they're quite pleasant eye candy!

 

:)

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Alura said:
Well, I dunno, R... It's hard to fault a guy for being mesmerized by Mrs. Good Times' boobs. As I recall, they're quite pleasant eye candy!

 

:)

 

:iagree:

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The Pusher and the Deer (in headlights):

 

He's pushed her into coming to a club and sits at a table vibrating with excitement, oblivious to her discomfort.

 

She sits there, eyes wide open, scared to move or even breath.

 

We've seen so many of these couples throughout the years and it's just painful to look at them.

 

 

Teresa

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The Church Couple - This is an actual one we know. They actually change clothes after going to church into her slut wear. They don't want "anyone" to know. They act innocent all the time about everything. They are actually very nice people, but they don't actually swing. Their standards are too high!! Known them for years.

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The Church Couple

 

Hey, we know a church couple! They do swing, but often have to leave the parties a little early on Saturday night so they can get some sleep before teaching Sunday school the next morning.

 

They're also a very nice couple.

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The Internet Swinger - they will IM, webcam and email you to no end, but you'll never see them in person.

 

The Group Whores - they join every group and sign up on every site just to see who else is listed, but never actually show up at anything.

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For guys, this includes blurting "Gag on it" while ramming his partner's head onto his wienie, or preferring doggie style, so he can slap her ass and pull her hair while ordering "take that meat!"

 

Sounds like the inside of the deli department at Wal-Mart.

 

Whatever do you mean? Now excuse me, but I have to go stuff my HUGE rack in a Barbie-doll sized shirt and make sure my honey's MONSTER cock didn't leave any dents in the doorway this morning . . . :lol:

 

Hey baby, can YOU handle my BIG COCK?!? ;)

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